SNAGLEY snagley SNAGLEY or (TRI SNAG)

I’M BACK

Well good to be back. Looks like Chuck and Qop did an excellent job on the old blog here. I did accomplish quite a bit on my week off, it was quite a week.
Future post will contain

1. The Snagley dogs, cats and chickens in heat.
2. Actual work accomplished.
3. Poison Oak
4. Goofier than normal kids.
5. Turnip greens and corn bread.

Also when we rode to the mall in college we were properly wearing our underwear. If you ask why we did it I honestly have no idea. I’ll bet I could have given you an existential reason back then and could have talked you into going with us. I could talk Chuck into about anything back then.
When I looked at the picture of me with the toilet seat in my head, I had to pause and acknowledge Damn I am a good-looking man.

Who wants to hear what story first.

Howdy folks! This is Chuck sitting in for the vacationing Snagley, and believe it or not....this is a picture of old Snagley back in college. I believe this picture was taken sometime in 1987 or 88. Those of you who have read this blog from the early days may remember when I last posted for him while he was away. I think it was sometime in February or March. I wrote all about how I first met Snagley in the 2nd floor bathroom in our college dorm. It was beautifully told, full of drama and comedy, and quite a bit of toilet humor. Unfortunately, upon his return, he “accidently” deleted the factual tale. So those of you who weren’t reading back then really missed out.

When he asked me to guest blog this time I had intended to, once again, write about some of our early adventures. Maybe share more about the Alligator, (originally told in three parts here, here and here) or tell you all about the time we drove to the mall completely naked and the side splitting antics along the way. Well, obviously none of that happened. This past week became a work week from hell for me, and my free time (meaning when I was sober) was little and hard to come by. I barely had time to post on my own blog. Even coming up with my nearly award winning Half-Nekkid Thursday picture was a struggle. So, I regret that this will be the only post I will be able to grace upon the Snagley blog.....for now. But since I have his log in and password there is no telling what I may come up with sometime in the future!!

There is one good thing that’s been done though. I’m sure you’ve noticed the place looks a little different around here. Snag had also asked me if I would be willing to spruce the place up some, and I told him I’d see what I could do. Being the Internet idiot that I am I was unable to do it alone, so I asked The Queen of Pink to help me out, and voila...You now have a new and improved Bo Snagley dot com. All I really did was pick out the template and she did all the rest. The lovely QoP was like your friendly furniture mover. I would simply say, “Put that over here, and turn this around and slide it down there.” She took care of it. The woman has skills.

Okay, that’s it for me for now. Bo will be back on Monday and I’m sure he’ll be pretty dang busy trying to catch up on missed work, but maybe he’ll post. If not, I’m sure he’ll get one of his usual “total exciting” posts up as soon as he can.

This is a picture of my family. The woman on the left is my Gradmother the one in the middle is my Great Aunt. My Mom is on the right.
My Mom is 80 now the other two died years ago. this was taken around Christmas. My grandmother is cooking a ham. If i close my eyes i can smell the ham cooking. My Aunt is making homemade biscuits, i can smell those too.
I live in this house now, and my mother lives beside me in an apartment with my 85 year old father. The kitchen looks about the same.
Check out those matching house coats that they are wearing. My Grandmother made those.

Dang i am getting old.

Snagley out.

I am selling these car window decals made popular in recent times.
5.00 for each one.

Vacation next week. No big plans for the week. I think I will ask Chuck to guest post for me.
Here is a list of things I plan to do.

1. Sleep late. By late I mean 8:00 am.
2. Clean out the workshop. This might take all day.
3. Spend the night in a cave with 30 or 40 cub scouts.
4. Climb a tree and pee out of it.
5. Build a dog house for Patsy
6. Do a little bow hunting. Yes I am a barbarian.
7. I cant slap the wife on the butt and call her baby. She is still bruised up from the horse incident.
8. Work on the hen house. (Add nest boxes and build a wall)
9. Drink wine. I found a new brand of Merlot that I like it is called Rex Goliath 47 lb Rooster. Give it a try it is excellent.
10. Build a gate for Chuck (I am planning on teaching him which end of the hammer to hold and which to hit the nail with)
11. Go on a date with my 4-year old daughter. We go on one about once a month. She likes pizza and talking. I like eating and listening
12. Install a walk for my Dad from their house to his workshop. (Brutal)
13. Paint the roof of Dads workshop.
14. Sniff a stinkbug.
15. Tear up some flowerbeds that are in the middle of my front yard.
16. Shake my behind to the music at the end of Shrek in a most rhythmic fashion
17. Visit my old friend Slim at the feed store.
18. Grow additional chest hair my being more manly than normal.
19. Sing
20. Breath

Thats about it, Snagley out.

What are they thinking?

I apologies for the odd post of yesterday. It was out of place to put humor and sick twisted reality together. Today I will not do that. I want to talk a little more about fashion. I have decided Snagley will be the fashion police today, and hit on some more of my pet peeves. Remember people I know each of the people listed below.

1. Baldness cures. I know this old dude that will fly to Iowa monthly for a haircut. The reason is that his barber up there plays this horrible practical joke on him. He is bald but can’t accept it. He has hair only on the sides of his head. But he has grown this hair at least a foot long and wraps it around his head in such a manor as to deceive legally blind people into thinking he is Brad Pitt. I swear he has hairpins all over his head. When I am around him I have to stare. I saw him on a windy day walking backwards down the street with a mirror to keep his hair from blowing away. I am loosing my hair. Big deal it is just hair. Chuck has enough of it on his back to make up for any losses that I have on my head. Folks don’t be so vain that you make a fool out of your self because you are loosing hair. Damn if it is such a big deal put on a hat.

2. Over zealous eyebrow pluckers. My sister in law once plucked all of her eyebrows and drew them back in with a pencil. I know that some women have the dreaded unibrow and this can be embarrassing. I am not talking about that. What I am talking about are people who pluck so many they look abnormal. Like they were involved in a flash fire and they were burned off. If that is what happened to any of my gentle readers, you get a pass. Of course, I also know a guy who passed out drunk and his handsome cousin shaved off his right eyebrow. Oh yeah that was me, Hilarious.

3. Men who shave their legs. I have a friend who says that he has to shave his legs because he rides a bike to stay in shape says that it affects his aerodynamics. B.S. If he was Lance Armstrong maybe but he is not. Middle-aged guys that shave their legs give me the creeps. I would be afraid to go fishing with this guy at the beach, he might show up in a Speedo and throw me into a state of shock. Guys don’t shave your legs, and women do shave yours.

4. Men who wear Capri pants. I should not have to explain this one.

5. Men who pull their pants up past their just beneath their arm pits and tuck their shirt tail in tight. You know the guy. And the odd part is his wife lets the guy go out like that. I guess she is thinking it will keep other women away from him. His pants look like a permanent wedgie and his shirt tail must come down past his knees.

6. Do you remember the guy in the late 80s early 90s who smelled like he tripped and fell into the polo cologne testing counter. He would walk into the room and your eyes would start to water. He wore too tight pants and a shirt that opened up to his navel. He kept a bottle of cologne in his pocket and before he would go into a building would spritz himself. Does anybody still do this?


Snagley out.

Do you ever wonder?

Why we get worked up so much about political candidates. They are all crooked, from you dog catcher to the president. And it does not matter what country you are in they are all the same. Don’t act surprised when one of them steals money from your children’s education to fund a casino or a new stadium. In Alabama the kids are studying in squalor and the educational bureaucrats spent thousands on centerpieces for an education conference, and misplaced millions about 5 years ago. Then the crooked politicians wonder why we won’t vote for more taxes for education. They can’t manage what we entrust them with now.

What that little oil slick on top of your coffee is. My local Waffle House restaurant serves the best coffee in the world, and it has just such an oil slick. Do they add pig fat to my coffee?

Why women wear thong panties and don’t remove the tag from the back of them. In most cases the tag shows through the back. To the teen-age girls around here a thong panty is considered an accessory, not an undergarment. High school girls got them hanging out the back of their pants like some sort of invitation to the high school boys to give them an atomic wedgie. I would have flunked out of school for sure. I was driven to distraction by a bra strap when I was in high school. I remember when I was 13 the hot 16 year old librarian’s assistant with the pink bra strap used to drive us boys crazy. But we did spend a lot of time in the library.

Why people go out in public looking like they were just escaped from a carnival freak show. I saw two different women at my local Wal-Mart the other day. My wife and I were trying to find bicycles for our kids for Christmas. This woman in her 50s was wearing a v-neck sweater with no bra, and she had her chest covered with body glitter. You could almost see the woman’s navel. This woman also could not pull it off. BARF. Her husband was wearing a pair of tan san-a-belt slacks and a white v-neck sleeveless t-shirt.
The second woman was wearing a tank top with a sports bra and a pair of stretchy shorts that were doing some serious clinging. The sports bra and tank top might have fit her 11-year-old daughter. And the shorts might have fit an anorexic Malibu Barbie. This is appropriate only if you are working at a strip club, or you are exercising at home with the curtains down and doors locked. Don’t make me explain 50-year-old female anatomy to my children.

How a sicko could molest his own children. A respected member of a local community was recently imprisoned for molesting his children over a 20-year span. His 14-year-old daughter told a friend what happened and the friend told her mother. This sicko had 8 kids and molested the three girls. They all latter confessed that he had done this to them as well. This piece of garbage, this blight on society, sexually molested the children that he and his wife gave birth to. He was a respected doctor who lived in a 7,000 square foot house. His wife was oblivious, and now she is trying to support the 8 kids with an 11,000-dollar a year job. My church is trying to step up and help this woman and her family. I heard a story about this rat bastard yesterday; he was in the prison watching TV in the prisons TV room when his story came on the air. A picture of his face came on the TV and about 20 other prisoners beat the crap out of him. It is a wonder to me that the wife’s father did not kill the man.

Hey i got paid today.
this weekend i plan to add another wall to the hen house.
Pictures to follow.
Man i am a happening dude.
Jo is better not hurting as bad.
SHe is all mad at me for being male. maybe she will warm up in a couple of months.
I may start sleeping in the hen house soon.
remember this is still a DEAR SNAGLEY site until tuesday and need to give advise so ask away.

Snagley out

I have decided to open an advise collum.
Ann Landers and Dear Abbey are old and lame. so Ask Snagley is the wave of the future.
well....
Go ahead.....
Ask......
hurry it up.

Snagley out.

The hypotenuse of a right triangle is the triangle's longest side, i.e., the side opposite the right angle. The word derives from the Greek hypo- ("under") and teinein ("to stretch").

Pythagorean Theorem In algebraic terms, a2 + b2 = c2 where c is the hypotenuse while a and b are the sides of the triangle.

A = 6
B = 8

6 squared + 8 Squared = C squared
6 squared = 36
8 squared = 64

36 + 64 = 100

C = 10

The Hypotenuse is 10

Slow day no real news here.
Went to the Zoo yesterday. Kids had a blast.
I saw a buffalo that bore a striking resemblance to Chuck.
Nothing else happened. My second son turns 6 tomorrow, party today.

In the lack of any creative release this is another ASK SNAGLEY post.
Ask away.
Any requests for future posts are welcome.
Snagley out.

First off I don’t believe in Karma. I have seen to many crooked S.O.B jerk-wads get rich and successful by screwing over honest hard working people, then live a happy life, to believe in karma. Plus we Presbyterians don’t put a lot of store by eastern philosophies. (No hate e-mails please)
But I started thinking about this show My Name is Earl. What would my list look like? So I thought I would write down my top 5 I would like to make right.

1. When I was dating my wife. She started telling me about one of her passions British royal history. I have absolutely no interest in this topic, she was talking about it with such passion that I could not tell her to stop. So I got one of my friends to hold the receiver and say “Uh huh” ever so often while I went for a bathroom break and got a cold drink. Foolishly I told her about it years latter and she is still hurt by it.
2. When I was 19 years old in trade school, I gave a recovering alcoholic a ride home. We called him Bird Dog he was in his late 50s early 60s but looked like he was much older. He liked a brand of Liquor called bird dog. He got a check from vocational rehabilitation and asked me to stop at a store to get it cashed. I stopped at a grocery store. He went next door to a liquor store and bought 2 fifths of Jim Bean. I should not have stopped at a store so close to the liquor store but I did. He got drunk off of his butt and passed out in barn, a cow stepped on his hand, and crushed the bones in his hand.
3. I did not ask my wife’s parents if I could marry their daughter. It did not occur to me. They have held it against me for 11 years. All I can say is lack of training. Nobody told me how important it was to show them that kind of respect.
4. I would like to go back and apologize to about 15 girls for my freshman year in college.
5. In college one of my better friends got engaged to a girl that none of us liked. We went to his dorm room and got him, we stripped him to his underwear and covered him with shaving cream. We put a ring of duct tape on his upper thighs and turned him loose on the other side of the city and let him walk back. This was customary at the time but I still regret that I was involved.

When I was on the farm as a kid there was a Wino named Jack who worked with us. He was born in the house he lived in and had never ventured out of the county. He was a fun loving nut, but he could not shake alcohol.
One day Mr. Mack Harper had gone down to the Gulf of Mexico and been fishing. He came back with an icebox full of flounder. When I got to the barn he was cleaning them. I walked over and began to talk and cut up with him, as was our custom early in the morning. Then Jack walked over. He looked at those flounder and then at Mr. Harper. He said Mr. Mack where did you get those fish. Mr. Mack said, “Jack I went fishing up there behind the Browns Ferry nuclear power plant. We caught these fish up there. Jack looked at those flounder, flounder have their eyes on the same side of their head and they look odd. He said Mr. Mack I don’t believe I would eat those fish if I was you, they don’t look quite right”. Then he went off shaking his head and muttering to his self about anyone crazy enough to fish at a nuclear power plant. I don’t know if anyone ever told him what a flounder was or not, but he never did eat one of those nuclear fish.

Someone asked if My Name is Earl could be real. Of course it could be real. It sounds like a documentary to me. I know many people that if I could roll them into one person would be Earl Hickey.

1. I know a guy that got married on the front porch of his 17-year-old singlewide trailer. During the ceremony he kicked a beagle off of the porch sending it howling into the woods.
2. I know another guy that painted all of his possessions red. Guns, tools, anything of value. His thought was no one would want t steal a browning shotgun that was spray painted red.
3. I know a guy that put a chicken coop in his back yard (oh dang that’s me)
4. I know a guy that once picked up a dead deer up off the side of the road took it home and ate it.
5. I know an old man who has mounted a 50-caliber BMG sniper rifle on his back porch overlooking his 750-acre hay field. He now refers to his back porch as his deer stand.
6. I once saw two guys fight to the point of hospitalization and arrest over the memory of Bear Bryant.
7. I know a guy that took a 1971 pea green pinto and put a Chevy 350 in it he was clocked by the cops going 155.
8. I once saw two girls argue until they had to be broken apart by their mothers over whether or not it was appropriate to flash your boobs without duct tape over your nipples.
9. At the hospital once while waiting for my father to come out of surgery I over heard a man tell his son that Goodie powders and a band-aid will cure the bite of a brown recluse spider.

I could go on and on and on.
any of you know someone like this.

this will be a hen house at some point. I asked Chuck to bring his credit card and help but he as thus far declined. "Some friend huh"
latter i will post the after version.

Dont forget to watch MY NAME IS EARL tonight before the office.

Snagley out.

For any of you who did not know, this is a Chicken.
Snagley Out.