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Monday, October 10, 2005 

My name could still be Earl

First off I don’t believe in Karma. I have seen to many crooked S.O.B jerk-wads get rich and successful by screwing over honest hard working people, then live a happy life, to believe in karma. Plus we Presbyterians don’t put a lot of store by eastern philosophies. (No hate e-mails please)
But I started thinking about this show My Name is Earl. What would my list look like? So I thought I would write down my top 5 I would like to make right.

1. When I was dating my wife. She started telling me about one of her passions British royal history. I have absolutely no interest in this topic, she was talking about it with such passion that I could not tell her to stop. So I got one of my friends to hold the receiver and say “Uh huh” ever so often while I went for a bathroom break and got a cold drink. Foolishly I told her about it years latter and she is still hurt by it.
2. When I was 19 years old in trade school, I gave a recovering alcoholic a ride home. We called him Bird Dog he was in his late 50s early 60s but looked like he was much older. He liked a brand of Liquor called bird dog. He got a check from vocational rehabilitation and asked me to stop at a store to get it cashed. I stopped at a grocery store. He went next door to a liquor store and bought 2 fifths of Jim Bean. I should not have stopped at a store so close to the liquor store but I did. He got drunk off of his butt and passed out in barn, a cow stepped on his hand, and crushed the bones in his hand.
3. I did not ask my wife’s parents if I could marry their daughter. It did not occur to me. They have held it against me for 11 years. All I can say is lack of training. Nobody told me how important it was to show them that kind of respect.
4. I would like to go back and apologize to about 15 girls for my freshman year in college.
5. In college one of my better friends got engaged to a girl that none of us liked. We went to his dorm room and got him, we stripped him to his underwear and covered him with shaving cream. We put a ring of duct tape on his upper thighs and turned him loose on the other side of the city and let him walk back. This was customary at the time but I still regret that I was involved.