Wednesday, August 29, 2007 

What do you think

Well I reread my most recent post and it made me look like Mother Theresa. Or Pappa Snagley.

Sorry. I ain’t

My family member who we will call Winifred is pregnant. She is 19 and lives with her parents. The babies father is in jail for stealing copper. He has had so many drug offences that they made bail fairly high, so he will sit there till his trial. She has quit her job at the Win Dixie bakery because it is too hard. In her parent’s house live 2 cats and 4 dogs, none of which are what you would loosely term house broken.
I asked her what her plans are and here are her responses.

Snagley: So what are you going to do?

Winifred: I am going to be a stay at home mom.

Snagley: How do you plan to fund this endeavor?

Winifred: Oh Daddy is going to sue the sperm donor and make him be responsible for what he has done

Snagley: I see, I see. You do realize that he is in jail and that the most he has ever made is 15000 in one year. Never sue poor people. He ain’t got nothing to sue for.

Winifred: Yeah but he did this to me and he has got to pay me something.

Snagley: You do realize that you did play some part in this impregnation. As I understand it your girlie parts had to be present, willingly, without protection in order for this merging of fluids to take place. Or do you not know where babies come from.

Winifred: Yeah, but he has to pay something.

Snagley: I have a young lady at my office whose ex-husband pays her a total of 40 dollars a week. So I am a little unsure where the 1000.00 a month figure comes from. And where exactly are you planning on living

Winifred: Daddy said a thousand a month. And I am going to live with mom and daddy.

Snagley: I see and where do you plan to put the baby.

Winifred: Oh it will stay with me.

Snagley: Among the cats and dogs?

Winifred: yes I love animals.

Snagley: I see.


I give up gentle readers. I tried to get her a job.
Her parents have no freaking clue as to what to do with her.

Am i being too judgemental? please be honest

if this were an mature women who was making some plans for her and her child i could get behind that.

I get the feeling that she thinks she won the lottery and this baby is her ticket.

But, I am concerned about her ability to care for the baby as well. I will post that conversation latter.

The saga will continue.

Snagley out.

Friday, August 24, 2007 

in other news

Last weekend i went snake hunting.
On the hunting land me and some friends lease there is a creek that wanders through it. and it is full of cotton mouths.
So me and another idiot put on some rubber boots and waded the overgrown creek looking to shoot some snakes.
I can honestly say that if you could have seen some of the places we waded into ,beaver dams, log jams, muck, mire some of the snakiest places I have ever seen you would have had a stroke. We saw a bunch of snakes and turtles and deer etc but I ended the wretched lives of no snakes.
I did wear myself completely out.

in other news.
I am walking down the street and i see a twenty dollar bill on the ground. No one is around and it is a deserted street. no buildings etc. I walk about a mile further with the 20 and see a guy in an advanced stage of poverty. He was dragging a little red wagon with 3 wheels. He had a shaggy beard.

I nodded said hello and handed him the 20.
He said thanks and we started talking.
He is 10 years younger than i.
He is a combat veteran from Iraq.
He came home and found his wife with another man. They split and she took everything of value, which he said was very little.
His parents died years ago and he is an only child.
Needless to say he had no job.
he does however have a college degree in business administration from Auburn University.
He said after the divorce he just started walking and has been ever since.
3 years of walking.

I ended up driving him to the Jimmy Hale Mission and getting him setup with some decent clothes so he can get a job interview.
The guy does not drink and does not use drugs (he was tested for drugs).
He said he just did not know what to do and did not know how to start.
The guy at the mission told me that if he really wants some help he will get it.
He said he can have a bed till he can get an apartment. there are some in south side that are cheap.
I hope this guy gets it together. I ended up giving him some more money. (I am a soft touch. I have been broke with no food)
He was a nice guy. After a shave and a haircut he looked like a any 30 year old guy just skinnier and more worn.
life does have a way of beating us down doesn't it.

In yet other news.
I am only getting 4 to 7 eggs a day now 104 degree heat will do that to a feathered animal

And in yet other news.
I am seriously thinking of adopting a kid. I may end up adopting internationally.
I know some of you think i am nuts for wanting a big family. but so what. Its my life, damn it, my kids are pretty well adjusted. and i think that some baby in a foreign country whos future consists of either slavery, forced prostitution or death,. might just not mind living in rural alabama with 4 other kids, and a bunch of chickens.

SNagley out.

Labels:

Wednesday, August 22, 2007 

survey

*** THE EVERYTHING TEST ***

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.


Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)



PERSONALITY
You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are religious (93%), romantic (71%), intellectual (70%), horny (58%).

STEREOTYPES
Young Professional (80%)
College Student (73%)
Old Geezer (67%)


LIFE EXPERIENCE
Sex (40%)
Substances (5%)
Travel (29%)


POLITICS
Your political views would best be described as Conservative, whom
you agree with around 71% of the time.

SOCIOECONOMIC
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Lower Middle Class.
You make more than 93% of those who have taken this test,
and 35% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 74%, hotter than 90% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
http://www.thatsurveysite.net/take.php?id=eay

Powered by ThatSurveySite - http://www.thatsurveysite.net

 

Plum Pulp

Recently i ate a plum.

a store bought plum, i am more in favor of the wild ones that grow in the back pasture.
anyway, i got plum pulp stuck in between my front teeth.

I was having one of my fits, mulling over pulling one of the teeth to get the pulp out, as i was quickly being driven crazy by the offending pulp, when i spotted the scotch tape on my desk.

I whipped out a 4 inch section and used it as floss.

Now my question to you is. Should i seek counseling or is this normal behavior.

my second question is. What is scotch tape adhesive made from, i am hoping it is not fish intestines or Barbara Streisand spittle or something equally offensive.


Snagley out.

Friday, August 17, 2007 

happy anaversary

I have been married to my wife for 13 years now we had our anniversary last week. A young friend asked me what advise I had for him on his impending marriage. I wont share that with you, as I don’t provide unsolicited advice anymore.
Your welcome.
I love my wife, we have had some rocky times but don’t we all. My desire is to spend more time with her.
My folks have been married 67 years. if we make it that long I will be 94 and most likely when I am 94 I will be dead.
But I would love to spend 67 years with her.


Theres something in the way she moves,
Or looks my way, or calls my name,
That seems to leave this troubled world behind.
If I'm feeling down and blue,
Or troubled by some foolish game,
She always seems to make me change my mind.

and I feel fine anytime shes around me now,
Shes around me now
Almost all the time.
and if I'm well you can tell that shes been with me now,
and shes been with me now
Quite a long, long time
And I feel fine

Let it be a long long time, for sometimes lifetimes are just too short.


oh yeah, Bo Snagley likes James Taylor too.


Snagley Out

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 

What now.

what should i post on.
and why.

this is also an ask Snagley post.
so ask me a question, i will answer it honestly.

in the past i have answered questions on quantum physics, buttermilk, goat droppings, and my choice of underpants.

Snagley out.

Monday, August 13, 2007 

Belch

BUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPP!!


Excuse Me!

Friday, August 03, 2007 

withdrawn

I spoke to my afore blogged rooster last night.
I am afraid that i threw his proverbial hat into the ring without contacting him first.
he has indicated that the stresses of public office and the paparazzi trailing him and his harem of hens would distract him from his duties as head rooster at historic and scenic Snagley Acres.

I apologise for my rant.
I am, however frustrated by the state of our politicians in this country at present.

Maybe a rooster as president is not the best solution.

In the mean time I think i will jsut plant some turnip greens and call it a day.

I will be going out of town again next week.

Snagley out.

Thursday, August 02, 2007 

rusty butt for presdent

This is a chicken gentle readers.

The one in the center is a rooster. (male chicken for you city folk){it doesn't lay eggs}

that handsome svelte shadow happens to belong to me farmer snagley.



I have a family member in law working for me now.

Previously he was about as useful as boobages on a boar hog.

but he seems to be working out somewhat.



In other news. I have decided to throw this roosters hat into the presidential ring.

He seems to have the qualities that voters look for. He breeds prolifically with 16 hens. and he makes no sense at any time.



Our current candidates Hillary and obama currently only have one thing on this rooster that may appeal more to voters.

My Rooster "Rusty Butt" has a name that does not exactly inspire confidence. I am considering changing his name to Clueless Power-Hungry McCrooked.

If anyone has any doubt that any current candidate including and excluding Hillary and obama are not crooked. When i say crooked i mean they don't care about the people of this country beyond getting elected. Both of the aforementioned candidates will tax our broke butts off and then redistribute it to their special interest groups causes. if you think otherwise then pull your head out of the sand.

IF all a candidate can say is i am not as big of a horses hind end as my esteemed opponent then find someone else to vote for. and good luck with that.

Anyone who has enough intelligent is too smart to run for office. anyone who has enough integrity to be president does not want to sully themselves by association.

and what amazes me is that people just flock to these idiots as if they have the answers.
Let me set all who can read straight. your choices this next election are diarrhea and hemorrhoids.
any choice you dont want and you can bet they will be a pain in the butt.

So lets save us all some trouble this year and vote for a oversexed rooster. I guarantee he wont raise taxes. he may make a mess of the oval office but if we cover the floor with straw everything will be ok.

Rusty Butt for President