Monday, April 30, 2007 

down and out

I have recently found myself posting about annual toothpaste usage in the united states.

I think i am loosing it.

I am unsure of how to proceed from this point.

I enjoy blogging but i also despise putting out toothpaste usage trivia.

I used to enjoy posting a story that i considered funny. but they aren't funny anymore.
suggestions welcome
Snagley out.

The below is for Cake Lady

How i hurt my head
Part Two

How i got my name

Thursday, April 26, 2007 

Toothpaste useage in the US

This assumes that everyone brushes their teeth 4 times a day (with toothpaste) this includes bums on the street, people with no teeth, and my good buddy and college roomate Chuck.

Current Us population estimate July 2006

Toothpaste Weight in Ounces

ounces per use

Times brushed daily

Ounces daily

Pounds Daily

Tons Daily

Tons Weekly

Tons Annually

Pounds annually

Ounces Annually

Wednesday, April 25, 2007 

chickens, drawers, baseball and too tight pants.

I got up really early this morning to feed chickens and survey my domain. I did so in my underwear and rubber boots as is my practice. This particular morning, I was greeted by the neighbor lady wanting to buy some eggs. She commented that she liked my boxer briefs. She bought 18 eggs and was on her way. What is this world coming to when you cant feed the chickens in your drawers? I may need to think about moving further out into the country.

In other news, The company I work for took us all to a minor league baseball game last week. Part of the deal was that some representative from the company had to throw out the first pitch. As you would guess, Bo Snagley drew the short straw, and threw that sucker out.

I had to go to the souvenir stand and they took me to the underside of the park. There I met the other 6 people who would throw out first pitches. There was some kid having his 10th birthday, me, some girl who was wearing pants that were way too tight, giving us all a glimpse into a world that would be better left unknown, a 6 year old cancer survivor and three other boys who played baseball for Dixie youth.

The major danger of throwing out the first pitch for an adult is not making it to the catcher. The 10 year old did just fine. I managed a fine wind up and threw a soft strike. The girl in the too tight pants threw it high and tight. The cancer survivor made it about 4 feet but the stands went wild, as they should. The other three kids tried to break the fingers of the catcher.

I did not take much out of this experience other than the cancer survivor should have been up there by her self. The 10 year old should have been in the stands with a new hat and cake on his face. The girl in the too tight pants should put on some underpants quickly, Ladies please if you wear pants that are too low and too tight, I personally don’t want to see either panties or butt crack or any other creases or crevices, try out for the pussycat dolls instead. The other three kids should have been in the bullpen. And lastly, Bo Snagley should have had a cool beer and a side of nachos.

Snagley out


Friday, April 20, 2007 

soft snow

Soft Alabama snow.
The snow in Alabama is soft and wet. Please no sexual comparisons this is a family blog.
The snow up north is like sand compared to Alabama snow.
My sister lives in Pennsylvania, she did live in Maine. She told me she had to carry a snow shovel around in her car. She would bring it into work every day so that she would be able to dig her car out of the snow every evening. To this I say, egad.

Snow has not accumulated in Birmingham in over 5 years. When I was a kid it snowed every year. In the early 90s it snowed a foot and a half. This happened one earlier 100 years prior, which is about right.

I remember one good snow in college when we got 9 inches. There were awesome drifts up to 3 feet. We all went out late at night to play in it. I was dating a rather nice girl at the time, and I hit her in the face with a 12-pound snowball. Latter I was standing under a cedar tree which she shook unloading half a ton of snow on me almost burying me. It was great.

I once built a snow cave consisting of 15 square bails and a large canvas tarp covered with snow. I attempted to sleep in the cave, but a skunk seeking shelter invaded it. A brief battle ensued, the skunk and I in hand to gland combat, neither the skunk or I won. I had to bathe in tomato juice on the porch in 30-degree weather. The skunk headed out for parts unknown to sleep elsewhere. This was the start of the school term where I was taught from a desk outside the window at the school. Gratefully, they left the window cracked and the teacher handed my assignments out the window. Ah the life of a country school boy.

When I was a kid we went to cedar town Ga. We had a great snow and a 4-acre farm pond froze over. The ice was over 5 inches thick we could walk on the pond; this is a rarity in the southern United States. My sister and I lit fireworks on the ice on a cold 5-degree day; years before she became estranged from the rest of my family, I miss her.

I can remember the coat I was wearing the shoes the pants the hat. I remember feeling close to my sister thinking that we will always be friends. We were in our teens and I had stopped thinking of her as a giant pimple on my butt. I guess we are friends but I only see her alternating leap years now.
Oh wont you come home sister snagley

Oh and chickens hate snow.
Snagley out


Tuesday, April 17, 2007 

I am sorry

Sorry guys, i got nothing but this today.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 

No news is good news

I thought i would post on some of the current events
or Al Sharpton
or Anna Nicole smiths baby
or some such tripe.
but i got to thinking about it, and threw the heck up.
Now, i am taking a sick day.
Snagley out.

Stay away from the news, i think a 24 hour Mork and Mindy film festival would be better


Friday, April 06, 2007 

Poop on the windshield

last night in my blissful slumber, a mandrill baboon emptied the contents of his bowels onto the windshield of my new used pick up truck.
It was either that or a very well fed California condor that was perched on the power lines above my defiled windshield.
I had to use a shovel and a 5 gallon bucket to clean it up. It was quite alarming.
It could not possibly have been one of the gentile songbirds that i feed sunflower seeds to, at a great personal cost, they appreciate me too much.

that and my furnace quit so i had to get up in the wee hours of the morn to fix it.
Luckily i worked for 5 years as a hvac mechanic.

in other news the hair on my arms seems to be growing at an alarming rate.

Snagley out.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007 

Well it is poison oak season here in Alabama.
My son gets poison oak by being in the same proximity.
and my other son is immune.
During the summer son 2 cannot get in the woods at all and son 1 can roll around in the stuff.

I got nothing funny to say today. I am tired and irritable.
I am having body aches i am so tired.
I feel like slapping someone for breathing too loud.
but since i am such a fine upstanding young man i shan't.

I built a raised bed garden as an annex to the other garden, for peppers and lettuce etc. I used 6 railroad cross ties and 3000 pounds of topsoil.
but now my wife has a place to grow her herbs ect.

thats all i got. snagley out