Wednesday, January 31, 2007 

What's Up With Snagley...

Hey folks, this is Chuck. You may have read about me here on Snag's blog from time to time. Bo wanted me to post here and let you people know what's going on with him....

This past Saturday afternoon he and his oldest son were involved in a traffic accident. His son walked away without a scratch, luckily, but old Snag didn't have it so good. He spent a night in the hospital and has 40 stitches in his head and also had a major concussion. Mrs. Snagley called me Monday and filled me in, and Snag called me this afternoon to give me more of the details. I tell you folks, he's pretty bad off. I could tell he is in terrible pain just from the sound of his voice. He hopes to be back to work, and therefore back to blogging, sometime next week.

Y'all keep him in your thoughts and prayers and let's hope he'll have a speedy recovery. He'll fill us all in on all the details when he gets back.

Friday, January 26, 2007 

Pinewood derby

I have the pinewood derby this weekend.
I now have two boys involved. Each has a car. Then my daughter who is 5 and I made one for her for the open division. Then I, of course, made one for the purpose of showing everyone up. It looks like a 69 jaguar with 9 coats of silver paint and flames on the hood.
It weighs about twice the cubs weight limit of 5oz. The open division is for parents and siblings we can soup up the cars and cheat and all that. We do this so the dads will let the kids build the cars and the dads can get their competitive urges out and the kids wont freaked out when their opponents car sets the track on fire.

When I was a kid I worked on my car for days. I carved it, sanded it, painted it, mounted the wheels and all that junk. It was as slow as an iron toad. When the day came I imagined it winning the whole deal and it barely made it off the track. So, I make sure that all the kids have fast cars. Especially the kids of single moms.

There is one kid whose Dad abandoned them, the asshole left one day and never calls or makes any contact with his two boys, monetarily or otherwise. The mom wants her boys around men so I gave them a scholarship them into the cub scouts. She is clueless about things like pinewood derby cars, so I am trying to make sure he has a good time and has a car that makes it to the end of the track.

One dad is a graphic artist and has carved his sons car with a dremmell. His kids don’t even know which car is theirs. I make my kids do the entire deal. But I help them tweak them so they will go fast..
I will post some pics form the derby next week so you can see what happens.

In other news
No deer yet this season. This weekend is it. The season ends at the end of the month. So those of you rooting for the deer are almost home free.

Monday, January 22, 2007 

another year another ache and pain

Well its been another year.
I have been blogging for 3 years now.
I read some of my old stuff this weekend. I used to be funny.
Anyway, I would like to now take a survey of what people like/dislike about this blog.
You wont hurt my feelings if you blast me, I want some feedback.
I also would like some recommendations about what you would like to see, read about in the coming year.

I have to admit that it keeps getting harder and harder to come up with something that i think is interesting. I delete many posts before i publish them, because i think they are lame.
some times I just write about what is going on. Sometimes i write about my childhood.

I started blogging as a joke on my old college roomate Chuck. He stopped blogging recently and is currently receiving mail in a new mailbox that my Dad and I built.

Oh and you lurkers please drop in and say hello

Snagley out.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 

why rural alabama

A friend of mine calls me and tells me that his Son is on his way over to my house to play the burning sack of crap prank on me.

For those of you not in the know this is where you take a paper bag, fill it with poop of any origin, put it on the doorstep of the hapless victim, light it, bang on the door and run. The victim sees the sack thinks "oh i will stomp on it" and gets poop all over their shoes. It was a favorite of mine in my misspent youth. Sven was telling his son about our misspent youth and Jr could not get past this one.

He was letting me know so I could scare the bejeebers out of his son and his friend.
I loaded my shotgun with 6 rounds of 12 gage paper wad blanks and go out to wait in the dark.

A little background. His son Sven Jr. is 16 years old and believes he is the coolest creature in the entire world. He has a driver’s license and his moms ride. He has a girl friend with big boobs, and fake blond hair whose nickname is Keekee. He has a best friend that everyone calls Conch, because he carries a conch shell in his car and blows it whenever he arrives anywhere. He spends about an hour in the morning making his hair look like he slept on the sofa. And he loves to try to play practical jokes on me. His Dad spends his time ratting him out and laughing at his adventures.

Me sitting in the dark

Sven: Ssshhhh you got the sack

Conch: Yeah here

Sven: This is gonna be great. Here you hold the sack while I take a dump.

Me Goorf snerts (stifled laughter)

Conch: I aint holding no sack while you shit in it.

Sven: Come on man just hold the sack

Conch: Hell no man put it on the ground.

Sven: Why didn’t we poop in it before we came, you idiot why didn’t you say something?

Conch: I thought that you would use cow or dog crap not human, why do I have to do everything.

Sven: don’t look I am going to take a dump in this sack we cant go back without doing anything Dad will call us wusses.

Conch: I don’t want to look, what am I a butt looker. You got any TP.

Sven: No go look in the car and get me some napkins

Conch: No man it’s a mile down the road. Just use some grass

Sven: oh my god. This is freaking ridiculous. I am gonna do it back up.


ME: (Booom Booom Booom Booom) 4 shots light up the night, I am shooting into the air. Chaos is reigning. Sven is running across my yard with his drawers around his ankles. They are both crying and screaming out into the night. Conch is cursing at the top of his lungs.
Its great.

I call Sven Sr. and tell him the story. He is laughing so hard he cannot breath. He heard the shots and assumed it was me. I can hear Jr. peeling out down the road in his Mommas car.

Me: Tell Sven Jr. that I said good night. He is headed that way now.
Sven Sr. Will do,, Thanks Snagley

I love rural Alabama

Monday, January 08, 2007 


The transmission on my Honda Odyssey minivan went out. The drive train is just out of warranty so I had to beg and plead, and promise to cut their grass for the next five years in a tank top, to get the part covered covered. I still have to pay the labor but they are paying for the part. If you have 4 kids and your other vehicle is a small pickup truck, a minivan is of extreme importance.

In other news, I am trying to hire someone to work for me. I keep getting people who tell me things like. “ I would like to find a job that will provide money for my drug addiction but not interfere with my Klingon language lessons. Or the classic quote, “I am sort of lazy and disorganized but I know it which is the first step in becoming better.

Oh folks if you are going for an interview. Check yourself before you come in. Ladies if you are wearing a pantsuit be sure your zipper is up. And if you have problems with your zipper please wear underpants. I had a lady come in with her zipper down and hair showing. Quite embarrassing for the both of us.

And lastly and I cant stress this enough people a shower and some deodorant will go a long way to impressing a potential boss. One guy smelled like a locker room. And coincidently this is a position that involves travel to customer sites. I cant send someone to a customer site that smells like a camel in heat.

Snagley out.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007 

I resolve

I resolve

1. Not to suck the pimentos out of martini olives and spit them in ashtrays.
2. Not to mail my accumulated 3 years of belly button lint to Hillary Clinton with a note involving abiding love.
3. To Hunt, Fish and cavort in the wilds as much as is humanly possible
4. To wear underwear, so as not to reveal my privates, when riding in limos with Paris, Britney and Lindsey.
5. To drink red wine at every opportunity. (For the antioxidants, yeah for the antioxidants)
6. To send Bill Gates a care package containing the toe nail clippings from a village of Kazak nomads who only use Macs.
7. To not get into disagreements with Donald Trump or Rosie O’Donnell. (They are both nuts)
8. To try not to impregnate my wife for at least 6 months. (It is difficult I am hung like a mule)
9. To convince Jesse Helms and Jesse Jackson to run together on an independent ticket for the 2008 presidential elections. Run Jesse run.
10. To run naked in the sweet dew of the morning.

I figure i have about as much a chance at keeping these as keeping any resolutions.

Snagley out.