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Wednesday, September 05, 2007 

If I could i would

If I could I would
If I had the time I would

1. Quit my job in favor of one that allows me more time with my family.
2. Adopt some more kids.
3. Fence in my pasture and raise more animals
4. Tear down my barn and build another one.
5. Take a weeks vacation for each of my kids.
6. Slap my wife on the butt and call her baby. (Ok, well I am doing that one)
7. Make it mandatory that anyone graduating from college works a labor job for one year.
8. Make my own wine.
9. Grow a beard like those guys in ZZTOP or maybe like Jeremiah Johnson
10. Rent a dump truck and a front-end loader for a weekend to get rid of some old farm stuff at my place.
11. Learn Greek and Latin. (I start this one every couple of years)
12. Twist again like we did last summer
13. Put a billion dollar prize for the first company to come out with a safe cigarette.
14. Do cub scouts as a full time job.
15. Run naked in the sweet dew of the morning,
16. Invent some comfortable underwear
17. Build a new compost bin.
18. Syndicate my Ask Snagley into newspapers worldwide.
19. Collect all of my toenail clippings for the next 20 years and use them to construct a monument in the likeness of Larry, Moe, and Curley in Washington DC as a tribute to the great thinkers housed therein.
20. Come up with some viable alternatives to Middle Eastern oil, and then fart in their general direction.
21. Work in an orphanage a couple of days a week and rock the kids in a big rocking chair and sing to them.
22. Tinkle on Chucks flower garden
23. Drag my sorry hind end back to college and finish.
24. Buy a bass boat.
25. boogaloo