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Wednesday, November 02, 2005 

Asleep in a cave and other activities

Slept in a cave. Yup I did.
Loads of fun this cave sleeping. I did it with 14 cub scouts. Yup in a cave.
The kids loved it. We got to go in and get a special tour. It was a cool tour we got a laser light show and this girl showed us the entire place. Then she took us to the bottom of the cave and said ok this is where you sleep, don’t litter I will be back at 6:30 to take you to breakfast. Cub Leader Snagley said “be sure there is lots of coffee”.

We spread out and started setting up our sleeping stuff. I had to work late so I asked my wife to pack sleeping bags and such. She packed my normal bag for son #1 and packed my artic bag (the artic bag is rated at 20 degrees below 0) for me. If you have never been in a cave it is profoundly humid and the temp stays at 63 degrees an artic sleeping bag would make for a miserable night. The cubs played hid and seek which was all right. Each cub was required to bring along a parent or guardian so Cub leader Snagley did not have to baby-sit all of the kids. The kids were quickly covered with a thick layer of sweat and true to their natures they stunk like a skunks butt. One of the dads offered to have devotion so we did that and went to bed. Cub Leader Snagley said lights out and turned off the lights. 14 different flash lights clicked on. It was pretty cool, and again the kids were having a blast. Then night sleep started. Cub Leader Snagley was sleeping on a cot with no cover. Cub Leader Snagley could not sleep.

In caves water constantly drips. We all had spread out tarps to keep us off the wet floor. The water dripping on the tarps went BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP. Cub Leader Snagley’s nerves began to fray.

Then the snoring began. One of the dads must have one of those deviated septum things, he began to shake the stalactites. Seriously I could not believe the noise coming out of the guy. I went over to check him out. He had built this tarp roof to keep the BLOOPS off of him. Cub Leader Second Class Huggcliff came over to me and said something has to be done. I went out to the truck and got a funnel. One of those that has the thing on the bottom that you can bend. I rigged it at the top of his tarp so that it would collect water and pointed the bottom part of the funnel at his face. The dude never woke up the entire time I duct taped the funnel to his tarp. Then Huggcliff and I pulled up some chairs to watch and see what happened. We were taking bets on what would happen and eating sunflower seeds and trying not to laugh out loud.

After several BLOOPS one made it though the funnel and onto his face just south of his bottom lip. Nothing happened, he did not even make a change in his snoring. I now owe Cub Leader Second Class Huggcliff a dollar. I go back out to the truck and get a garden hose and cut off a section of it and duct tape it to the funnel put the other end just above his mouth. Then sit down to wait. Cub Leader Second Class Huggcliff and I make our bets. Our actions have drawn the attention of several other Cub Leaders Second Class we all place our bets and then after about 10 BLOOPS a drop finds its way to the funnel to the hose and to his face. Direct hit in his mouth. He gags snorts and blows but never wakes up. I collect 6 dollars from the Cub Leaders Second Class, gloat and then settle down for further bets. After I clean them all out we turn in and go to sleep.

About 5:00 in the morning I am awoken to a loud GAG, SNORT WHEEZE AND BLOW. Several cubs woke up and saw the chairs we set up around Snore Dad and the contraption connection to Snore Dads shelter. They all are sitting around while Snore Dads son pours Grape Soda down the funnel. Snore Dad never wakes up. We videotaped it for posterity.
From there the rest of the trip was fun but not as eventful. The moral of this story is.

Don’t trust your kids.

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