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Wednesday, January 09, 2008 

its official i am a bad person

OK here is my dilemma.
I like to think of my self as a giving generous person. I have just discovered that I am actually a bad person.

I have actually known it all along but it was verified on Christmas.
My side of the family draws names for Christmas. Its pretty much the only present I get so I look forward to it. We all try to be creative and think of the person as much as possible to get something that matches their personality. Last year I got a cool hunting jacket.

I opened my present this year and found that a donation was made in my name to my favorite charity. It reminded me of the episode of Seinfeld where a donation was made in your name to the human fund, a fictitious charity. But this one was real.

Now I was glad and all that,it is a good charity, but when I found out that I personally was not getting some stuff, I was disappointed. I wanted some stuff. Thus the dilemma and guilt.

So now that it is official that I am a bad person I invite each of you to point out further flaws in my character.

Such as

o I find most people annoying. There it is I said it. Most people really annoy me. Its not their fault I just have little patience for most people

o I spit a lot. My wife pointed this out as I took her on a date not long ago and spit on a bush outside of a Japanese restaurant. Did not even know I did it.

o I want both Alabama and Auburn to loose every game including the ones they play against each other. If I say this aloud someone might paint nasty sayings on my house, and heckle my wife and kids as they buy groceries.

o I eat peas with my knife.
o I eat peanut butter from the jar with a spoon
o I pick the lint from my navel while watching TV.
o Etc

As a bad person the pressure is now off I can be bad with impunity. I may now clip my toenails on my front porch, or dare I say wear my underwear on the outside of my pants.
The skys the limit.

Snagley out.