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Friday, December 28, 2007 

I resolve

I resolve

I for the year of 2008 do resolve

To loose 25 pounds, granted it may be 25 pounds of rocks that I loose by skipping them into a lake but 25 pounds lost nonetheless.

Purchase some new underpants for myself. They will be boxer briefs and boxer shorts size 36 extra hung. They will have pictures of cartoon characters or smiley faces.

Do something nice.

Lobby for a constitutional amendment outlawing single ply toilet paper.

Jump down, turn around, and pick a bale of cotton.

Not get any of my personal skinnage caught in my zipper.

Tear down, and haul off, my fallen down barn. Anybody out there want to tear down my barn?

Pay Chuck’s wife to shave the University of Florida logo into the hair on Chucks back while he sleeps.

Go fishing

Collect my toe lint and use it to create a nice macramé hammock.

Take the family on a vacation to an undisclosed location that is quiet and slow, like me.

Purchase a new Jimmy Buffett Cd my last one was lost in the wreck of last year. It shall be “Songs you know by heart”

Ride a bike.

Get a shirt made that says, (Snagley for President, he cant be worse than the rest) and wear it to a caucus.

Write a letter to Britney Spears, using octopus ink, offering to let her spend the summer with the Snagleys and teach her some southern manners and some sense. She will be required to wear white cotton granny panties and long loose fitting pants with her navel unexposed at all times. She will also be asked to not be crazier that an outhouse rat. I am unsure that she will be able to do any of these things.

Adopt some kids. I found out I that my best bet is to adopt siblings groups if I intend to adopt locally.

Send the kids and Britney away for the weekend and run around the house with Mrs Snagley smooching and loving.

Get my Dad a load of firewood.

Skinny dip.

That’s about it. Snagley out.