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Saturday, December 01, 2007 


Oh my.

I am not telling any news today, I might latter, then again who knows what I may do.

Today gentle readers we are discussing a topic near and dear to my heart, my kids.

I do not post their real names because I don’t trust the Internet.
So I shall refer to them as Billy Bob, Mud Cat and Goosey.

Billy Bob is my oldest son. 9 years old and he is smart to a fault. He loves to read. He is writing a book. He loves the cub scouts and he loves me. He is a daddy’s boy. I love him dearly.
He is turning goofy, I mean really goofy. But if you can’t be goofy at 9 when can you.
He wanted to have an x-box so I told him to save his money and buy one. He did.
I pay him to do chores around the house. Like I would give him 25 cents to clean the back yard. He raised enough money to buy an x-box off eBay 25 cents at a time.

Mud Cat is my second son. He is a mess. I love him dearly. He prefers to be dirty; he has no time for things like putting his clothes on correctly. I have seen him with both shoes on the wrong feet, without socks his shirt on inside out and backwards with his pants on backwards too. He simply does not have time to be bothered with this stuff.
At church he heard about an orphanage. He did not know that there were kids out there without parents. So he started collecting aluminum cans. He sells them and gives the money to the orphanage. Well when word got out that a little 7-year-old boy was collecting cans and giving all the money to orphans, people started giving him cans from all over the place. 50-gallon drum liners full of cans start showing up all over my yard. Neither his mother nor I had anything to do with this. He did it on his own. As a matter of fact we did not know why all these cans were around the house till we saw him bringing home another garbage bag full of them. If he sees them in the trash he says “dad look someone threw away 3 cents”. He also wanted to buy a 22 rifle. I said ok raise the money, it took him a little over a year to raise the 134.00. He got within 12 dollars once and cried for me to make up the difference but I didn’t, and now he has earned it himself. We took him shooting Saturday he had a blast. If you don’t approve of kids shooting guns, keep it to yourself.

Goosey is my daughter she is 6 and all girl. She wears dresses most days. She is very tall for her age. The doctors say she will be a tall adult 6 feet or so. She loves the Brady bunch and dolls. She also loves mud. If talking were an Olympic sport she could be the anchor leg of the relay team. She is also beautiful. She loves to play Simon says and usually I trick her. She is also convinced that she is the smartest person on the planet, that she is surrounded by hordes of dufas.

Of course I also have a 12-month-old baby. He does not care for me very much. But he will warm up eventually.

I want some more kids. We cant have any more so we are starting the adoption process. We are looking at international adoption, and may also look at local adoption of a sibling group. If you don’t like large families keep it to yourself. I am tired of hearing it.

Do you know that recently a woman came up to my wife in the grocery store and told her that she felt sorry for her that she has no time for herself. She actually said think of what you could do if you did not have all these children to take care of. My wife was so hurt, and shocked, that she could not think of a response. I would have told her and the horse she rode in on to partake in a particularly unsavory practice I shant speak of here.

My wife is talented and she could be writing books and poems. We spoke of this once and she took me into the kid’s rooms and told me
“ Bo, there are my books, my poems, and my short stories. These are the labors that I longed for and this is the story I want to leave behind.’

Snagley out