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Wednesday, September 12, 2007 

back to winifred

Snagaloo was a bust, it has been canceled because of lack of interest.

Ok back to Winifred.

Top 5 things that are grieving me for this baby.

1. I found out she has a drug use history.

2. Winifred has a GED and no plans on any further education

3. Winifred has never been responsible for her own well being much less a Childs.

4. No job ,,, I have tried in the past to help her get a job. There is a local University here in Birmingham that has a world-class hospital. The custodians get paid well and have insurance plus a chance for advancement and retirement etc. I told he to go apply. I told her I would go with her to apply. I told her I would drive her. She could even take classes there in the future should she decide to. I think that hearing me say drive downtown and apply for a job is overwhelming to her. I think I could say to her float in the air like a pink balloon and she would think of each as equally difficult.

5. The father is a drug addict who is currently in jail for stealing copper. He has had so many drug convictions that bail has been set rather high. He may be in jail for a long time.

I try to have a non-condemning stance on most things, for “there but for the grace of God go I”.
And believe me at 19 years old had a woman paid enough attention to me to allow it, I could have fathered a baby myself at that young age.
I am physically grieving for this baby.
Things happen and with most people, life comes along, and when it does there is no reason to give that person grief but to love them. That is what I am attempting to do with Winifred. However, I think that the needs of this child come first. I want this baby to be loved and get all the care and attention it can. I don’t believe that the baby will get that with Winifred. She still wants to be a little girl and do little girl things.

My heart wants to adopt the baby so badly that I am in pain and sleeplessness. My wife and I want this baby so badly, but we are torn about creating a family schism, and are unsure about all the drama that will come from the years of association with Winifred and her family.
I have not approached Winifred or her parents yet about this. I have found out all the information from lawyers as to the intricacies, and costs of private adoption.
I am a man of action, I am 40 now and will only live, at best, 40 more, and at worst I have about 19 seconds.
Life is to damn short to have any regrets,

Snagely out