Hi ho Bacon,
For those of you who have either never read me before, or live in a cave, I grew up on a farm.
We had cows, chickens, pigs, turkeys, ducks, even guineas but no horses. I used to beg my folks for a horse, or even a pony. The consensus among decision makers at the time was if an animal could not contribute in some way it had no place on our farm.
But my friends had horses. So I never stopped begging.
One day my folks were going to the livestock sale, I asked them to please try to buy me a Pony should an affordable one present itself. When they returned I said “ so where is my pony” Dad responded Here it is and a huge hog stepped down out of the truck. I can say that the hog cared about as much for being ridden as I cared for riding him, but ride him I did. I named him Bacon.
The first time I rode Bacon was quite memorable. I fashioned a bridle out of hay bailing twine. And some old leather straps that I found in the barn. I climbed atop the huge porker and gave him a kick. Boar Hogs do not like being sat upon, they like being kicked even less. Bacon proved to be perhaps the fastest hog in the county. He took off and tried to crush me on the side of his stall. Then he ran into the pasture and tried to hide in the blackberry brambles that grew along the barbed wire fence. I had since lost the bridle and was clinging to his ears with my hands and was doing some fascinating things with my feet to stay atop his wide back. Then Bacon headed back to the barn and screeched to a stop I slid forward dangling from Bacons bulbous head. I then fell into what can only be described as a hog mire.
I did not let this deter me from hog riding and in time would submit to being ridden after an hour or so of wrestling the bridle into him. I took quite a bit of kidding due to riding Bacon, mostly it was my pony riding friends who would make comments about Hog Wayne the smelly cowboy.
I never did get a horse. Which is just as well. I did have one of the rare joys of eating an adversary when Bacon was indeed bacon.
We had cows, chickens, pigs, turkeys, ducks, even guineas but no horses. I used to beg my folks for a horse, or even a pony. The consensus among decision makers at the time was if an animal could not contribute in some way it had no place on our farm.
But my friends had horses. So I never stopped begging.
One day my folks were going to the livestock sale, I asked them to please try to buy me a Pony should an affordable one present itself. When they returned I said “ so where is my pony” Dad responded Here it is and a huge hog stepped down out of the truck. I can say that the hog cared about as much for being ridden as I cared for riding him, but ride him I did. I named him Bacon.
The first time I rode Bacon was quite memorable. I fashioned a bridle out of hay bailing twine. And some old leather straps that I found in the barn. I climbed atop the huge porker and gave him a kick. Boar Hogs do not like being sat upon, they like being kicked even less. Bacon proved to be perhaps the fastest hog in the county. He took off and tried to crush me on the side of his stall. Then he ran into the pasture and tried to hide in the blackberry brambles that grew along the barbed wire fence. I had since lost the bridle and was clinging to his ears with my hands and was doing some fascinating things with my feet to stay atop his wide back. Then Bacon headed back to the barn and screeched to a stop I slid forward dangling from Bacons bulbous head. I then fell into what can only be described as a hog mire.
I did not let this deter me from hog riding and in time would submit to being ridden after an hour or so of wrestling the bridle into him. I took quite a bit of kidding due to riding Bacon, mostly it was my pony riding friends who would make comments about Hog Wayne the smelly cowboy.
I never did get a horse. Which is just as well. I did have one of the rare joys of eating an adversary when Bacon was indeed bacon.
