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Wednesday, August 09, 2006 

Snagley learns the truth

Another true post

I had a talk with my Dad the other day.
My Dad and I have always been sort of standoffish with each other. I don’t know why. I would do anything for him and he for me. He is not a person that shows a lot of emotion and when he does it pours and gushes, but it may be once every 5 years.
His father died before I was born, when he was 68. My Dad had never talked about him much other than to say that he had a horrible temper. I always thought my Dad had a bad temper and assumed it was like his fathers.

When my Dad was 4 it was the pit of the depression. They lived with my Dads uncle Lon. Uncle Lon and my Grandfather did not get along. They lived with each other in a duplex house due to the fact that they were both out of work and it was all either could afford. Uncle Lon was always talking down to my grandfather and on this day threw a hatchet at his head. A fight ensued and my grandfather beat him almost to death. He beat him down then kicked him in the head then stomped out his teeth. He left him almost dead. My father watched the entire event. At 85 years old his was almost shaking as he told me. He said a little fellow should not have to watch such a thing.
He grew up mortally afraid of his father. His father did not like him very much. My Dad thinks it is because he was the last child and might not have been wanted. But he was the subject of most of his father wrath. He had many split lips and bloody noses gifts from his father, gifts that his brother and sister never received.
He also told me that his father “ran around” on his mother. This means that he cheated on my grandmother. She was also the subject of lots of verbal abuse and likely physical abuse. He went on to tell me that this was the trend of his entire life and even in his late 60s my grandparents had to be separated for weeks at a time due to these arguments.

What surprises me about this story is not what a S.O.B my grandfather was, I never knew him. The real surprise is that my father has none of these traits.
My father is a deeply religious man. He has a temper but never hit me in anger that I can recall. He might have yelled a lot. And he loves my mother. They have been married for 66 years. They get on one another’s nerves a lot now, but frankly they get on my nerves sometimes too. When I was growing up I never heard them argue. Not once, ever.

I have always been taught not to allow anyone to be abused in my presence. I have been part of several fights to stop abusive situations. I never knew why it was until now.
This is a lot to digest.

Snagley out.