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Thursday, July 20, 2006 

mid life crisis

Chickens love their new annex to the coop. The rooster is terribly upset that he cannot get into the same pen as fuzzy britches.
The pregnancy is going well.

I had a birthday on the 9th and again did not receive a card. Even from my Mom and Dad, a new low.

I am 39 now and have decided to go ahead and have my midlife crisis, and get it out of the way.
Honestly I am starting to wonder where the first half of my life has gone. I have these longevity genes going for me but a friend of mine had a heart attack and died at 37. 37 is dang young these days.
I am taking stock of my life and what I am going to consider success.

If my kids are happy and loved
If my wife is happy and loved
Well that is about it.

Money is fleeting and possessions can and do all burn up.
Lotus Elise sports cars are bad to burn up engines.
We really have so little control over anything in life. Who we love, or don’t love, and how we do it, is really about all we can control if you think about it.

Oh and I am not talking about that warm rosy glow you get when you kiss for the first time.
I am talking about the holding their hair when they puke love, then cleaning up the barf off the wall after working 16 hours swinging a damn pick. The cleaning up poop love, the burying their dead dog love, and the holding them when they find out their grandmother dies love.

Hell, anyone can love their wife and kids when they are behaving and clean and neat with the air-conditioning running.

I am not saying I don’t screw it up and that I am capable of loving like that all the time.
But that is success, to me anyway, to love wel.

Now since I am having my mid life crisis this week, I am off to take test-drive a 2006 corvette. For the test drive, my name will be J.R Pennypacker wealthy industrialist, just in from an extended pearl diving trip in the orient.
Snagley out.