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Wednesday, July 26, 2006 

A scar story

Have you ever made the mistake of asking someone “hey how did you get that scar”. If they are like the people I find myself surrounded by, you just set yourself up for an afternoon of conversation, one-sided at that.
I was at the local feed and grain store near my home and was speaking to the old guy that I used to work with. His name is Slim. He lives in the feed store now in the back, he is in his 90s if you believe him. He has a nasty scar on his face, it stretches from the corner of his right eye to his lower lip, it has been their as long as I have known him, I had never asked him how he got it until Saturday.

He stays in the feed store that his grandson owns in a rocking chair. I went over to him and he gave me his usual greeting, he spit tobacco juice on my boot.
After the usual salutations I sat down with him and for some reason said, “Slim, how did you get that scar on your face”. When I said it his grandson moaned loudly and left the building. I swear Slim took a deep breath and told a wild story.

It seems that his first wife (he has had 6) did not tolerate and alcohol. Slim could tolerate a great deal of alcohol. I have seen him carry around a large bottle of Jim Bean whisky and drink it strait from the bottle during our lunch break when I was a kid. (He has since given it up alcohol of any form.) After work one day he came home drunk off his gourd. He snuck in the house and passed out in his easy chair.

He began to snore. He could make the ceiling fan move snoring. His wife heard the ruckus of him coming in and snoring and though she was being robbed. Slim usually did not come home drunk he just did not come home; he would sleep it off under the feed store.
She got scared and called her brother in law. She slipped out the window and Slims brother showed up and turned his pit bull loose in the house. The dog hated most people, but it loved Slim. The dog growled low then realized that it was Slim and jumped in his lap and licked him on the face with a huge wet slurpy lick.
Slim said he did not know what had him and in his alcohol induced stupor shouted “not again Helen I am drunk off my ass”.
His first wife’s name was Gertrude.
That is how he got the scar Gertrude beat the doodley poo out of him with the dogs chain.

Anyone got a good scar story.
Snagley out.