« Home | My wife is still expecting our 4th baby. She is st... » | Kids are gross » | coffee » | An ageing Snagley » | BLue Screen » | Insight into Snagley » | Sofas, naked chickens, and Whiskey hill » | Goat Scramble » | Super Snag » | day at a goat show » 

Friday, June 02, 2006 

a dark and gloomy night

It was a dark and gloomy night in a town that knows no friends.
The rain poured down upon the 1971 Chevy Nova. I reached forward and pressed the cigarette lighter, as it heated I shook out a camel filterless cigarette and contemplated the day.

It all started with a phone call from my old buddy Chuck. He was returning from an out of state nudist convention and was calling to catch up.

What’s up Snagley he said

Same old stuff Chuck different day.

Chuck said, “Wish I could tell you the same”

He then went on to tell me that someone had stolen his ottoman.
Chuck is a collector of 16-century Turkish antiquities and reported to me that his statue of Mehmed II was missing from his curio and wanted me to find it.
I took the case. 100 dollars per day plus expenses
I went over to his house to begin my investigation. I knocked on his door.
Chuck came to the door wearing a sarong and a pair of hot pink flip-flops. I shook out a cigarette and a match; I struck the match on Chuck’s front door leaving a long black mark on the door facing.
Good morning Chuck, show me the curio.
He led me to the curio without a word; he was chewing on pistachios and drinking a Peach Snapple.
I looked at the curio, you could see where the statue stood its outline was visible in the pile of pistachio shells that cluttered the entire room. Finding fingerprints was out of the question.
An item like a 16centruy statues of Mehmed II would be hard to move so I went to a little known fence named John. John was located behind chucks house and contained his dog Tripper, Tripper is a small dog and that gets underfoot, I immediately tripped on Tripper and went down. A large man wearing a white suit and a red carnation in his lapel and a nametag that said, “Hello my name is Axe lifted me to my feet. He was holding the status of Mehmed II.
Things got dark from here largely due to Axe pummeling me with his ham-sized fist for bleeding on his Birkenstocks.

I woke up in my car.

I called Chuck. It seems that Axe had met Chuck at the recent nudist convention and in alcohol induces stupor Chuck had told Axe of his love of Turkish antiquities and his recent acquisition of a statue of Mehmed II. Axe simply came by to view the statue and had taken it outside to look at it in a pistachio shell free environment.

I drove home confused but befuddled. I stopped by Chuck’s house to collect my fee and some pistachios.

I have got to get a real job.

Bo Spade out.