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Wednesday, December 21, 2005 

Merry Christmas

I got the first season of the office on dvd today.
my wife was getting it for me to give to someone for christmas. and she knew i would want one, so she got it for me.
I drew my brother in laws name this year and was planning on walking over to him and opening my wallett and handing him twenty five dollars in cash. My wife explained to me that this was "Tacky".

If you are not from the south you might not realize what tacky is. It is any "common" behavior that would not lift you as a person from among the dregs of society.
Do you remember in steel magnolias when they were putting rubbers on Julia Roberts car. She called out to her brothers " Dont put condoms on the car, Thats tacky."
My Grandmother "God rest her soul" would refer to this behavior as common.
the following are behaviors that would get you into trouble among southern belles

1. Picking your teeth in public (common)
2. Picking yout teeth at the dinner table (tacky)
3. Picking your teeth with a pocket knife (common as pig tracks)

further tack and common activities are
1. Clipping your toenails on the front porch (common as pig tracks)
2. Wearing a hat indoors (common)
3. Mentioning that someone of the feminine persuasion is in a family way in mixed company (tacky)
4. Wearing white shoes after labor day (tacky)
5. Not taking off you hat at the football game during the national anthem (communist)
6. Not offering a visitor a prepared drink (tacky)
7. Not asking about anothers family (common)

I am not saying that i am not common or tacky or even common as pig tracks.
Most transplanted yankees would not know these things as they have not grown up in the south. and it would be Tacky to try to tell them how to behave, even if they would listen. so they will have to muddle on common as pig tracks until they stumble accross this blog and realize the error of their ways.

Welcome to the south. if good manners dont kill you the mosquitos will

Snagley out.