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Monday, July 11, 2005 

dang i dont like getting old

First Thank you for the birthday wishes

Contrary to what Chuck might say I turned 38 Saturday. Again I will say that Chuck lies.
My wife took the kids to the dollar store to get me presents. I got a flashlight, one of those long lighters for my grill, and a jar of peanuts.
I also had to spend the day working on a house I am trying to sell, and experienced the deep blue funk that I normally associate with growing older.
I know that all through history people, just like ourselves, who think as we do and act similar to the way we do, have grown older. Some embrace it and grow old gracefully. Some of us fight it tooth and nail. I find myself somewhere in between.
I do not like the thought of getting old. I was raised by old people I have been surrounded with old people my entire life. People 50+ years older than myself have taught me to fish and hunt. They have taught me much about life and have been instrumental in making me the person that I am. So they should have to shoulder much of the blame.

I hope to have some more birthdays. But, as I am finding out there are no guarantees. This statement is further evidence that I am still in my deep blue funk.
Another part of my funk is the fact that as I get older I receive fewer and fewer birthday cards. This year I received exactly 0. That’s right 0.
I understand that most folks figure that a man of 38 should be confident enough that this would not bother them, but it does. I realize also that I don’t have that many good friends.
Despite what you would believe from reading blogs, Chuck is one of my best friends but I have not seen him in months. So I also realize that I am not the best of friends either. And Chuck I don’t know when your birthday is either.

Oh well I will think for a while and try to come up with something funny or upbeat for tomorrow.
or maybe i will choose this time to start my midlife crisis.
Maybe i should look into that Lotus as a start .