SNAGLEY snagley SNAGLEY or (TRI SNAG)

I resolve

I for the year of 2008 do resolve

To loose 25 pounds, granted it may be 25 pounds of rocks that I loose by skipping them into a lake but 25 pounds lost nonetheless.

Purchase some new underpants for myself. They will be boxer briefs and boxer shorts size 36 extra hung. They will have pictures of cartoon characters or smiley faces.

Do something nice.

Lobby for a constitutional amendment outlawing single ply toilet paper.

Jump down, turn around, and pick a bale of cotton.

Not get any of my personal skinnage caught in my zipper.

Tear down, and haul off, my fallen down barn. Anybody out there want to tear down my barn?

Pay Chuck’s wife to shave the University of Florida logo into the hair on Chucks back while he sleeps.

Go fishing

Collect my toe lint and use it to create a nice macramé hammock.

Take the family on a vacation to an undisclosed location that is quiet and slow, like me.

Purchase a new Jimmy Buffett Cd my last one was lost in the wreck of last year. It shall be “Songs you know by heart”

Ride a bike.

Get a shirt made that says, (Snagley for President, he cant be worse than the rest) and wear it to a caucus.

Write a letter to Britney Spears, using octopus ink, offering to let her spend the summer with the Snagleys and teach her some southern manners and some sense. She will be required to wear white cotton granny panties and long loose fitting pants with her navel unexposed at all times. She will also be asked to not be crazier that an outhouse rat. I am unsure that she will be able to do any of these things.

Adopt some kids. I found out I that my best bet is to adopt siblings groups if I intend to adopt locally.

Send the kids and Britney away for the weekend and run around the house with Mrs Snagley smooching and loving.

Get my Dad a load of firewood.

Skinny dip.

That’s about it. Snagley out.

Labels: Belly button lint

I thought i would take the quiz and let yall grade me.

1.How many times in the past 30 days have your picked your teeth with something not designed to pick teeth. Business card, toenail clipping, scotch tape etc.
I use Scotch tape in an emergency. No toe nail clippings.

2. Have you ever gone barefoot and stepped on a garden slug.
Too many times to count

3. Have you ever eaten a bug on purpose?
This one goes without saying. Yes

4. Have you ever taken a sip of moonshine?
Yes, one time I was hunting squirrells in some back woods and came upon a still. I was 14 years old. One of the old men in the circle fired a shot gun into the air and scared me to death. I never went back there again.
I used to walk the creek and find pint jars half full of moonshine. Smelling them would singe the hair in your nose.

5. Have you ever milked a cow or tasted fresh from the cow milk?
Both. Sometimes at the same time.

6. Have you ever stepped in manure
I once ran a manure spreader in a hay field and accidently had it set on high speed. It rained manure for about 30 yards and I was covered in it.

7. Have you ever picked beans bare foot in the mud?
I don’t own rubber boots for picking beans. I like the feel of mud betwix my toes.

8. Have you ever done something extraordinary
Define this however you like. I have.

9. Are you a member of something bigger than yourself
The Snagley family.

10. When you stand at the beach, and looked at the ocean and felt small.
I am small

11. Who is the most important person in the world?
It varies but it is usually my wife or one of my kids.

12. Who was the right tackle for the runner up at the 1982 rose bowl?
I hate football. I don’t even know how to look this one up.

13. How much does a hair cut cost?
10.00

14. Do you tip your garbage man?
No. don’t know if I should or not.

15. What is the definition of Giga-pixel?
One billion pixles

16. Would you ever consider going off the grid?
This means generating all of your own electricity and selling the excess to the power company. I have thought about it. It is expensive to set up.

17. How many inches can light travel in one year (in a gravity free vacuum)?
I hate leap year.
60.00 Seconds in a minute
3,600.00 Seconds in an hour
86,400.00 Seconds in a day
31,536,000.00 Seconds in a year
5,874,601,671,792.00 miles per year
31,017,896,827,061,800.00 Feet per year
372,214,761,924,741,000.00 inches per year


18. Who is your favorite
Garrison Keillor

19. What is your favorite
Fried egg sandwiches

20. How much does a date cost
My last date cost me about 50.00 dinner at a japanese stakehouse and coffee at a book store.

I have decided to make my own online quiz.
You post the answers and I will grade you on your responses.
if you dont like my grading procedures you are free to not like them.

1. How many times in the past 30 days have your picked your teeth with something not designed to pick teeth. Business card, toenail clipping, scotch tape etc.

2. Have you ever gone barefoot and stepped on a garden slug.

3. Have you ever eaten a bug on purpose?

4. Have you ever taken a sip of moonshine?

5. Have you ever milked a cow or tasted fresh from the cow milk?

6. Have you ever stepped in manure

7. Have you ever picked beans bare foot in the mud?

8. Have you ever done something extraordinary

9. Are you a member of something bigger than yourself

10. When you stand at the beach, and looked at the ocean and felt small

11. Who is the most important person in the world?

12. Who was the right tackle for the runner up at the 1982 rose bowl?

13. How much does a hair cut cost?

14. Do you tip your garbage man?

15. What is the definition of Giga-pixel

16. Would you ever consider going off the grid?

17. How many inches can light travel in one year (in a gravity free vacuum)?

18. Who is your favorite

19. What is your favorite

20. How much does a date cost

I was tagged by mox
Here you go.
if you have other questions for Snagley let me know

1. Are you really blogging anonymously, or is your real identity hidden somewhere on your site? I am really Bonaparte Oliver Snagley from Pooting Egret, Alabama


2. Why do you blog anonymously (or pseudo-anonymously)? Because there are too many nut job crazy people out there. Chuck for example

3. How many people know that you blog anonymously? One.


4. Do you have another blog(s) where you write under your real identity? No I just barely have this one.

5. Have you ever been discovered by someone you know? No, that I know of.

6. If you answered yes to #5, did they know they had discovered you? N/A

7. Have you ever thought about revealing your identity to your readers? No.

Oh my.

I am not telling any news today, I might latter, then again who knows what I may do.

Today gentle readers we are discussing a topic near and dear to my heart, my kids.

I do not post their real names because I don’t trust the Internet.
So I shall refer to them as Billy Bob, Mud Cat and Goosey.

Billy Bob is my oldest son. 9 years old and he is smart to a fault. He loves to read. He is writing a book. He loves the cub scouts and he loves me. He is a daddy’s boy. I love him dearly.
He is turning goofy, I mean really goofy. But if you can’t be goofy at 9 when can you.
He wanted to have an x-box so I told him to save his money and buy one. He did.
I pay him to do chores around the house. Like I would give him 25 cents to clean the back yard. He raised enough money to buy an x-box off eBay 25 cents at a time.

Mud Cat is my second son. He is a mess. I love him dearly. He prefers to be dirty; he has no time for things like putting his clothes on correctly. I have seen him with both shoes on the wrong feet, without socks his shirt on inside out and backwards with his pants on backwards too. He simply does not have time to be bothered with this stuff.
At church he heard about an orphanage. He did not know that there were kids out there without parents. So he started collecting aluminum cans. He sells them and gives the money to the orphanage. Well when word got out that a little 7-year-old boy was collecting cans and giving all the money to orphans, people started giving him cans from all over the place. 50-gallon drum liners full of cans start showing up all over my yard. Neither his mother nor I had anything to do with this. He did it on his own. As a matter of fact we did not know why all these cans were around the house till we saw him bringing home another garbage bag full of them. If he sees them in the trash he says “dad look someone threw away 3 cents”. He also wanted to buy a 22 rifle. I said ok raise the money, it took him a little over a year to raise the 134.00. He got within 12 dollars once and cried for me to make up the difference but I didn’t, and now he has earned it himself. We took him shooting Saturday he had a blast. If you don’t approve of kids shooting guns, keep it to yourself.

Goosey is my daughter she is 6 and all girl. She wears dresses most days. She is very tall for her age. The doctors say she will be a tall adult 6 feet or so. She loves the Brady bunch and dolls. She also loves mud. If talking were an Olympic sport she could be the anchor leg of the relay team. She is also beautiful. She loves to play Simon says and usually I trick her. She is also convinced that she is the smartest person on the planet, that she is surrounded by hordes of dufas.

Of course I also have a 12-month-old baby. He does not care for me very much. But he will warm up eventually.

I want some more kids. We cant have any more so we are starting the adoption process. We are looking at international adoption, and may also look at local adoption of a sibling group. If you don’t like large families keep it to yourself. I am tired of hearing it.

Do you know that recently a woman came up to my wife in the grocery store and told her that she felt sorry for her that she has no time for herself. She actually said think of what you could do if you did not have all these children to take care of. My wife was so hurt, and shocked, that she could not think of a response. I would have told her and the horse she rode in on to partake in a particularly unsavory practice I shant speak of here.

My wife is talented and she could be writing books and poems. We spoke of this once and she took me into the kid’s rooms and told me
“ Bo, there are my books, my poems, and my short stories. These are the labors that I longed for and this is the story I want to leave behind.’


Snagley out