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Monday, October 16, 2006 

are you a knot headed ignoramouses

If you are not sure if you are a knot headed ignoramouses please read this.

1. If you drive 60 in a 70 mph zone in the middle lane. You are a danger to those around you and a menace to society. If you are doing it to save the planet you are causing more harm that good as everyone on the interstate has to slow down from “70” to 60 then sit behind you and dispute your lineage until they have a chance to pass you then they accelerate rapidly burning more gas than if you had driven responsibly to start with. If you do this you should immediately turn in your drivers license and go buy a bus pass, or move back up north where this is evidently an accepted practice.

2. If you walk up to a woman with more that 2 kids who is currently expecting another and say something like “ my you sure have your hands full” or “I sure would not want to trade places with you” or my favorite “ don’t you know what causes that” If a couple choose to have a house full of kids it is none of your business. If you don’t want a bunch of kids don’t have them. But don’t walk up to women who are already hormonal and act like you know them and say something stupid that will make them hate you and dispute your lineage. If you do don’t be surprised if you go out to your car and someone has pooped on your windshield.
You may, however, say. What a lovely family you have, no wonder you want another”.
Oh and I know what causes it and I aint stoping it anytime soon.

3. If you have a dog and it scatters my trash across the yard. Don’t be surprised if the dog turns up missing. I live in the country and I like dogs but I like them at your house not mine. If you cant keep them up, then I get to do away with them. I have numerous ways. The humane society is just one of them. And if they chase my chickens then I hit the three S’s (shoot, shovel and shut up). I hate picking up trash that I have responsibly placed in garbage cans with supposedly tamper proof lids. I have talked to my neighbor, I have taken their dog back to them on a chain, I even took it back once and tied it to their front porch.

4. Oh and women. Don’t wear belly shirts, let it stop now. And don’t wear panties that hang out the back of your pants, if you need to wear low-rise pants leave your drawers at home. And when you are at work and a man is visiting your office doing business, don’t talk about feminine hygiene. Don’t mention anything about your recent trip to the gynecologist, and please, please people I just can’t stress this one enough, flush.

oh and dont tick me off

Snagley out