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Monday, February 27, 2006 

New uniforms for female atheletics

Well the winter Olympics are over.
Not a moment too soon. I can now continue my weekly dose of sitcoms and I will no longer receive hate mail from women athletes.

I recently put forth a post detailing why women who play volleyball will get higher ratings than other women’s sports simply because they are scantily clad and lunge and bend a great deal due to the nature of beach volleyball. The women who participate are required to wear swimwear and most of the pictures of them are from the rear, with the female athletes bent over leaving little to the imagination or with a wedgie.

I got more google hits and more traffic because of this post. One woman told emailed me saying, “leave these women alone and get your perverted eyes off of their buttocks”.

I counter with, if women don’t want people to look at their buttocks then they should not wear bathing suits and play athletics’”.

But lets go again with the ratings thing. What if all women’s sports required the women to wear bathing suits in order to compete at the highest level. Do you remember the movie “A League of Their Own”? The women in that movie had to wear mini skirts. Why did they, because the owners wanted people to come and pay to see the game.
So lets go all out now. The following is a list of women’s sports and the new required uniforms.

1. Bowling I could not go with swimsuits because it isn’t even an outside sport so I decided to have them wear French Maid Outfits.

2. Basketball No doubt here spandex hot pants and sheer sports bras.

3. Golf They are outside so I decided to go with Bikini bottoms and white t-shirts. To raise ratings they can have the women swim across the water hazards.

4. Field Hockey Again this is an outside sport. But an awful lot of banging goes on with this sport so I decided to go with Dominatrix apparel. That way they can add padding as needed but still show skin.

5. Soccer. A young woman a few years ago when they won the gold medal stripped off her shirt and ran around in her sports bra. This got rave review, so I say lets put them in some victories secrets bra sets that match their soccer shorts.

I think you get the point here.

If you don’t like the thought of women playing sports in swimwear, and are immune to the literary usage of irony, don’t wear swimwear to play sports in.

And, if you think it is every womans right to play sports in their underwear, by all means do so.

Please send pictures to Bosnagley@gmail.com