Wormy and Wiley go fishing
Wormy and Wiley have recovered from their experience with Eunice somewhat. After Wiley regained his eyesight and Wormy got out of the hospital they decided they needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of down town Snagleyville, and go fishing.
Wormy has a boat so he loaded it up with all the gear and off they went. They decided to go to Lake Martin about an hour and a half away. So after the drive they put the boat in the water and were enjoying a leisurely fishing trip. Wiley had caught several good-sized crappie and Wormy was drinking beer and eating beanie weenie, and generally enjoying the day. Then things start to go wrong.
Wiley saw a likely looking spot and began his cast, as he did he caught Wormy in the ear with the treble hook from his lure. Wormy tried to communicate to Wiley not to cast but it was too late and Wiley sunk the hook all the way into Wormy’s ear lobe. Wormy spewed beanie weenie all over Wiley and most of boat, and began a series of creative cursing that hung over the lake like a blue cloud. When wormy finally calmed down there he sat with his ear pierced by a fishing lure.
There is nothing that brings out the idiot in a person more that trying to get a fishhook out of another person. Wiley grabbed his pliers and offered to get it out for him but Wormy new better than that and said he was getting fond of it and for Wiley to go back to fishing. Wiley said he will go back to fishing as soon as he gets his lure back, it is the only one catching fish. Wormy tells him to forget it he is going to the doctor to have it removed. Wiley turns to go back to his seat and brushes up against Wormy and gets his sweatshirt caught on the treble hooks.
Now they are conjoined to one another on the lake, Wormy by the ear, and Wiley by the back of the shirt just above his belt. Wormy begins to makes allusions that Wiley’s parents were not married at the time of his conception and further slanders his lineage to not end. Wiley tries to take off his shirt but the hook has gone through his shirt and is hooked on his long underwear he manages to get his left arm stuck through the top of his shirt with his head, and cannot get it back in. There is no other choice; they have to try to drive the boat back to the dock.
They make it back to the dock but now they are faced with the dilemma of how to drive a truck and boat trailed to it while not removing half of Wormy’s ear. It ain’t pretty.
Wiley ends up driving in sort of a squat, and Wormy ends up with his head on the seat with Wiley’s butt inches above his head. Every bump Wiley bounces his butt on Wormy’s head.
To make matters worse not Wiley is saying that those last few cans of beanie weenie are ready to make a reappearance and if he doesn’t get to a bathroom soon it will be a bad day indeed. Wormy responds with a kind of moaning, warble that pealed the paint off of the inside of the truck, for Wormy is familiar with Wiley’s digestive system and knows of the impending vapors that accompany such reappearances.
They decide to stop at a service station. They get our of the car Wiley’ arm still stuck out the collar of his shirt and Wormy doing his best imitation of a butt kisser. The old men sitting on the porch of the service station recoil in disgust. Wiley ask where the nearest bathroom, bush or outhouse is. Wormy screams for wire cutters. Finally they are rescued and none the worse for wear. Wormy considers selling his boat and Wiley decides to switch from sweatshirts to cardigans.
Wormy has a boat so he loaded it up with all the gear and off they went. They decided to go to Lake Martin about an hour and a half away. So after the drive they put the boat in the water and were enjoying a leisurely fishing trip. Wiley had caught several good-sized crappie and Wormy was drinking beer and eating beanie weenie, and generally enjoying the day. Then things start to go wrong.
Wiley saw a likely looking spot and began his cast, as he did he caught Wormy in the ear with the treble hook from his lure. Wormy tried to communicate to Wiley not to cast but it was too late and Wiley sunk the hook all the way into Wormy’s ear lobe. Wormy spewed beanie weenie all over Wiley and most of boat, and began a series of creative cursing that hung over the lake like a blue cloud. When wormy finally calmed down there he sat with his ear pierced by a fishing lure.
There is nothing that brings out the idiot in a person more that trying to get a fishhook out of another person. Wiley grabbed his pliers and offered to get it out for him but Wormy new better than that and said he was getting fond of it and for Wiley to go back to fishing. Wiley said he will go back to fishing as soon as he gets his lure back, it is the only one catching fish. Wormy tells him to forget it he is going to the doctor to have it removed. Wiley turns to go back to his seat and brushes up against Wormy and gets his sweatshirt caught on the treble hooks.
Now they are conjoined to one another on the lake, Wormy by the ear, and Wiley by the back of the shirt just above his belt. Wormy begins to makes allusions that Wiley’s parents were not married at the time of his conception and further slanders his lineage to not end. Wiley tries to take off his shirt but the hook has gone through his shirt and is hooked on his long underwear he manages to get his left arm stuck through the top of his shirt with his head, and cannot get it back in. There is no other choice; they have to try to drive the boat back to the dock.
They make it back to the dock but now they are faced with the dilemma of how to drive a truck and boat trailed to it while not removing half of Wormy’s ear. It ain’t pretty.
Wiley ends up driving in sort of a squat, and Wormy ends up with his head on the seat with Wiley’s butt inches above his head. Every bump Wiley bounces his butt on Wormy’s head.
To make matters worse not Wiley is saying that those last few cans of beanie weenie are ready to make a reappearance and if he doesn’t get to a bathroom soon it will be a bad day indeed. Wormy responds with a kind of moaning, warble that pealed the paint off of the inside of the truck, for Wormy is familiar with Wiley’s digestive system and knows of the impending vapors that accompany such reappearances.
They decide to stop at a service station. They get our of the car Wiley’ arm still stuck out the collar of his shirt and Wormy doing his best imitation of a butt kisser. The old men sitting on the porch of the service station recoil in disgust. Wiley ask where the nearest bathroom, bush or outhouse is. Wormy screams for wire cutters. Finally they are rescued and none the worse for wear. Wormy considers selling his boat and Wiley decides to switch from sweatshirts to cardigans.
