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Monday, February 21, 2005 

Elias Snagley

Elias Snagley
Elias was another Snagley who easily qualified for village idiot. His father Buck ran a local lumberyard and was a man of means. He had started poor as have all Snagleys but worked hard and eventually became the president of one of the largest lumber companies in Alabama, Snagco lumber. He married a beautiful wife named Hanna and had one child Elias. Elias, much to the chagrin of his father, was a natural born tree hugger He would go as far as to name his trees.
Buck Snagley and his family lived on a long dirt road in a large house further down the road lived a family named Tridopolous. Since no one could pronounce this name everyone called them the Trids. The Trids had 4 boys, all quite useless. They walked right by the Snagley’s house every day on their way to the school. They had to cross this large creek and wade across through the mud daily. Buck felt sorry for these kids having to get muddy everyday so he decided to build the boys a bridge.
Buck selected a large Pine tree, had it cut down and brought to the lumber yard to be cut into the large timbers needed to create the bridge, little did he know that this is one of the trees that Elias had named and even loved. The tree was named Pooky. After Pooky was cut down and turned into a bridge, Elias went into an emotional decline, assuming that his father liked the Trid kids better than him, and at the loss of Pooky. Elias started spending everyday under the bridge wailing and reading on Walden Pond.
The Trid kids were elated by the construction of the bridge. As they went heard the wailing coming from the bridge the realized that Elias was under the bridge wailing. When they tried to cross the bridge Elias came running out screaming, “get off of Pooky”, and kicked all three kids off of the bridge into the creek. This went on for several Days. Buck was furious and yelled and screamed at Elias, but it did no good. Buck forgot there is no use arguing with idiots.
Hanna Snagley was of Jewish decent and attended the local Jewish tabernacle. She asked her Rabbi to speak to Elias. The Rabbi agreed and went to see Elias. He walked up to the bridge and heard Elias wailing. He was crying and reciting poetry to Pooky the bridge.

Oh Pooky how stately you stood
Oh Pooky no longer does your bough wave
Oh Pooky you are trodden underfoot as common dirt
Oh Pooky Oh Pooky Oh Pooky

It was not good poetry.

Anyway back to the story.
The Rabbi walked right up to the bridge and then across the bridge. He then turned around and walked back across it. He was confused. He knew that the Trid kids were always muddy from the creek; he wondered why Elias did not kick him off the bridge. So as a test he started running back and forth across the bridge. He danced across the bridge, he jumped up and down on the bridge. Elias never stopped crying and reciting. So The Rabbi went down there and found Elias. He picked up Elias and got him to stop crying and asked him. Boy why is it that when the Trid kids cross the bridge you kick them off, but I walked across the bridge you do nothing. I ran across the bridge, I danced on the bridge and even jumped on the bridge.
Elias looked at the Rabbi as if the Rabbi had no brain. He cleared his eyes and said. Silly Rabbi kicks are for Trids. Posted by Hello