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Wednesday, June 25, 2008 

sleep clinic

My night in the sleep clinic

It was just short of horrible.
I get there and they make me stand in the parking lot while he talks on the phone.
I usually one of those easygoing guys so I just got in the truck and listened to my new Taylor Swift CD and waited. Then the dufas comes out and asks me to re-park as my tires are on the yellow stripe. He was looking at me as if I parked one of those huge porta-jon sucking trucks in his driveway and it was leaking. There were no other cars in the parking lot, but I figured I would go ahead and re-park but it was evident that I was not pleased.

Then he shows me to a room. I go in and watch a 45-minute DVD on the horrors of sleep apnea, which could have been used as treatment for sleep disorders. Then another guy comes in and hooks me up to 278 electrodes and sensors. Electrodes, and sensors are all over my head chest legs etc it was unnerving.
Then I find out the AC is broke in my room. It was not hot but egad.
I am sitting there now looking like a cross between a marionette and something out of the Matrix.
The guy now leaves the room turns out the lights and says good night.
Its 9 freaking 30. I guess that Ma and Pa Kettle go to sleep at 9:30 but I usually don’t go to sleep till a bit latter.
After much misery I fall asleep to be awakened every 2 minutes by some electrode poking me.
Literally I bet I slept a total of about 3 hours combined.
The dufas would come rushing in and adjust some electrode on me then rush out.
Then they got me up at 5:00 and told me “you don’t have to go home but you cant stay here”. So I got up and went to shower.

They told me they would handle all the towels etc. but they had no towels, and no soap. I took a shower with hand soap and dried off with a hand towel that felt line dried.
I then went for breakfast and drank a pot and a half of waffle house coffee

Oh and they said the doctor will get with you regarding the results so I wont know anything till July 3

Still tired thinking about it.
Snagley out.