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Tuesday, April 11, 2006 

more poo than necessary

First let me start by saying that my garden plot is lower that the surrounding land. This causes it to hold water during the wet spring and early summer. I have been wanting to add top soil to the garden to raise the level up to where water will not stand in puddles until mid June.

I was driving down the road the other day and I came upon a sign that said, Horse manure for sale. At first I assumed it was somebody reselling political speeches, but then I figured I could use some for my garden, and I figured whatever it was I could use some new blogging material, so I stopped.

I pulled into this long driveway to a beautiful horse stable; beside the stable was a singlewide trailer in the final stages of depreciation. I parked my truck beside the door of the stable and walked up to the corral to look at the horses. The corral was immaculately kept, you could tell that it had been cleaned and raked that morning. I heard a squeaky door being opened and out of the trailer stepped Henry the caretaker and stable hand.

Henry wore what was easily the largest pair of overalls I had ever seen. He had to turn sideways to escape the confines of his trailer. He wore pull on rubber boots, a clean white t-shirt and a Bubba Gump cap to complete his ensemble. He was loading up his jaw with some red man chewing tobacco; he looked at me and said. What can I do for you?

I said, “My name is Snagley, I am looking into the sign at the road that said horse manure for sale.” “I could use a load or two for my garden”.
He said Henry Green is my name I take care of this place, I have for 17 years, and I got lots of manure to sell.
He said he would sell it to me for 50 dollars per load and one load was a dump truck full.
I said works for me and gave him my address and handed him 2 twenties and a ten.
And then I left.

The next day while I am at work Henry shows up to deliver his load of horse poop, finding no one home he dumps it in the garden spot and leaves. When I get home I find what easily is 20 tons of horse crap in my garden in a colossal pile around. I did not get a look at the dump truck but it must have been huge. It will take me days to spread this out in my garden and then more days to till it under to what will be a garden. I will have to move it load at a time to somewhere else in the back pasture so my garden will not be 100% poo.
I think tomorrow I will go and borrow Henry's sign that said Horse manure for sale and put it in my front yard, and try to sell some of this stuff.

the moral of this story is, dont go around asking for a bunch of crap or you will get more than you bargan for.

In other unrelated news my wife and I are expecting our 4th kid.

Snagley out.