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Thursday, June 02, 2005 

What I would change about this world

What I would change about this world

1. No more hungry people. (I have been truly hungry so this one is personal) In our society there is no need for anyone to be hungry. But in other parts of the world there are people starving. They are starving because of political reasons. It is not a republican or democrat issue they were starving through the past 4 presidents and countless congresses. The fact of the matter is we don’t really care.
2. Child abuse. There is no justifiable reason to abuse a child in any form. There are selfish idiots who think that is should be allowable to introduce children to sex with adults at an early age even pre pubescent. Let the kids be innocent for a while. If I had my way, and luckily I don’t, it would be punishable by death. (This one is personal too)
3. Jimmy Buffet would be declared ambassador to the North Korea. Jimmy could mellow out anyone. Even nuke crazy dictators. He could have them humming Margaretville inside of one year. And I would bet that they would make the North Korean national anthem (Why don’t we get drunk and screw). I can just picture it being played at the next Olympics.
4. I would make the American idol format, the format for the next presidential election. Simon will have a field day with that one. Only no Paula Abdul, we can substitute Carmen Sandiego where is the world is she anyway?
5. Everyone should have to work in a factory, and on a farm picking produce for two weeks. Most people have no idea what hard labor feels like. And what some people have to do in order to keep their families afloat.
6. I would declare war on fire ants. Actually they are doing that now in the south. Fire ants are an invasive species, they are introducing some mite to counties in Alabama that kill fire ants then die. It’s about time.
7. Make North Carolinians ask before ruining my barbeque sandwich by putting a scoop of coleslaw on it. Jeeze Louise, if you did this in Alabama they would escort you to the state line with “long live barbeque” tattooed to your backside.
8. Declare a 50-mile strip of beach a national park and forbid anyone from building anything on it. But encourage people to visit and enjoy what a virgin beach used to be.
9. Develop a safe cigarette. One that taste good and wont kill you.

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