SNAGLEY snagley SNAGLEY or (TRI SNAG)

frog with 5 leggs

2009-02-24T17:35:00.003-06:00

Please count the number of legs on this frog,
that's right thrill seekers 5.
this was found in my yard.
one of those hands is mind.
Snagley out.

Oh, i am back.

7 quirky things about Snagley

2008-12-23T15:01:00.002-06:00

Got tagged by Kelwhy

7 quirky things about Snagley

1. Every screw head in my house office workshop is aligned the same way. As a matter of fact every screw head I come in contact with is aligned the same way, vertically. It used to be so bad that I carried a Swiss army knife with me for the express purpose of aligning screw heads.

2. I collect pictures of nuclear explosions.

3. I memorized pi to the 100 decimal
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067

4. I prefer to start fires using flint and steel.

5. If I am wearing pants I have a pocketknife with me.

6. If I go into a bathroom in some ones house I always check behind the shower curtain to make sure someone is not in there, before I make use of the facilities.

7. I can at recollect verbatim almost every conversation I have ever had with anyone. This goes back to when I was 4 years old. I can remember the exact words of conversations I had with almost everyone

Snagley out.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T10:12:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas
and to those atheists out there who are easily offended.

It's JESUS BIRTHDAY

MUUHAHAHAHA.

Snagley out

pearl

2008-12-06T05:04:00.003-06:00

Well there she is Pearl

Ode to Fuzzy Britches

2008-11-25T09:02:00.002-06:00

For those of you thrill seeking Snagley followers, who did not know,
My son at one time had a chicken named Fuzzy Britches.

Poor Fuzzy was not a normal chicken; she never matured properly and always was a little off.
Her beak overgrew into a huge overbite that I had to routinely trim in order for her to eat, Her toenails would overgrow to the point she could not walk if I did not trim them.

She was blind in one eye and could not see out of the other. Her feathers did not mature properly and left her with fuzz around her behind and legs thereby bestowing her moniker of Fuzzy Britches. She never laid an egg.

On a normal farm she would have been chicken and dumplings, at my place she became a pet.

The kids would carry her around under their arms, and in baskets, in the little red wagon, and I swear Son #2 carried her around as he rode his bike through the yard.
We built Fuzzy her own pen so the other chickens would not kill her, (chickens are mean).

Alas, one day I went up to her pen to distribute the morning corn, and she was dead as a hammer. As I explained to my distraught son, “sometimes chickens die”. A funeral followed with long mournful eulogies.

Since then we have acquired a white bantam hen named Pearl. Son #2 has had quite a time keeping this one alive. He had to beat a Red Tailed Hawk off of pearl with a stick, so pearl now lives in a cage on my back porch. (You might be a redneck if)

Pearl is a little larger than a pigeon, they have tamed her to the point she will sit calmly in your lap as we sit in the swing. Quite cool.

You ought to hear the story of Son #2 fighting a hawk with a stick, quite entertaining.

Snagley out

Blimpton T Pettifogger

2008-11-24T09:16:00.002-06:00

I am sorry i have not posted in a while.
I am struggling with some personal issues that I am not at liberty to discuss at the moment and it has me not feeling exactly creative lately.

in light of that why don't you please ask me some questions and i will answer them honestly.

either that or i can revert to posting pictures of cats.

your choice.

Snagley out.

I voted

2008-11-04T11:49:00.005-06:00

free cat

2008-10-31T18:37:00.003-06:00

I find it hart warming to see generosity in people today.
Give Give Give its the battle cry of a generation of sacrificial givers.

Snagley out.

news

2008-10-27T12:21:00.001-06:00

I understand
Snagley, quit your blathering and talk about chickens.

I built the chicken coop out of untreated oak 4x4s.
The reason I did this is because I had an overabundance of untreated oak 4x4s and absolutely no treated 4x4s. After 4 years they rotted off at the ground.

When the coop actually fell in all the chickens escaped and began feasting on my turnip greens. I was at work and the kids rounded then all up and stuffed them into the northern annex until I can rebuild. No chickens were injured

I have salvaged 4 treated 4x4s from an errant rose trellis and plan to rebuild with them.

The hens are about to go through the molt, this is when they loose their summer feathers and gain winter feathers. They stop laying eggs completely at this time.

A little chicken trivia here for you non-agricultural city folk. Chickens do not urinate. Bet you did not know that.

In other news I have decided to run naked in the sweet dew of the morning until we are independent of foreign oil, have a safe cigarette, and find a cure for the common cold, or until I forget to get up early to do it. I will keep you updated.

In other news.

I have a serious question.Why don’t we offer a 1billion dollar award for the first car company to come up with an alternative energy vehicle that will hold 4 people to 70 miles per hour for at least 4 hours and cost less than $19,000.00. I think that would grab their attention.

The government spends that much per year on toilet seats, hammers and paper clips.

what i dont like about myself

2008-10-24T08:41:00.001-06:00

I am getting older and as I do I am discovering thing about myself. Some of them I like some I don’t.
As time passes and we get older we see ourselves as mortal. This causes us to take a look at our lives and see where we are and where we want to be, and what we want to do with what we have left. Its not a bad thing unless it brings about impulse buying and drastic life changes that injure the ones you love.

I am going to post today about things I don’t like and tomorrow things I do like.
Things I don’t like include but are not limited to.

1. My inability to get to know people on a more personal level.
2. My lack of concern for the poor and down trodden.
3. My nature of political cynicism.
4. The fact that I do not call my extended family often.
5. I don’t study more.
6. I am not a very good friend to people who know me. Mostly due to my being an introvert and partly due to being self-involved with my family.

If you take most of the stuff I don’t like about myself it stems back to basically I am selfish. I want my family circle to be happy and I want to bask in the warmth of their love. What I need to be doing is extending that out to others.
Not particularly proud of that.

The other think I don’t like about myself is I don’t drive a lotus elise

In other news
The Chicken coop fell in and I have not fixed it yet.

Snagley out

Lyman and the Chainsaw

2008-10-13T11:19:00.000-06:00

There is a local idiot in my neighborhood.
I shall withhold his name in the odd chance that he learns to use a computer, we shall call him Lyman.
He cuts trees for a living.
If you have a tree that has fallen he will come out to your house and cut it up for you. Part of his deal is he will sell it for firewood.
I had just such a tree. A Sweet gum tree that fell and I needed it to not be there anymore. So I called Lyman, he showed up with a cross cut saw. The following conversation ensued.

Me: Lyman why in the name of Bert Parks are you using a cross cut saw to cut up that tree.

Lyman: I tried a chain saw once and I can cut 5 times as much wood in a day with the cross cut saw as I can with a chain saw.

Me: Lyman that is impossible.

Lyman: no really I still got the thing in the truck. Chain saws are overrated, I cant get the thing to cut worth a toot.

Me: Lyman, go get your chain saw let me take a look at it.

Lyman: Ok, here you go.

I grab the saw switch it on and yank the cord. It powers up immediately I rev the motor a few times

Lyman: What’s that noise.

Snagley out.

more news

2008-10-06T10:44:00.000-06:00

I was built a compost bin Saturday. I built it out of wooden pallets. 4 tied together.
Then one layer of rotten hay followed by one layer of green plant material followed by another layer of rotten hay then followed by a layer of chicken poop (provided by resident chickens) followed by another layer of hay followed by a good soaking by the Snagley well pump.

The chicken coop fell in Friday. So I moved them all to the annex while I repair the coop. Saturday the boys and I disassembled the main coop and dug up some treated 4x4s that I was using for a rose trellises. I did not use treated timbers the first time around, as I did not have any treated timbers. And wood true to its nature rots in dirt water and chicken poop.

In other news,

The CPAP seems to be working.

I have some pepper sauce made out of some chili peppers from the garden. It is slightly hotter than the surface of the sun, very good on turnip greens. Which I might add are coming in quite well.

I am taking a class on reformed theology, quite interesting stuff, John Calvin, Martin Luther, Westminster Confession of Faith etc. These guys had a lot to say. Unfortunately they did not write it in, what I would term, the most captivating prose. Nonetheless, I am reading it and trying to absorb what I am reading.

I have a question I would like to ask you.
How much time did you spend as a child out side playing, and if you have kids how much time do they spend outside playing.
And do you discourage your kids from getting dirty

I spent almost all of my time outside summer and winter.
My kids do not spend as much time outside as I do but I would estimate on weekdays 4 to 5 yours and 5 to 7 on weekends.
I don’t care if they are dirty or not as long as they take an occasional shower

Snagely out

answers to questions

2008-09-30T07:37:00.002-06:00

1. Chickie, I have no birthmarks. I do wish somone would take them.

2. Christoph About 3 years is the max. Yes most of the chicken you get in stores is 6-months old or less when they get old they get stringy and chicken salad or dumplings is about all they are good for. If you tried to fry an old chicken it would be like trying to eat a piece of tractor tire.
My dream tractor would be anything brand new, but I am trying to find a Ford 8N. They were made back in the 1950s; they were overbuilt so they are still reliable and not too hard to find parts for. The one in the link is in Nevada so that does me no good.

3. Christina LMT We have had chicken funerals (very sad) but I don’t have room for 17 chickens + 20 more. Chickens can be mean and the older hens would kill the newer chicks.
I dated my wife for 6 months then asked her to marry me then waited 9 LONG months for the wedding. Once I got to know her, I new I wanted to marry her. If you got to know her you would love her too.

4. Chuck no comment

News.

2008-09-29T13:01:00.000-06:00

From Snagleyshire

I took the garden down Saturday and Sunday cleaned up around the place.
The cubs are coming for the day this weekend and I want the place looking nice.
The adoption is going. We expect a call from a social worker this week.

Our turnip greens are up. And our chickens have stopped laying. They are getting too old.
I am going to get some new chicks in the spring and start over; the big question is what will I do with the old ones. They are too old and tough for much. I may see if I can find a petting zoo or something that wants them. If I clonk them on the head I will have to pay a lot for child therapy.

I am now using a CPAP machine at night. I think it is helping but it is too soon to know for sure.

My oldest son found a 10’ bullwhip at the feed store and bought it in a euphoric rush of Indiana Jones fervor. That is a hoot. He has a black cow boy hat and that whip and plays Indiana Jones all the time its fun being a kid.

I need a tractor, but I can’t find one that I can afford. It’s a pain in the butt being poor. If any of you have a tractor that you need to find a good home for let me know.

This year the garden was a big success. We had tomatoes, peppers, squash and zucchini to excess, peas, green beans, eggplant, watermelon, okra, and for the first time in a long while sweet corn. We have a freezer full of veggies and a cupboard full of canned stuff and jellies, etc.

I love pickled green tomatoes, my old college buddy Chuck was gifted a jar last year and I think he likes them too. If I ever see him again I will give him another jar.

The hay cutters came and cut the hay, it looks good when its cut.

In other news

Coming up next post 10 things about Snagley
You get to choose the 10 things
Go get to voting.
Snagley out

level 7

2008-09-15T08:47:00.005-06:00

as some of you may have recently read.
I Bo Snagley have been declared level 7 wizard by the local chapter of wizards, mugwumps, non-tooth but very masculine fairies, and assorted scum.
Christoph has chosen to make note of this on his blog. thank you Christoph.
I had to eat a plate of dried ladybugs. (quite tasty) to have this honor bestowed upon my humble noggin.
Thanks o'pleanty.

Snagley out

Luann for President

2008-09-09T08:02:00.002-06:00

Good grief. Luann is getting a tattoo.

I thought that the republic was in trouble when we have McCain and Obama running for
Neither of which I would put in middle management.
Frankly I think the worst thing for us is if either of them wins. Obama is proving to be a typical political liar, and McCain is no better.

Both flip flop dependant upon which audience they are speaking to. And please don’t try to defend either; it is a sad commentary on our nation when public liars are our only choice.
I know some of you will say, “Well they all do it, whatever it takes to get elected.”
I am tired of that. I want someone with integrity I want a yes to be yes and a no to be no. I don’t want to debate the definition of “is”.

Please write this down, we will not be better off in 4 years than we are now. That says nothing for our current administration. I think history will decide about Bush, I don’t think he is as great as his ardent supporters say or as bad as his detractors. The statement that we will not be better off in 4 years is a sad commentary on Obama and McCain and our lack of choices for the next election.

I think Luann would be a better choice

Back to Luann, her brother, Brad, got a tattoo. That Toni Daytona girl pressured him into it. So now Luann thinks she needs one too, as she said to be unique just like everyone else.

What’s next Ziggy growing a goatee, Dagwood wearing crocs, Garfield goes vegetarian.

Snagley out.

Fred and the Coyote

2008-08-26T07:56:00.001-06:00

Uncle Fred sat in his rocker in his house beside the barrel stove he used for heat. His foot neatly in a cast was toasting nicely in the heat of the stove. Atop his cast was a red stocking cap after all it was the Christmas season.
The cast was a gift from me to him, or so was his ongoing claim. Truthfully he fell off of his old pickup truck while cutting mistletoe out of an oak tree for me to sell at the local feed store. He was not pleased with me at the moment, but with the aid of a quart of home brew he was sleeping well.

As I walked the old road to his house pulling a little red wagon my mother had loaded with food for Fred, I saw a coyote. He could not see me as I was walking in the deep ditch only my head was exposed. It was lots easier to avoid getting hit by a car, or beaten senseless by the Bickerstaff boys, if you could dive into a ditch at a moments notice, granted it was difficult pulling a wagon but I was 13 what do you expect. The coyote was running as if he were late for an appointment with his sweetie. He did not see the mail truck coming and was run over. This is very unusual for coyotes. They are usually very solitary animals and would not venture near the road; also this road only saw a motorized vehicle once a day on a good day, this must be a dumb coyote.

I walked up to the Coyote and noticed that, other than a little blood around its mouth it was in great shape. My plan was to give the Coyote to Uncle Fred, he could sell the hide and would not be mad at me any more. I loaded the Coyote up into the wagon and drug it along.

When I got to Fred’s house he was asleep in his rocker his foot propped on his kitchen table snoring blissfully, his wood stove was popping and sizzling and a pot of coffee was warming atop.

I decided that a great surprise for Fred would be for me to put the coyote on the table so he would be able to see it when he woke up. As is the nature of 13-year-old boys, I decided that it looked to dead just lying there so I picked up a box of wooden matches and put them under his chin. The coyote still looked to dead, so I took two matches and put them under his lips on each side so that he had the look of a snarl. I wanted Fred to be surprised so I went outside to wait and see how surprised he would be.

I went outside and started whittling a stick, as was my common practice.
Soon I heard the sounds of surprise, it manifested itself in the form of profanity. I shall paraphrase it for the sake of our more gentle readers.

“What in all tarnation dingbat dang, aaaaaggghhh get away from Meeeee you unpolished son of an English muffin”.

Then the door burst open Fred was on crutches they looked like a windmill in a tornado. He shot straight out of his shack and straight into his outhouse. There he stood peering out of the Half moon window on the door, his stocking hat covered toe hanging out the door.

Then, to my great surprise, out walked the coyote. He was chewing on a match, shaking his head. Either trying to shake off a bad headache, or in wonder of the spectacle he had just beheld.

It was about that time that I remembered that I had matters of great concern that required my immediate attention elsewhere. So I left.

Fred, not being one to appreciate a 13-year-old boy releasing a live coyote into the shack of an old man with a broken leg, was not quick to forgive me.

But as we all know time heals all wounds and soon we were hunting together again. But he always made me walk in front of him from then on.

Snagley out..

Chuck News

2008-08-22T12:08:00.001-06:00

CHuck news.
as you all may have known Chuck who used to blog all the time is a friend of mine.

In his absence from blogging he has been ordained as a minister and is contemplating leading a cub scout den.

when you get up off the floor please drink some cold water.

Snagley out.

Mad Rant

2008-08-15T15:50:00.000-06:00

I am a simple man, I don’t deny being one, I revel in it.
One of the things that I don’t understand is people like this jerkwad.
If you read the article you will read of a man who advocates having sex with children as a form of religious expression.
My soft spot, other than my wife, is Children.
Leave them alone.
Every year I hear of some new “religion” either bigamously having child brides or some other perversion with children.
This sort of thing is what the death penalty should be used for.
Why this man is being allowed release from prison is beyond me.
He will be back in soon, but which of our children will be sacrificed to see that it happens. I am not willing to sacrifice mine.

Children are to be protected and cherished not objects of perverted desire.

A sickened Bo Snagley out.

P.S. Yall were no help with the snakes.

Snakes, beans, and onions

2008-07-30T08:14:00.000-06:00

Son #2’s gift with animals does not, as it turns out, include snakes. He looked into the hen’s nest and found a 4-foot garter snake looking for mice and had a conniption fit.

Can’t say that I blame him, old no shoulders and I have not had a long and illustrious friendship. (Sounds like a Bo Snagley childhood post in the making) My wife verified the existence of said snake, it would seem now that I have a new job of snake eradication. I don’t particularly want to kill the snake, snakes eat mice and I have an overabundance of mice. However, I don’t want to be the one who has to feed the chickens and gather eggs henceforth and forever, that’s one of the reasons I had kids.
Ideas anyone.

In other news,

We are harvesting our green beans. Son one, Son two, daughter and I picked one third of a row and got 6 market baskets full. The row is 70 feet. We are getting lots of tomatoes and more peppers than we can handle. We have started leaving squash and zucchini in the cars of people that foolishly leave their windows open. And, believe it or not gentle readers we have corn this year. We got maybe a quart of blueberries this year the rest got eaten by marauding children. But a coworker gave me 3 gallons, which we froze.

We went to the farmers market and bought some peaches for our peach salsa and some for pies. We found some clear seed peaches for 5 dollars per basket; we bought 9 baskets and had some pies. The kids have lots of t-shirts with peach juice stains on them, but that’s what childhood is for.

We also bought 20 pounds of Vidalia onions and then were gifted with another 20 pounds of Vidalia onions from a friend. 40 pounds is a lot of onions. If you are not familiar with Vidalia sweet onions you should familiarize yourself, the best application is a cross section applied to a home grilled hamburger.

Well thanks for the comments on the previous post. I will try to post more often.

Snagley out.

Ask Snag and News

2008-07-23T15:31:00.000-06:00

Latest news update

I have not posted a lot lately.
My pleasure from posting has come from telling stories that are all flawlessly true from my youth.
But when I post these I get no comments and frankly they take a lot of energy to write.
I used to joke with Chuck back when he was around that I could post a picture an ingrown toenail and get tons of comments but pour my energies into a story and get Bubcus.
I have started telling about news from Lake Snagley, which gets mixed reviews at best.
I have tried ask Snagley posts and that works well some times.
So today I have decided to post news with a ask Snagley.

News.
Son 2 may have some sort of gift with animals. It’s getting sort of freaky
He has always carried chickens and cats and other assorted animals around the yard his entire life. He told me the other day he had been catching birds in the back yard.
I sort of took this with a grain of salt until I saw him do it.
He would walk up to the bird feeder at a profoundly slow pace then reach up and grab a bird. Then the bird would chirp loudly and sit there till he would release the bird.
Freaky.
Then yesterday I get home and he says watch this Dad. He walked up to the bird feeder at a normal pace put up his hand and the bird stepped onto his fingers as if he were a parakeet. He then walked around the yard carrying this bird. He would point his finger straight up and the bird would adjust to the new position without showing fear. But if I walked up the bird would fly off.
He has named the bird Lulu.

Ask Snagley

Ask me a question I will answer it honestly.
Snagley out.

Happy Birthday BO Snagley

2008-07-09T08:05:00.003-06:00

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
i cant remember the rest of the words.

Snagley out

2008-07-08T16:38:00.001-06:00

I took an online iq test. i dont recomend you take it as it took me 30 minutes

well its official "I cant sleep"

2008-07-01T13:28:00.000-06:00

Well I have to go back to the sleep clinic.
Evidence shows that I wake up 14.5 times per hour.
I have to go back to the sauna, and get hooked up to a shop-vac running in reverse and set the pressures low enough so my eyes wont bug out. This is supposed to make me sleep better.

Evidently what happens is my throat is closing off while sleeping. This causes me to not breath. I have discovered it is not good to not breathe. The Doctor told me that if at all possible he would prefer that I breathe all night long. As he said, “Oxygen in your body promotes good health” I am assuming he is not referring to the cable network.

I said “Yeah doc that makes sense, but this time how about a room with air conditioning and towels and soap”.
He replied “sure as shooting Sleepy, this time you will not have to dry off with a bath mat and use antibacterial hand soap as shampoo”.
I said “Good that last time was just beyond horrible”.

So I am going back for another round.

In other news
I plan on posting garden pictures soon.
The adoption paperwork is in the works.
If anyone knows of a kid in need of adoption please let me know.
I am being serious.

Snagley out.

sleep clinic

2008-06-25T15:09:00.001-06:00

My night in the sleep clinic

It was just short of horrible.
I get there and they make me stand in the parking lot while he talks on the phone.
I usually one of those easygoing guys so I just got in the truck and listened to my new Taylor Swift CD and waited. Then the dufas comes out and asks me to re-park as my tires are on the yellow stripe. He was looking at me as if I parked one of those huge porta-jon sucking trucks in his driveway and it was leaking. There were no other cars in the parking lot, but I figured I would go ahead and re-park but it was evident that I was not pleased.

Then he shows me to a room. I go in and watch a 45-minute DVD on the horrors of sleep apnea, which could have been used as treatment for sleep disorders. Then another guy comes in and hooks me up to 278 electrodes and sensors. Electrodes, and sensors are all over my head chest legs etc it was unnerving.
Then I find out the AC is broke in my room. It was not hot but egad.
I am sitting there now looking like a cross between a marionette and something out of the Matrix.
The guy now leaves the room turns out the lights and says good night.
Its 9 freaking 30. I guess that Ma and Pa Kettle go to sleep at 9:30 but I usually don’t go to sleep till a bit latter.
After much misery I fall asleep to be awakened every 2 minutes by some electrode poking me.
Literally I bet I slept a total of about 3 hours combined.
The dufas would come rushing in and adjust some electrode on me then rush out.
Then they got me up at 5:00 and told me “you don’t have to go home but you cant stay here”. So I got up and went to shower.

They told me they would handle all the towels etc. but they had no towels, and no soap. I took a shower with hand soap and dried off with a hand towel that felt line dried.
I then went for breakfast and drank a pot and a half of waffle house coffee

Oh and they said the doctor will get with you regarding the results so I wont know anything till July 3

Still tired thinking about it.
Snagley out.

sleep

2008-06-19T06:55:00.003-06:00

Gentle Readers

I am going to a sleep clinic tonight.
wish me luck.

In other news.
the garden is in. I may have to replant some stuff. but over all it seems to be going ok.

The trees i planted Nectarine, peach, pecan and the berries, Raspberry, blackberries and grapes are also still alive. woo hoo.

Snagley out.

Happiness is contentment

2008-06-17T10:29:00.002-06:00

Awesome answers to the Happiness is question.

I think my answer would be contentment.
Just general contentment, not related to any one thing.

but it would differ for someone else.
for some being content would drive them crazy.

Snagley out.

Happiness is

2008-06-12T12:22:00.002-06:00

Please compleat the following with your definition

HAPPINESS IS ____________________________________

Snagley out.

The Tick

2008-06-11T15:24:00.002-06:00

this was undoubtedly the greatest television show ever created, with the possible exception of The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.

Weary travlers i give you THE TICK

News from Snagleyshire

2008-06-10T08:12:00.000-06:00

I’m Back

Well thrill seekers it’s been a long week.
As some of you may know I love my kids. So every year I spend a week with them at summer day camp for cub scouts.
I have a son who is a bear cub and a son who is a webelos 2. The bears had day camp from 8:00 to 2:30 and the webelos went from 3:00 to 8:00. Needless to say it was a long day. By the end of every day I was pretty sweaty and stinky. About the time I had one group worn down I would get a fresh batch at 3:00.
But, there were no casualties and I got to spend a lot of time with my two oldest boys.
I spent the night with my webelos son on Friday night, it was pretty miserable. Summer camping is miserable at best and gruesome at worst.

The highlights were a flag retirement ceremony, which had me in tears.
A flag retirement is when they take old flags that have served our country, and in a solemn respectful way disassemble them according to protocol and burn the remains in a fire.

It was explained that once a flag has been cut into pieces it is no longer a flag. There are only three groups that are recognized as able to retire a United States flag, veteran’s organizations, military organizations, and the boy scouts of America.
Then they spoke about all the men who fought suffered and died because of what that flag represented.
It was special and touching. They retired enough flags that all 250 in attendance were able to participate.

Son #2 is getting some bantam hens and is planning on building an elaborate hen house. His new pet hen Patty has graduated to the chicken coop with the other buff orpington chickens. We are getting about 8 eggs daily which is one every other day.

Winifred is still a nincompoop.

We are now actively looking into adoption not of Winifred’s baby but both foreign and domestic whichever is quickest and affordable.

Home school is out for the summer but Son #1 wants to start on his English for the coming year. It is how to write the novel way. He wants to write books, so this is right up his alley. He did really well on the standardized test he took in the spring. He is doing science at a 10.5 grade level and he is in the 4th grade. Genetics speak.

Have not heard from Chuck in a while. I think he ate a bad radish and came down with a bad case of the Hong Kong hangnails.

more chicken news to follow

Snagley out.

out next week

2008-05-29T06:54:00.001-06:00

i will be out next week.
doing two sessions of cub scout day camp per day.
will be cub scouting from 8am to 8pm for 5 days.

lots of chicken news to come.

snagley out

so what do you think of this

2008-05-21T14:56:00.001-06:00

So honestly what is your opinion.

we are having a choose a caption contest tomorrow. stay tuned thrill seekers.

Snagley out.

this is your snagley on drugs

2008-05-20T12:22:00.001-06:00

This is in answer to the Cake Lady

Has Bonaparte Snagley ever done drugs?
Nope I did not even see any till I was in my mid 20s.
I have lived and continue to live around people who have done drugs and are doing them now. I have not seen the glamour or the pleasure that drugs reportedly bring.
I have seen a brother in law who lives in a friend’s spare room after loosing his house, wife, cars, and job. He made a base of 50 + commission. He now makes less than ½ that. And has driven a wedge between his parents and will probably bring about their early deaths due to stress and worry.
I see this all the time. I volunteer at a homeless shelter sometimes and drug use is the main reason that they are full.

But there are plenty of things that I am not proud of that I will tell them not to do and not feel guilty about it. Just because I screwed up does not mean that I can’t tell my kids not to foul up too. I have the sex talk to give to one of my boys this weekend and while I was a virgin when I married. I fooled around in ways that I wish I had not. I will tell this about this in miniscule detail and explain my values and how I hope better for them.

I was afraid to use drugs. I did not avoid them for any other reason other than I never saw them. I was terrified of alcohol I had a grandfather who was an alcoholic who died long before me. His stories were legendary. Plus I worked around drunks at a local feed store and their lives never appealed to me much.
Wish I could say it was because I was so virtuous that I avoided it but that is the truth.
I do enjoy the fruits of the vine and the flavor of a cold brew now.

Snagley out

How to feed Bo Snagley

2008-05-15T08:38:00.002-06:00

My favorite dish

I like to start with a bed of white rice
Next I like to apply a nice portion of hot black-eyed peas. (Not the Fergie variety)
Then two or three awe heck makes it 4 tablespoons of my wife’s homemade salsa
I like to chase this with a big glass of ice water (light ice).
As a side dish I like home made corn bread cooked in a skillet with real butter.

For desert my favorite is cold black berry cobbler.

But about once or twice a year.

I like to go to the local polar locker and buy some fresh 1-¼ inch t-bone stakes
I make my own basting sauce using butter, Lemmon juice, Worcestershire sauce, salt, and some Tabasco for good measure.
I poke the steak full of holes with a fork.
For the fire I use only hickory and burn it to a bed of coals no charcoal.
I add about 4 green hickory branches to provide some smoke and then put on the steaks.
I baste the steak I don’t soak it. I turn the steak only once
While the steak is cooking I take some homemade bread and butter it and toast it butter side down.
I like a salad straight from the garden so this has to happen in spring to early summer when the lettuce is right. +
I like lettuce tomato, cucumbers, shaved radishes, and some bell peppers.
I like a nice merlot and I like my merlot lightly chilled (don’t start with me about that room temperature nonsense)

For desert I like strawberries and cream. Yes real cream.

Snagley out

news from lake snagleybegon

2008-05-13T12:20:00.000-06:00

News.

My brother is ok. He has been smoking since he was 11 years old. This is what 41 years of smoking will do to you. And yes, my parents about tore his hind end up when they would catch him smoking, it did no good, if you want to smoke you do and when you are addicted you don’t care. I spoke to the cardiologist who installed his stint and did his balloon angioplasty he showed me his x-ray, and said he is a long term smoker isn’t he. He pointed to the vein and said this vein is almost always only blocked when the patient is a smoker. 30 minutes latter he would be dead.

Winifred is still an idiot. She is currently working 15 hours a week for 6.00 per hour. You do the math. She floats between her parent’s house and her sister’s house. She will fight with one and leave then fight with the other and leave. She is driving an old 70s Cadillac with a bad alternator. I am trying to not get too involved she keeps scamming us for money, and I don’t want to enable her to irresponsible behavior. I keep trying to take her to the largest employer in Alabama and get her to apply for a job. She refuses. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make a pig and a poke out of a sow’s ear, with a bird in the hand.

I am trying to get the garden in the ground but it keeps raining.

Son #2 is trying to save up to buy his own chickens. His pet chicken Patty laid her first egg today. He boiled it and ate it for lunch.

Son #1 is learning to write novels. His language book for home school is learning to write the novel way. He is excited.

Daughter has lost her middle tooth and looks even cuter. She is mad about having to learn math. I told her “sorry”.

Baby 17 months old now and is running around the house. He is a real cutie.

Wife is doing well. I got her a pearl and diamond ring for mother’s day.

Cub scouts day camp is coming up. I am looking forward to that.

I am doing ok.

I am having a really hard time not having a new baby in my house. I know that lots of folks don’t want lots of kids and to each his own but I am grieving about it. I always wanted at least 5 kids. I am still looking at adoption but most agencies don’t understand wanting 5 when you have 4 and put you way down the list. We are looking at international adoption now.

Questions please

And I am sorry I have not answered all of the tag your it posts.

Try me now and I will try to catch up. Be sure to leave me a comment if I am tagged or send me an email.
bosnagley@gmail.com

Snagley out.

heart attack

2008-04-23T06:51:00.002-06:00

my brother had a heart attack
he is 52, thats 12 years older than me.
he seems to be ok, he is in ICU.
I will be sort of in and out of the blog world till I can get back to normal
I miss blogging and miss reading blogs and comments.
Snagley out.

Snag Facts

2008-04-09T07:09:00.001-06:00

Snagley Facts
i got tagged by You are my Texas Sunshine

1. I live in the same house I was raised in, in the same room actually. And my kids are being raised in the same house that I was raised in.

2. I have not felt rested in over 10 years. I wake up tired and go to bed tired. I think I have sleep apnea or something. I am going to a sleep clinic in two weeks to find out if that is my problem or if it is something else like a weird thyroid or some other problem.

3. My wife accidentally gave away my good shoes. There was a shoe drive at a local church and I was going through all my old shoes and she put my good ones with them. I had to buy a pair yesterday and they are not comfortable.

4. If I could do anything in the world. I would stay home all the time with my family and soak them up.

5. My hobbies include but are not limited to, kid watching, kid playing, wife smooching, tying flies, wood carving, gardening, antique fishing rods and reels, fishing, hunting, bird watching, hiking, camping, geocacheing, reading, examining the entire contents of antique stores, and archery.

6. I have a great plan in my head for a solar hot water heater but I have not had the time or money to put in into place. I made a beta version and it created a lot of steam, I may have to tone it down a bit. I want to rig it up in my truck so when we go hunting and fishing in remote areas we can have hot water for hands etc.

7. Other than my family I don’t have many friends. I don’t make friends easily. I miss the companionship of close friends.

8. I suffer from depression, its not debilitating but I struggle with it every day. 99.71% of the time I have it whipped but some times it kicks me in the rear.

9. If I am wearing pants I have a pocketknife with me.

10. I want to fence in the place and raise boer goats, and belted Galloway cows, but time and money are conspiring to leave me goatless and cowless.

News from Snagley

2008-04-03T15:20:00.001-06:00

News

I have planted the 4 new thornless blackberries, and some new grapes.
The hens have resumed laying eggs and I am getting from 9 to 12 a day again.

My wife has started home schooling a kid who was going to a local public school. He was crying every day and begging his dad to not make him go back. His mom left them when he was 3 years old and has nothing to do with him. His schoolmates were teasing him because of his race. When his dad approached the school administrators they told him that life is hard and there was not much they could do to change it. His dad plans to put him in a private school in hopes of a better situation, but this wont happen till next year. So his adoptive grandmother is paying my wife to home school him till the end of the school year. The kid likes historic and scenic Snagley Acres.
I shall refer to the kid as Blemsniggle. Blemsniggle is not used to other kids being kind to him or even acting nice so he doesn’t know what to think when one of my kids offers to do something nice for him. It is one of those times when I am glad that we home school our kids. If you don’t like home schooling please keep it to yourself.

In other news
Winifred has birthed her baby {c-section}. Cute kid. She is currently hospitalized with mastitis, she had surgery two days ago and they had to leave the wound open and packed. They took over 90cc of fluid off her breast. She has been in a lot of pain. She scammed my wife out of some money the other day, easy come easy go. Winifred’s mom kicked her out of the house the other day. She is living with her sister. The father of the child is still in jail. I found out that he did not just steal copper from the power company but her set the truck afire afterwards, a real genius. He has yet to stand trial for that.

In yet other news
I am taking my family on a 7-day vacation this year, the first one of my adult life. We are going to Dauphin Island. I plan to sleep late and fish late. Dauphin Island is about 3 miles long it has two restaurants and one gas station. No grocery stores or other such distractions. I am not sure if there is even a bait shop. Bring it with you if you want it.
Not much to do there unless you like to fish and go bird watching, both of which I do. It has an Esturarium and Fort Gaines there is the Audubon bird sanctuary. I plan on buying a new spotting scope that I have wanted for a while. Anyone have one for sale? There is also the Dauphin island ferry that takes us to Fort Morgan one of my favorite places on earth. There are two fish piers the dauphin island fishing pier, which is high and dry from the last hurricane. But, it makes it an easy walk to Pelican Island for some serious surf fishing. The other pier is the cedar point pier it is on the sound side of the island but is great for fishing like I like to do.

I will think of you fondly.
Snagley out

tagged by Kelwhy

2008-03-28T21:24:00.000-06:00

4 Films I'd watch again (in no particular order)

Forest Gump The movie was genius I sort of relate to Forest except I cant seem to stumble backasswards into greatness

Little Big Man – It’s a good day to die.

La Story – its my list so shut up

Return of the King – That scene where Gandalf rides down the hill parting the sea of orks gets me every time.

4 Places I've lived:

Mccalla Alabama - born and raised.

Montevallo Alabama – I only left after a mere 6 years of college with no degree

Charlotte NC – Huge mistake one year

Mccalla Alabama – now, they will probably burry me in the pasture.

4 T.V. shows I watch:

The Office – Dwight for President.

The Beverly Hillbillies – that Jethro cracks me up

that about it I hate TV

4 Things to eat:

Steak – But I like to cook it myself

Fruit – cantaloupe

Chicken potpie. – My wife makes one better than your mom

Eggs benedict – don’t know why just like it

4 Places I'd rather be:

Home

The Beach at Fort Morgan

At a creek fishing with my kids

Heaven

break

2008-03-27T15:31:00.002-06:00

I am going to have to take a break.
I have too much work going on.
I will be back give me a week or two.
I am so busy i cant give a decent post and seem to have lost my sence of humor anyway.
maybe i can do a news post or something in a day or so.
Snagley

a lot of goat

2008-03-07T13:43:00.001-06:00

The goat on the right cost $10,000.00

any takers

good

2008-03-06T18:25:00.003-06:00

i asked a question the other day asking whether you thin people are good or not. I got 10 answers all saying we are not too bad and lean to being good.

i did not answer that question and in retrospect that is not fair. it was no an easy question to answer.

the reason i had decided not to answer the question is that i have tried to not force my religious beliefs on anyone. and this question was asked of me in a theological setting. I did not ask you the question in relation to theology i asked it generally.

I have received more emails on this post than almost any other.

In general terms if i exclude theology i would say we are all good overall with a few nutbags and religious extreemists beheading folks and raping college girls and killing kids , and committing mass genocide all in the name of a religion i dont have the capacity to understand.

theologicly i think we are bad compared to a holy God.

Hope i did not offend.

snagley out.

run poop run

2008-03-04T13:40:00.000-06:00

I planted some grapes the other day, and some thorn less blackberries, a plum, peach, and another pear tree.
As the days are getting longer the chickens are starting to lay eggs again. Egg production is controlled by hours of sunlight. We are getting about 9 a day, they are starting to stack up.

Son #2 was at cub scouts they had a rep from some shooting club teaching them how to safely shoot air soft guns. The dude went on about how it is satisfying to shoot as a hobby and was going over trajectories and aim etc. Finally my son said.” Listen we don’t care anything about science we just want to shoot. They all laughed and shot air soft targets.

Don’t get me started about the election.
On one side we have hemorrhoids and on the other side we have a rectal abscess. Few people will vote for either one. Most people already have all the butt pain they can handle.

It is hard for me to feel good about either candidate on either side. They are all liars.
Both the democratic candidates are socialists. Playing off fears and class envy.
The Republican candidates are no better they aren’t socialists but they are liars. If you cannot believe someone on one simple issue you cannot believe them on complex issues.

People often complain about partisan ship in this country how each party fights the other on every issue. I say wonderful, if they did not keep each other from doing whatever they other wanted this country would now be bankrupt, morally and financially. Nothing has served the taxpayers better in this country than political polarization. Pray that it never ceases or the republic will fall.

In other news my Rooster (rusty butt) pooped this morning. The poop is more honest and probably more qualified to run this country than either of the parties candidates. So RUN POOP RUN.

Snagley out.

now i'm Broke

2008-02-26T19:14:00.002-06:00

800.00 latter I have water.

I got to looking while i was under the house.
part of the house was plumbed with irrigation grade pvc not schedule 4o.
there are three differnet size of water line from 3/4 to 1/2.
what a mess. it will cost me about 3 grand to replumb the house, which i aint gonna do.
so i will live with it.

let me ask a question. i went to a class at my church over the weekend, and i want to ask a question.
it relates to relative humanity. i am not asking this with any angle i honestly just want to know what you think.

do you think that people are

a. all bad
b. mostly bad
c. partly bad
d. partly good
e. mostly good
f. all good.

let me define good and bad.
bad means totaly depraved without hope, unable to do good
good means totaly good without any flaws unable to do bad.

and by this i dont mean are they good at scoccer work or sex. i am talking about overall goodness of humanity. not your Mother and not Ted Bundy. people overall and in general.

dont answer if you dont want to.

Snagley out.

Aaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh

2008-02-25T09:59:00.001-06:00

To preface this story
I worked as a plumber for 3 years out of high school
I worked as an air conditioning & heating mechanic for 7 Years.
I have replaced at least 50 water heaters over the course of my life.

I wake up Sunday morning and stumble to the sink to brush my teeth and hear water trickling on the floor. I trace it to the water heater in the closet where we keep the egg refrigerator (yes, I need a refrigerator for eggs). I see the hot water heater leaking water.
I shut off the supply line to the water heater, clean up the ½ inch of water on the floor, and go to church.

When I get home, I go to Lowe’s and buy one of their cheap hot water heaters and the necessary equipment to replace the water heater to the tune of around $400.00, and then I go home.

I drain the tank and cut the lines to the heater then I discover that the supply line to the hot water heater is ½ inch instead of the coded ¾ inch size, and that I now need a fitting to do it right. (Actually to do it right I would need to replace the entire ½ inch with ¾ inch water line, but I have no intention doing that.

I have purchased a new and better water shutoff for the supply line in ¾ inch size. So I crawl under the house to shut the water off. I turn the water supply cutoff to the whole house and then notice that the cutoff is leaking so I reach up with my open end adjustable wrench and tighten the packing nut. When I do I put torque on the supply lint union coming from the street and the rusted corroded pipe cracks and covers me with a huge spray of water. This break is before the regulator so I am covered with high-pressure water.

I go to the street with my 8 inch open end adjustable wrench (way too small) and cannot turn off the water so I say to son #2 run to the house and ask mom for the big wrench on the water heater. He runs in and says, “Dad needs the big wrench” leaving out (on the water heater). My wife who knows of my moods when a project has gone to hell in a hand basket, has absolutely no intention of coming out empty handed so she heads to the workshop to get every wrench in the place.

I see this chaos from the street and manage to turn off the water with my small wrench.
Now neither my family nor my parents have water

I go take another look and discover that the water is run from the street with PVC all the way under the house (it should be copper according to the code) what looks like epoxy was used to connect the metal pipe in the house to the PVC. This, gentle readers, is a disaster.

I call a plumber

Then I send my Wife to the grocery store to by water for my parents, and me
I hook up a water pump to the old well to fill up buckets so that we can flush the toilets and collapse in exhaustion.

I have not had a shower. The boys are peeing outdoors at the barn,( which they actually prefer), andnd the we are exclusively using paper plates and plastic silverware till the water is back on.

Any questions.

Snagley out

I got nothing

2008-02-18T15:18:00.004-06:00

I got nothing sorry, this is all i could come up with.

how is everyone
whats the weather like
what is your butt to length ratio. i wear a 38 waist and 32 length i dont think that is a good ratio but i make do with what i have.
what is the best time to plant grapes, and thornless blackberry plants
does your underwear ride up.
how does your stomach feel right now
are your toenails overgrown.
is there lent betwix your toes and or in your bellybutton
how is the air pressure in your tires.
what did you have for lunch
and last but not least how do you smell?

eccentricity or just plain nuts

2008-02-14T17:12:00.002-06:00

I was asked to write about some of the characters I know.

Growing up in the country in the 70s and 80s has left me knowing quite a few eccentric people.
The beauty of eccentricity is it allows one to not be constrained by the commonness of everyday people. It frees us up to be whatever is desired. However if you are to embrace eccentricity as a life style, you must be not only self-aware but also lack self-awareness. For if you take yourself to seriously then you view a life of eccentricity as the norm.

If you become eccentric to express your individuality then you become normal. Like someone who thinks they are rebelling against society by growing a goatee when everyone wears one.
One who is truly eccentric would never care if they are fulfilling a norm, or even realize that there is a norm. The truly eccentric person is only interested in being; anything else gets in the way of happiness.

I am trying to figure out whom to write about. It may end up being a dead uncle or something like that.
Look for that latter this week or first of next week.

In other news
I ran across that guy that I took to the Jimmy hale mission not too long ago.He has a job, an apartment and a nice used car.

Kid update

2008-02-12T12:18:00.000-06:00

My kids are home schooled, if you didn’t know. I like home schooling if you don’t; you are invited to remain silent. They are excelling. With home schooling we can cover the same amount of material that a normal classroom would in much less time. There is only one kid asking questions and only one kid doing any work so you don’t have to wait on the other kids to stop interrupting the teacher or deal with the distractions of giggling or pooting etc. We can go at their pace.

In some things my 9 year old is at a high school level and others he is a little behind. He is reading on a college level right now. He is currently reading The Hobbit. He is writing his second book; his first one is a book about how things were for Star Wars Jedi 3 million years before Luke Skywalker, he decided that he wants to publish his second one so he is having to come up with more original material so he is writing something about a fictitious planet and working his grandmother in as the evil queen and his grandfather as her loyal bumpkin. He is doing long division for math. He is a little behind in math but we want to anchor him in the foundations of math before confusing him with any advanced math. He has piano lessons weekly and has started writing music for his own songs. He enjoys doing anything with me, and loves climbing trees.

My 8 year old is behind on reading but is excelling at math. He can tell you the name, habitat and vital statistics of almost every animal, even the obscure ones that I have never heard of. He has he is starting to read longer books. He has a speech problem and if you have problems with speech you have problems with reading. He goes to a speech therapist weekly for two hours at great expense. We tried the speech therapist the local high school that our taxes pay for, they let him play board games and goof off for an hour a week for a year, and his speech did not improve. So we found a guy that works our sons behind off for two hour a week, and we have seen a huge improvement in his reading and his speech. He loves science and hates history unless the history involves some sort of battle or mud. The kid loves mud. He will go out anytime it is warm enough and take off all his clothes except for a pair of short pants and cover his self, head to toe with mud. Then he walks around out in the yard calling himself mud boy the super hero, and tries to hug everyone. Quite entertaining. He is saving his money right now for a pet rat. Yes a rat not a hamster gerbil etc. a rat.

My 6 year old is excelling at everything she tries. She is learning from her brothers and through osmosis. Plus she is bright anyway. She is also cute. She talks more than any other person I have ever seen. She is in first grade. She loves the Brady bunch and listening to me tell her stories. She almost always wears dresses, by choice, but loves to play in the mud and carry chickens around the yard. She desperately wants bunk beds, and wants us to adopt another 6-year-old girl so she will have a sister.

The Baby is 15 months old and weighs 26 lbs. He is running all over the place and tearing the house down. He has strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. Cute kid.

Message to loyal readers

2008-02-12T10:39:00.000-06:00

Loyal readers

the hard drive on my computer got eaten by a virus. i had a lovely post about my kids which is now history.
i am sorry i got disgusted and did not write a new one.
Kelwhy you are right i need to get on with it.
I will post latter today if at all possible.

Snagley out.

a person can pack a lot of living into 3 years

2008-02-06T14:13:00.001-06:00

well its been 3 years of sub par blogging on the part of bo snagley.
congratulate me please.

oh as a present to me please tell me what to blog about next.

Snagley out.

Breakfast at Svens

2008-01-22T13:01:00.000-06:00

I went to see my friend Sven the other day. I pulled up in front of his house and blew the horn. He came staggering out the door, wearing his bath robe, boots and was cursing under his breath. This is not typical for him he usually would never use profanity at all.
He was mumbling something about 4:00 being some ungodly hour to be blowing a horn.

I asked him if he was going hunting or not, he said he was but it would have been nice for me to invite him prior to 4:00 in the morning. His wife took this opportunity to turn the sprinklers on the both of us, this drove us to his workshop, the temperature was 28 degrees we did not want to ice up
.
Once in there we fired up his wood stove and put on some coffee. He apologized for his wife, he said she has been drinking too much coffee lately and it makes her irritable. I asked him if she would mind making us some breakfast. He winced and said that would not be the best idea.
He pulled his iron skillet out of his backpack and put it on the wood stove. I got some eggs out of the truck and he tiptoed into the house and got some bacon and bread. I fried us some bacon and eggs while Sven made some toast.

We sat around and ate breakfast and discussed life and other somewhat related topics.

While we were sitting there basking in the warmth of the fire drinking strong coffee he pulled out his Granddaddies shotgun, it’s a Damascus steel double barrel shotgun with rabbit ear hammers. The wood holds that dark oil finish and has the look of a working shotgun.

We reminisced about his Grandfather shooting it at dove shoots when we were 5 or 6 years old and out shooting most people there. We remembered when we snuck up to his outhouse when we were 12 and tried to tip it over. We were wondering why it was so heavy when his grandfather fired that shotgun through the roof and scared us to death. He was sitting in the outhouse at the time.

It cannot be fired with modern shotgun shells, so Sven is having some shells loaded for it by some gunsmith.

I remember when Mr. Johansson died. He left that gun to Sven. We were 13. Sven got that Gun and his Granddaddies hunting hat. I remember Sven carrying that gun, wearing that hat, both way too big for him, that day after the funeral.

We both wiped the tears from out eyes. I miss that old dude. He had a lot of time or kids, as most retired grandfathers do.

If you were wondering we went hunting and, of course, saw nothing.
Snagley out.

one frosty morning

2008-01-14T22:04:00.000-06:00

My Dad got a digital camera for his birthday. this is a picture of the pasture taken from beside his work shop.
it is in the morning one frosty morning. looks pretty doesn't it.

he had a 2 gig card for it. but he only takes about 5 pictures at a time. I told him it would hold almost 3 thousand pictures but who am I go give out technical advise.
Thought i would post it.
that brush is the center is what we call the plum thicket. there are some dead plum trees surrounded by privet hedges.

that brush to the left of that is whats left of the privet that i have been cutting on for about 4 years.

The cubs came out last weekend, we had a good time. there were about 50 total. it was chaos but i like chaos. We had a fire for hot dogs, and the kids rode the zip line and walked around on the barrel and played on the tire swings. One kid fell in love with the chickens. I love kids.

We are pursuing a home study to see if we would make fit parents for an adoption. Cross your fingers.

Winnifred is still a child acting like a child, about to have a child. she looks like she did only now she looks like she is hiding a watermelon in her shirt and cantaloupes in her bra.

Its been a year since my accident where got the dandy scar on my head. Oh how time flies when you are having headaches.

Snagley out.

its official i am a bad person

2008-01-09T18:32:00.000-06:00

OK here is my dilemma.
I like to think of my self as a giving generous person. I have just discovered that I am actually a bad person.

I have actually known it all along but it was verified on Christmas.
My side of the family draws names for Christmas. Its pretty much the only present I get so I look forward to it. We all try to be creative and think of the person as much as possible to get something that matches their personality. Last year I got a cool hunting jacket.

I opened my present this year and found that a donation was made in my name to my favorite charity. It reminded me of the episode of Seinfeld where a donation was made in your name to the human fund, a fictitious charity. But this one was real.

Now I was glad and all that,it is a good charity, but when I found out that I personally was not getting some stuff, I was disappointed. I wanted some stuff. Thus the dilemma and guilt.

So now that it is official that I am a bad person I invite each of you to point out further flaws in my character.

Such as

o I find most people annoying. There it is I said it. Most people really annoy me. Its not their fault I just have little patience for most people

o I spit a lot. My wife pointed this out as I took her on a date not long ago and spit on a bush outside of a Japanese restaurant. Did not even know I did it.

o I want both Alabama and Auburn to loose every game including the ones they play against each other. If I say this aloud someone might paint nasty sayings on my house, and heckle my wife and kids as they buy groceries.

o I eat peas with my knife.
o I eat peanut butter from the jar with a spoon
o I pick the lint from my navel while watching TV.
o Etc

As a bad person the pressure is now off I can be bad with impunity. I may now clip my toenails on my front porch, or dare I say wear my underwear on the outside of my pants.
The skys the limit.

Snagley out.

I resolve

2007-12-28T15:42:00.000-06:00

I resolve

I for the year of 2008 do resolve

To loose 25 pounds, granted it may be 25 pounds of rocks that I loose by skipping them into a lake but 25 pounds lost nonetheless.

Purchase some new underpants for myself. They will be boxer briefs and boxer shorts size 36 extra hung. They will have pictures of cartoon characters or smiley faces.

Do something nice.

Lobby for a constitutional amendment outlawing single ply toilet paper.

Jump down, turn around, and pick a bale of cotton.

Not get any of my personal skinnage caught in my zipper.

Tear down, and haul off, my fallen down barn. Anybody out there want to tear down my barn?

Pay Chuck’s wife to shave the University of Florida logo into the hair on Chucks back while he sleeps.

Go fishing

Collect my toe lint and use it to create a nice macramé hammock.

Take the family on a vacation to an undisclosed location that is quiet and slow, like me.

Purchase a new Jimmy Buffett Cd my last one was lost in the wreck of last year. It shall be “Songs you know by heart”

Ride a bike.

Get a shirt made that says, (Snagley for President, he cant be worse than the rest) and wear it to a caucus.

Write a letter to Britney Spears, using octopus ink, offering to let her spend the summer with the Snagleys and teach her some southern manners and some sense. She will be required to wear white cotton granny panties and long loose fitting pants with her navel unexposed at all times. She will also be asked to not be crazier that an outhouse rat. I am unsure that she will be able to do any of these things.

Adopt some kids. I found out I that my best bet is to adopt siblings groups if I intend to adopt locally.

Send the kids and Britney away for the weekend and run around the house with Mrs Snagley smooching and loving.

Get my Dad a load of firewood.

Skinny dip.

That’s about it. Snagley out.

Ok grade Snagley

2007-12-17T09:44:00.000-06:00

I thought i would take the quiz and let yall grade me.

1.How many times in the past 30 days have your picked your teeth with something not designed to pick teeth. Business card, toenail clipping, scotch tape etc.
I use Scotch tape in an emergency. No toe nail clippings.

2. Have you ever gone barefoot and stepped on a garden slug.
Too many times to count

3. Have you ever eaten a bug on purpose?
This one goes without saying. Yes

4. Have you ever taken a sip of moonshine?
Yes, one time I was hunting squirrells in some back woods and came upon a still. I was 14 years old. One of the old men in the circle fired a shot gun into the air and scared me to death. I never went back there again.
I used to walk the creek and find pint jars half full of moonshine. Smelling them would singe the hair in your nose.

5. Have you ever milked a cow or tasted fresh from the cow milk?
Both. Sometimes at the same time.

6. Have you ever stepped in manure
I once ran a manure spreader in a hay field and accidently had it set on high speed. It rained manure for about 30 yards and I was covered in it.

7. Have you ever picked beans bare foot in the mud?
I don’t own rubber boots for picking beans. I like the feel of mud betwix my toes.

8. Have you ever done something extraordinary
Define this however you like. I have.

9. Are you a member of something bigger than yourself
The Snagley family.

10. When you stand at the beach, and looked at the ocean and felt small.
I am small

11. Who is the most important person in the world?
It varies but it is usually my wife or one of my kids.

12. Who was the right tackle for the runner up at the 1982 rose bowl?
I hate football. I don’t even know how to look this one up.

13. How much does a hair cut cost?
10.00

14. Do you tip your garbage man?
No. don’t know if I should or not.

15. What is the definition of Giga-pixel?
One billion pixles

16. Would you ever consider going off the grid?
This means generating all of your own electricity and selling the excess to the power company. I have thought about it. It is expensive to set up.

17. How many inches can light travel in one year (in a gravity free vacuum)?
I hate leap year.
60.00 Seconds in a minute
3,600.00 Seconds in an hour
86,400.00 Seconds in a day
31,536,000.00 Seconds in a year
5,874,601,671,792.00 miles per year
31,017,896,827,061,800.00 Feet per year
372,214,761,924,741,000.00 inches per year

18. Who is your favorite
Garrison Keillor

19. What is your favorite
Fried egg sandwiches

20. How much does a date cost
My last date cost me about 50.00 dinner at a japanese stakehouse and coffee at a book store.

online quiz

2007-12-06T14:18:00.000-06:00

I have decided to make my own online quiz.
You post the answers and I will grade you on your responses.
if you dont like my grading procedures you are free to not like them.

1. How many times in the past 30 days have your picked your teeth with something not designed to pick teeth. Business card, toenail clipping, scotch tape etc.

2. Have you ever gone barefoot and stepped on a garden slug.

3. Have you ever eaten a bug on purpose?

4. Have you ever taken a sip of moonshine?

5. Have you ever milked a cow or tasted fresh from the cow milk?

6. Have you ever stepped in manure

7. Have you ever picked beans bare foot in the mud?

8. Have you ever done something extraordinary

9. Are you a member of something bigger than yourself

10. When you stand at the beach, and looked at the ocean and felt small

11. Who is the most important person in the world?

12. Who was the right tackle for the runner up at the 1982 rose bowl?

13. How much does a hair cut cost?

14. Do you tip your garbage man?

15. What is the definition of Giga-pixel

16. Would you ever consider going off the grid?

17. How many inches can light travel in one year (in a gravity free vacuum)?

18. Who is your favorite

19. What is your favorite

20. How much does a date cost

Snagg got tagged

2007-12-04T15:03:00.000-06:00

I was tagged by mox
Here you go.
if you have other questions for Snagley let me know

1. Are you really blogging anonymously, or is your real identity hidden somewhere on your site? I am really Bonaparte Oliver Snagley from Pooting Egret, Alabama

2. Why do you blog anonymously (or pseudo-anonymously)? Because there are too many nut job crazy people out there. Chuck for example

3. How many people know that you blog anonymously? One.

4. Do you have another blog(s) where you write under your real identity? No I just barely have this one.

5. Have you ever been discovered by someone you know? No, that I know of.

6. If you answered yes to #5, did they know they had discovered you? N/A

7. Have you ever thought about revealing your identity to your readers? No.

kids

2007-12-01T20:34:00.000-06:00

Oh my.

I am not telling any news today, I might latter, then again who knows what I may do.

Today gentle readers we are discussing a topic near and dear to my heart, my kids.

I do not post their real names because I don’t trust the Internet.
So I shall refer to them as Billy Bob, Mud Cat and Goosey.

Billy Bob is my oldest son. 9 years old and he is smart to a fault. He loves to read. He is writing a book. He loves the cub scouts and he loves me. He is a daddy’s boy. I love him dearly.
He is turning goofy, I mean really goofy. But if you can’t be goofy at 9 when can you.
He wanted to have an x-box so I told him to save his money and buy one. He did.
I pay him to do chores around the house. Like I would give him 25 cents to clean the back yard. He raised enough money to buy an x-box off eBay 25 cents at a time.

Mud Cat is my second son. He is a mess. I love him dearly. He prefers to be dirty; he has no time for things like putting his clothes on correctly. I have seen him with both shoes on the wrong feet, without socks his shirt on inside out and backwards with his pants on backwards too. He simply does not have time to be bothered with this stuff.
At church he heard about an orphanage. He did not know that there were kids out there without parents. So he started collecting aluminum cans. He sells them and gives the money to the orphanage. Well when word got out that a little 7-year-old boy was collecting cans and giving all the money to orphans, people started giving him cans from all over the place. 50-gallon drum liners full of cans start showing up all over my yard. Neither his mother nor I had anything to do with this. He did it on his own. As a matter of fact we did not know why all these cans were around the house till we saw him bringing home another garbage bag full of them. If he sees them in the trash he says “dad look someone threw away 3 cents”. He also wanted to buy a 22 rifle. I said ok raise the money, it took him a little over a year to raise the 134.00. He got within 12 dollars once and cried for me to make up the difference but I didn’t, and now he has earned it himself. We took him shooting Saturday he had a blast. If you don’t approve of kids shooting guns, keep it to yourself.

Goosey is my daughter she is 6 and all girl. She wears dresses most days. She is very tall for her age. The doctors say she will be a tall adult 6 feet or so. She loves the Brady bunch and dolls. She also loves mud. If talking were an Olympic sport she could be the anchor leg of the relay team. She is also beautiful. She loves to play Simon says and usually I trick her. She is also convinced that she is the smartest person on the planet, that she is surrounded by hordes of dufas.

Of course I also have a 12-month-old baby. He does not care for me very much. But he will warm up eventually.

I want some more kids. We cant have any more so we are starting the adoption process. We are looking at international adoption, and may also look at local adoption of a sibling group. If you don’t like large families keep it to yourself. I am tired of hearing it.

Do you know that recently a woman came up to my wife in the grocery store and told her that she felt sorry for her that she has no time for herself. She actually said think of what you could do if you did not have all these children to take care of. My wife was so hurt, and shocked, that she could not think of a response. I would have told her and the horse she rode in on to partake in a particularly unsavory practice I shant speak of here.

My wife is talented and she could be writing books and poems. We spoke of this once and she took me into the kid’s rooms and told me
“ Bo, there are my books, my poems, and my short stories. These are the labors that I longed for and this is the story I want to leave behind.’

Snagley out

life comes along

2007-11-14T17:42:00.000-06:00

Winifred has not taken my advice.
And blue butt painting does not pay well.
but if it pays anything it will be an astronomical raise for her.
If any of you have any experience at blue butt baboon communication correct me if I am wrong.

My baby is now 12 months old. He is a looker.
He has blue eyes and strawberry blond hair.

One of my best friends wife is dying.
Putting it in words makes me cry again.
When my wife had a biopsy about a year or more ago his wife had one too.
My wife’s turned out ok, his wife had a malignancy.
They fought it with surgery and chemotherapy.
And it is back. This time in her neck spine and shoulders.

This big strong man who has mentored me in many things, broke down with me and cried.
“What am I going to do when I wake up and reach across the bed and,,,,where is my wife., “
We both cried. He has a good marriage, and loves his wife dearly.

Life has a way of coming along doesn’t it?

Life is hard boys and girls. Damn hard.

I don’t want to miss any of it but it is hard.

IN other news
My poison oak is better I no longer itch.

Folks let me be honest with you. I am not a happy man right now. With all the crap I have been through in the last 6 weeks I am tired and worn out.
I need a break from all the anguish and frustration. I want a vacation. I am taking the second week of December off from work. Maybe I can recoup some of my old zing.
I don’t have much funny stuff to post about. I think life has just beat me down.

Try to bear with me. Surely I can get things going and be back to my old self at some point.

Oh, if you have boobs go get a mamogram right now. and give yourself a exam in the shower etc.
and send pictures

Snagley out.

i am not dead

2007-11-06T10:49:00.001-06:00

I am not dead.

I have some news then latter this week I have a “true” story for yall.

I have only named one shoe because the other one has not shown sufficient personality to justify naming.

The USS Alabama was fun. The boys climbed on every gun, into every bunk, in every room cubbyhole and bathroom aboard the vessel.

We slept pretty well; it was like being inside of a sawmill with a really bad echo. We had some world-class snorers going at it.

The bunks were three high. I was laying on the bottom bunk which was about 6 inches off the floor when a boy came running by and barfed on the floor about 18 inches away from my face. We got that cleaned up, and off we went into blissless slumber.

Then a kid behind me, earlier in the day, bought in the gift store a plaster rock with a fossil in it he accidentally pushed it off his top bunk about 2:30 am. Inside of a metal vessel it sounded like as if a Japanese battleship torpedoed us.

My oldest son joined our church Sunday, He and I went through an 8 week series about what it all means. He and I both enjoyed it, such things bring up the sort of conversations that kids enjoy and I relish. I gave him a new grown up bible Sunday morning. He was impressed. I love being a Daddy.

Winifred quit her job at Pizza hut. When I asked why, she said, “Someone was stealing my tips”.
I said well “ why did you not put it in your pocket or a fanny pack or your apron or your bra or some other equally inaccessible place.
Her response was “someone stole my apron”.
Then I explained that while now no one was stealing her tips now, she is also not getting any tips herself. I then gave her an invaluable tip. “Get a job and cling to it like grip death”. I told her if she could get a job that pays anything at all that she better keep it even if she is required to paint her butt blue and try to communicate with baboons.
We shall see.

In other news I went bow hunting the other day. Nothing.

For those of you who know about bows and wonder what I shoot
A Hoyt hyper Tec 70-80 lbs and I shoot 2413 29-½ inch arrows with muzzy 3 blades 125 grain. The bow is set at 78 pounds.

In yet other news.
I have poison oak again. Itch itch itch.

news

2007-10-23T12:11:00.001-06:00

Ok I am back again now. I should be able to post regularly now.
A quick update on Winifred
She said no to us. She found out that she could get 500.00 per month from the government for as support for being a single mom. Again, she thinks she has won the lottery. She found a house trailer in a trailer park for 250 per month, which includes utilities. So she has 250 left. She thinks this is plenty of money.
Again, see my heart, I don’t want to display Winifred as an idiot. She is just immature a child herself.

I just want this baby to have a chance.

In other news
I am going to have the opportunity to spend the night on the USS Alabama with the cub scouts. This should be good. There are about 60 people with our group. Should be chaos.

I have not been able to get much sleep lately; it is starting to get to me. I wake up tired and go to sleep tired. I need a vacation.

Bow season for deer has been upon us for two weeks; I have not been once, so again the deer are safe.

In my naming of things I have decided also to name other of my belongings.
They are as follows

Truck-----Pickemup Truckus Thor overture in G major.
Desk-----Pain in the posterior bonfire fodder alucious benny
Cell phone-----Mud Cat
Resident Chimpanzee-----Clarence white patch potent loins
Left shoe-----Billy Joe Jim Bob Corn Starch.
Tractor-----Sue.

In yet other news. I am planting turnip greens tomorrow if it does not rain.

Snagley out.

howdy

2007-10-18T19:41:00.000-06:00

sorry i have been away for so long.
My Dad is OK now. pacemaker has helped him to feel better and he is not in any immediate danger.

I am still coughing but not as bad and not as often.

I have spent the entire week in dothan Alabama.
I am not fond of dothan at present, I would rather be standing hip deep in the Nile river eating a big hunk of cheese, and whistling some quaint tunes from VanHalen 1.
that is only one of the things i would rather be doing right now.
another would be running across the country side chasing worms. but we rarely get to do whatever we want.

I got a new laptop computer it is about the size of a large laptop computer. i was working in a loan office and the laptop got repoed. i bought it for about 1/4 of what it is worth. i shall name it Pappa Big Daddy Scar on the noggin Potent Loins after myself. or pbdsnpl for short.

please leave a comment

Snagley out.

news

2007-10-08T12:09:00.000-06:00

sorry no time for real post.
Dad in hospital getting pacemaker
we have all had stomache virus and sick as dogs
going out of town soon
sorry more latter.
Snag

Snagley goes to the doctor

2007-09-28T16:45:00.000-06:00

As you know old Snagley has been sick. I have been to a ton of doctors and finally I went to another non-clinic doctor. I have been going to the doc in a box clinics but my wife insisted because I have been coughing for 6 months.

I go in and the receptionist meets me and tells me that they have interns in today and if I am willing to have the doctor train an intern during my visit they will waive my co-payment. So me the ever-cheap Snagley said ok.
I go in and they said ok put on this. It was one of those aprons your momma used to wear when she made jelly and did not want to stain her clothes. I said I don’t know why you want me naked to check out my lungs. They said just put it on Mr. Snagley. So, I did.

I am sitting there on this table with a paper tablecloth on it. I am sitting there in my drawers and this apron. My drawers are tasteful they are boxer shorts with the Tasmanian devil on them, quite charming. I sit there and the doctor comes in. he explains the deal with the interns and that one of them will be in momentarily and if I change my mind that the intern will leave. Well this is going to save me 25.00 so I say that I am ok with it.

Then in walks this girl that is younger than my Tasmanian devil underpants. Her name was Kailie. She is wearing a pair of scrubs that were about a size too small for her. She looks like a model or something. I did not have this in mind when I signed up for this, I pictured some guy with glasses who would come in and stand in the corner. Not some hot chick. I am instantly uncomfortable. Naturally I am afraid that she will find me attractive and then be ruined for all other men, I have no time for stalkers. I have that physique that women like her find irresistible, you know, balding, little muscle tone, a potbelly in the making, a farmers tan, and calloused hands.

The doctor said ok Mr. Snagley lets listen to your heart and I had to take off my apron. The intern looked me over and said,”nice underpants”. I said, “yes I know”.
She went on to tell me that her dad has a pair just like them; it is weird how these college girls flirt isn’t it. Then she pulled out a magnifying glass and went over me from stem to stern. She told me that she is aspiring to be a dermatologist because there are few calls in the middle of the night where someone needs a dermatologist.
I will not go into the examination in all its gory detail, but suffice to say they got their 25.00 worth.
At one point I was nude as a nightingale and checked head to toe, with considerable lingering in the middle.
Oh well I got to keep my 25.00.
I tried to let her go easy, as I left I said. Do I have to sign anything? And she said “no.”
Hope she doesn’t stalk me.

Snagley out.

dont chop anything

2007-09-26T13:49:00.000-06:00

Dont chop anything

I heard these words on a Christmas after I had had 11 trips around the sun.
I received an axe for use on camping trips that I imagined myself taking.
It was a beautiful axe. It had a short handle and a cool sheath that covered the blade.

It was perfect for packing in a backpack and using for most chores.
I knew from all the old crusty mountain men that I knew that if you were lost in the wilderness if you had an axe you could take care of your self for any period of time.
It would be nice to have a gun and of course a knife and a tent would make life a little easier, oh and maybe 70 pounds of pork and beans, and perhaps some water would be nice too, but you had to have an axe, and now I had one.

The first thing I did was, sharpen my axe. It came with a blade about as sharp as a hubbard squash, and any good 11 year old knows that will not do. I sharpened my axe until it would shave the hair off of my 11-year-old arm.
I demonstrated this to my mother; she sighed, and wandered off mumbling that she should have taken a pill. I never did understand

I immediately went out in the yard searching for something to chop. I found a power pole my father had erected in the back yard to supply electricity to his workshop. I gave it a whack. A large piece of wood flew from the pole. Moments latter a large piece of wood flew to my behind. Dad had spotted me whacking the pole and had picked up a piece of wood from his work shop and snuck up behind me and popped me a good one.

I decided to search for a better source of chopping. Dad pointed to a tree in the pasture that he did not particularly like and told me to go cut it down.
I found out latter he pointed it out thinking that it would keep me busy for the better part of the summer.

The tree in question was a sycamore tree. It was 8 feet around and was shading a large portion of a hayfield. For those of you who do not know shade is not good on a hayfield. And Sycamore trees produce an annoying amount of balls the size of golf balls that cause problems on certain hay bailers namely ours. It is also hard.

I attacked the tree with a fervor that can only be described as the passion of an 11-year-old woodsman. After about an hour I had a notch carved in the tree about the size of a ham sandwich. As a matter of fact Fat Head Murphy my next door neighbor came over and told me “Boy you been chopping on that tree all day and have cut a notch smaller that this ham sandwich I am eating”. I thanked him and went back to chopping.
After two weeks I finally made a notch large enough for a drink of water and that notch to this day holds a glass jar that the tree has grown to.

Latter I accidentally chopped up some azaleas, a close line pole, a barn door, and the string that held together some round bales of hay. Then somehow the axe disappeared. I assume I lost it, at least that is what mom said. When I was 25 it reappeared when I was trying to clear off a fencerow and had broken the handle of a friendly double bitted axe. Oddly I had managed to misplace it all those years ago in the back of my mother’s closet.
It has proved to be quite useless in cutting wood. It is as if Excalibur had been reduced to a butter knife. It is too small and too short to really fell trees or brush, so I figure I will give it to my son when he is old enough to handle an axe. I am sure I will tell him

“don’t chop anything”.

Snagley out.

Tired snagley

2007-09-20T07:29:00.001-06:00

Folks I am tired.

Last night my baby had seizures from a rapid fever. We were at the hospital till late in the night. Luckily it was nothing serious but scared us to death.

My wife talked to Winifred. She agreed to think about us adopting the baby. We asked her to say no if it were no so we would not have to worry over it. She has said nothing so far. It could be she is thinking it over. Most likely she is putting it out of her mind.

Humor has left my body. But I could use a good laugh. Anybody got a good joke.

My son has built the karunket house in the back yard out of scrap lumber. He named it the karunket house of his own volition. (A karunket is a hind end). It is a sight to behold, or maybe just a site. It is about 2 ½ feet high and 4 feet wide, with a door with hinges. It is a project to work on. And we all need projects.

In other news. I am still sick I have bronchitis.

In yet other news, people are reading my archives and commenting all the time. It seems I am getting more comments off the archives than new posts. It figures as I have defiantly lost my edge.

Anybody want me to post on anything in particular?

Snagley out

they are kids. leave them alone.

2007-09-18T09:14:00.000-06:00

What is the deal with all these infidels seeking children to have sex with?
What about a 5-year-old girl could possibly interest a grown man.

We are a depraved, sick, disgusting people when adults can seek children as sex partners and even trade our children as commodities for the sick demented minds of today.
As often as people get arrested for this, and we hear about it daily, there must be tons of it that go unreported.

I think it is time for the punishment to be cruel and unusual for this crime against humanity. No dignified executions for this crime. Nothing bordering on civil.

I can think of several fitting punishments, slow punishments, that would prevent this “slime that forms on the bottom of leaky sewer pipes found under piles of rotting rats”, excuse for a US Prosecutor from ever committing acts such as on our innocents again.
Death is not involved.

I was abused as a young child. Don’t any of you ever tell me this is not abuse?
Don’t tell me that US Prosecutors should not be held to a higher standard, and don’t tell me that their punishments should not be ten fold as severe as a normal puss maggot.

I am a simple man, I strive to stay simple, and I am just a little old country boy, raising children of my own. People wonder why I never turn my back on my kids. Why I don’t trust anyone with them.

People these are children, physically immature children. Surely you can find some way to get your jollies other than molesting children.

And people if you cannot find another way to get your jollies off than molesting children. Find you a millstone (that is a big rock for those of you who don’t know) take a boat out in the ocean to a deep abyss (one several miles deep) tie it to your neck and jump in. It would be better for you, than to hurt one of these children.

All questions in this article are rhetorical and not meant for you to answer.

Snagley out.

why idiots steal copper

2007-09-14T11:33:00.001-06:00

Copper theft is up because the price for scrap copper has risen above a dollar a pound. This means that someone can steal the copper water pipes under your house and the coils out of air conditioners and make a fairly good haul.

When I was an air-conditioning mechanic I used to scrap any old ac units that I replaced, back then the cost was less than 70 cents a pound. An average ac unit back then would yield me about 30 dollars.

So you can see if someone wanted some quick money they can find an empty house and with some bolt cutters clean out the copper in less than an hour and be gone.

A local idiot a few years ago climbed a high-tension power pole and tried to cut down some power lines. He was found after the power was reported out burnt to a cinder. It happens all the time where someone will try this at a sub station and die
And lately in Alabama, rural churches are getting hit because they do not have someone on guard or onsite every day.

They are starting to crack down hard in Alabama because of the frequency of theft. Also in the summer it seems that the elderly are hit more often and they can least afford to replace it and are at the highest danger without air conditioning.

Well you asked.

Snagley out.

back to winifred

2007-09-12T08:34:00.001-06:00

Snagaloo was a bust, it has been canceled because of lack of interest.

Ok back to Winifred.

Top 5 things that are grieving me for this baby.

1. I found out she has a drug use history.

2. Winifred has a GED and no plans on any further education

3. Winifred has never been responsible for her own well being much less a Childs.

4. No job ,,, I have tried in the past to help her get a job. There is a local University here in Birmingham that has a world-class hospital. The custodians get paid well and have insurance plus a chance for advancement and retirement etc. I told he to go apply. I told her I would go with her to apply. I told her I would drive her. She could even take classes there in the future should she decide to. I think that hearing me say drive downtown and apply for a job is overwhelming to her. I think I could say to her float in the air like a pink balloon and she would think of each as equally difficult.

5. The father is a drug addict who is currently in jail for stealing copper. He has had so many drug convictions that bail has been set rather high. He may be in jail for a long time.

I try to have a non-condemning stance on most things, for “there but for the grace of God go I”.
And believe me at 19 years old had a woman paid enough attention to me to allow it, I could have fathered a baby myself at that young age.
I am physically grieving for this baby.
Things happen and with most people, life comes along, and when it does there is no reason to give that person grief but to love them. That is what I am attempting to do with Winifred. However, I think that the needs of this child come first. I want this baby to be loved and get all the care and attention it can. I don’t believe that the baby will get that with Winifred. She still wants to be a little girl and do little girl things.

My heart wants to adopt the baby so badly that I am in pain and sleeplessness. My wife and I want this baby so badly, but we are torn about creating a family schism, and are unsure about all the drama that will come from the years of association with Winifred and her family.
I have not approached Winifred or her parents yet about this. I have found out all the information from lawyers as to the intricacies, and costs of private adoption.
I am a man of action, I am 40 now and will only live, at best, 40 more, and at worst I have about 19 seconds.
Life is to damn short to have any regrets,

Snagely out

Boogaloo

2007-09-10T07:58:00.000-06:00

What is boogaloo i was asked recently.
well here you go.
I think i will host the first annual Bo Snagley Boogaloo dance contest SNAGALOO
Chuck is excluded for obvious reasons.
He is welcome to attend just not dance. Maybe he could be the Snagaloo MC sort of like Don Cornelius

Click Below
Boogaloo

Snagley out.

in this land of fun and sun, we dont flush for number one.

2007-09-06T08:15:00.001-06:00

I noticed a problem with young children and the bathroom.

First have any of you with small children noticed the incomprehensible aversion to flushing the commode.

For a while at my house I thought my wife had bought a yellow tidy bowl dispenser.

Of course this is nothing compared to walking into the bathroom to discover number two and no toilet paper in the bowl.

I at first started quizzing the kids one at a time, “did you wipe your hind end when you went to the bathroom”. Then all the kids lie and say “Yes sir:

So now I just gather them together and tell them to go and wipe anyway. I sure am not checking to find the offending behind; fatherhood has got to have some limits.
So now have them flushing the commode, I did this by calling them all together and showing them two fingers of my right hand my middle finger and my fore finger and lower them in a rapid motion. This is the motion of someone flushing a toilet.
Whenever I see them coming from that end of the house I make that motion, they sigh, turn around and go flush the commode.
The problem with this is I don’t know who is wiping and who is not. Alas, and I am not checking.

The other problem is when I am in a hurry and go in and find little boy tinkle all over the toilet seat.
I at one time threatened to make them dig an outhouse in the woods and make them go there, but my wife would not let me do it.

My middle son is not the culprit I think, the reason I say this is he considers the entire world as his toilet. I can look out side and he will be sending a stream against any tree, bush, high blade of grass, or just standing in the middle of the yard creating an arc higher than himself. I did finally get him to stop pulling his pants down to his ankles when he pees in the yard. Remember I live out in the country. Anyone that is not at my house would not know. Having said that I am trying to break him of this habit as he does have a sister who, at this age, does not need an advanced degree in little boy bathroom habits.

Sorry all this talk about the bathroom has reminded me of something. I got to go

Snagley out.

If I could i would

2007-09-05T08:35:00.000-06:00

If I could I would
Or
If I had the time I would

1. Quit my job in favor of one that allows me more time with my family.
2. Adopt some more kids.
3. Fence in my pasture and raise more animals
4. Tear down my barn and build another one.
5. Take a weeks vacation for each of my kids.
6. Slap my wife on the butt and call her baby. (Ok, well I am doing that one)
7. Make it mandatory that anyone graduating from college works a labor job for one year.
8. Make my own wine.
9. Grow a beard like those guys in ZZTOP or maybe like Jeremiah Johnson
10. Rent a dump truck and a front-end loader for a weekend to get rid of some old farm stuff at my place.
11. Learn Greek and Latin. (I start this one every couple of years)
12. Twist again like we did last summer
13. Put a billion dollar prize for the first company to come out with a safe cigarette.
14. Do cub scouts as a full time job.
15. Run naked in the sweet dew of the morning,
16. Invent some comfortable underwear
17. Build a new compost bin.
18. Syndicate my Ask Snagley into newspapers worldwide.
19. Collect all of my toenail clippings for the next 20 years and use them to construct a monument in the likeness of Larry, Moe, and Curley in Washington DC as a tribute to the great thinkers housed therein.
20. Come up with some viable alternatives to Middle Eastern oil, and then fart in their general direction.
21. Work in an orphanage a couple of days a week and rock the kids in a big rocking chair and sing to them.
22. Tinkle on Chucks flower garden
23. Drag my sorry hind end back to college and finish.
24. Buy a bass boat.
25. boogaloo

What do you think

2007-08-29T12:58:00.001-06:00

Well I reread my most recent post and it made me look like Mother Theresa. Or Pappa Snagley.

Sorry. I ain’t

My family member who we will call Winifred is pregnant. She is 19 and lives with her parents. The babies father is in jail for stealing copper. He has had so many drug offences that they made bail fairly high, so he will sit there till his trial. She has quit her job at the Win Dixie bakery because it is too hard. In her parent’s house live 2 cats and 4 dogs, none of which are what you would loosely term house broken.
I asked her what her plans are and here are her responses.

Snagley: So what are you going to do?

Winifred: I am going to be a stay at home mom.

Snagley: How do you plan to fund this endeavor?

Winifred: Oh Daddy is going to sue the sperm donor and make him be responsible for what he has done

Snagley: I see, I see. You do realize that he is in jail and that the most he has ever made is 15000 in one year. Never sue poor people. He ain’t got nothing to sue for.

Winifred: Yeah but he did this to me and he has got to pay me something.

Snagley: You do realize that you did play some part in this impregnation. As I understand it your girlie parts had to be present, willingly, without protection in order for this merging of fluids to take place. Or do you not know where babies come from.

Winifred: Yeah, but he has to pay something.

Snagley: I have a young lady at my office whose ex-husband pays her a total of 40 dollars a week. So I am a little unsure where the 1000.00 a month figure comes from. And where exactly are you planning on living

Winifred: Daddy said a thousand a month. And I am going to live with mom and daddy.

Snagley: I see and where do you plan to put the baby.

Winifred: Oh it will stay with me.

Snagley: Among the cats and dogs?

Winifred: yes I love animals.

Snagley: I see.

I give up gentle readers. I tried to get her a job.
Her parents have no freaking clue as to what to do with her.

Am i being too judgemental? please be honest

if this were an mature women who was making some plans for her and her child i could get behind that.

I get the feeling that she thinks she won the lottery and this baby is her ticket.

But, I am concerned about her ability to care for the baby as well. I will post that conversation latter.

The saga will continue.

Snagley out.

in other news

2007-08-24T17:22:00.000-06:00

Last weekend i went snake hunting.
On the hunting land me and some friends lease there is a creek that wanders through it. and it is full of cotton mouths.
So me and another idiot put on some rubber boots and waded the overgrown creek looking to shoot some snakes.
I can honestly say that if you could have seen some of the places we waded into ,beaver dams, log jams, muck, mire some of the snakiest places I have ever seen you would have had a stroke. We saw a bunch of snakes and turtles and deer etc but I ended the wretched lives of no snakes.
I did wear myself completely out.

in other news.
I am walking down the street and i see a twenty dollar bill on the ground. No one is around and it is a deserted street. no buildings etc. I walk about a mile further with the 20 and see a guy in an advanced stage of poverty. He was dragging a little red wagon with 3 wheels. He had a shaggy beard.

I nodded said hello and handed him the 20.
He said thanks and we started talking.
He is 10 years younger than i.
He is a combat veteran from Iraq.
He came home and found his wife with another man. They split and she took everything of value, which he said was very little.
His parents died years ago and he is an only child.
Needless to say he had no job.
he does however have a college degree in business administration from Auburn University.
He said after the divorce he just started walking and has been ever since.
3 years of walking.

I ended up driving him to the Jimmy Hale Mission and getting him setup with some decent clothes so he can get a job interview.
The guy does not drink and does not use drugs (he was tested for drugs).
He said he just did not know what to do and did not know how to start.
The guy at the mission told me that if he really wants some help he will get it.
He said he can have a bed till he can get an apartment. there are some in south side that are cheap.
I hope this guy gets it together. I ended up giving him some more money. (I am a soft touch. I have been broke with no food)
He was a nice guy. After a shave and a haircut he looked like a any 30 year old guy just skinnier and more worn.
life does have a way of beating us down doesn't it.

In yet other news.
I am only getting 4 to 7 eggs a day now 104 degree heat will do that to a feathered animal

And in yet other news.
I am seriously thinking of adopting a kid. I may end up adopting internationally.
I know some of you think i am nuts for wanting a big family. but so what. Its my life, damn it, my kids are pretty well adjusted. and i think that some baby in a foreign country whos future consists of either slavery, forced prostitution or death,. might just not mind living in rural alabama with 4 other kids, and a bunch of chickens.

SNagley out.

survey

2007-08-22T12:42:00.000-06:00

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There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

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PERSONALITY
You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.
As for specific personality traits, you are religious (93%), romantic (71%), intellectual (70%), horny (58%).

STEREOTYPES
Young Professional (80%)
College Student (73%)
Old Geezer (67%)

LIFE EXPERIENCE
Sex (40%)
Substances (5%)
Travel (29%)

POLITICS
Your political views would best be described as Conservative, whom
you agree with around 71% of the time.

SOCIOECONOMIC
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Lower Middle Class.
You make more than 93% of those who have taken this test,
and 35% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
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Plum Pulp

2007-08-22T07:13:00.000-06:00

Recently i ate a plum.

a store bought plum, i am more in favor of the wild ones that grow in the back pasture.
anyway, i got plum pulp stuck in between my front teeth.

I was having one of my fits, mulling over pulling one of the teeth to get the pulp out, as i was quickly being driven crazy by the offending pulp, when i spotted the scotch tape on my desk.

I whipped out a 4 inch section and used it as floss.

Now my question to you is. Should i seek counseling or is this normal behavior.

my second question is. What is scotch tape adhesive made from, i am hoping it is not fish intestines or Barbara Streisand spittle or something equally offensive.

Snagley out.

happy anaversary

2007-08-17T10:11:00.000-06:00

I have been married to my wife for 13 years now we had our anniversary last week. A young friend asked me what advise I had for him on his impending marriage. I wont share that with you, as I don’t provide unsolicited advice anymore.
Your welcome.
I love my wife, we have had some rocky times but don’t we all. My desire is to spend more time with her.
My folks have been married 67 years. if we make it that long I will be 94 and most likely when I am 94 I will be dead.
But I would love to spend 67 years with her.

Theres something in the way she moves,
Or looks my way, or calls my name,
That seems to leave this troubled world behind.
If I'm feeling down and blue,
Or troubled by some foolish game,
She always seems to make me change my mind.

and I feel fine anytime shes around me now,
Shes around me now
Almost all the time.
and if I'm well you can tell that shes been with me now,
and shes been with me now
Quite a long, long time
And I feel fine

Let it be a long long time, for sometimes lifetimes are just too short.

oh yeah, Bo Snagley likes James Taylor too.

Snagley Out

What now.

2007-08-14T15:12:00.000-06:00

what should i post on.
and why.

this is also an ask Snagley post.
so ask me a question, i will answer it honestly.
in the past i have answered questions on quantum physics, buttermilk, goat droppings, and my choice of underpants.

Snagley out.

Belch

2007-08-13T12:16:00.000-06:00

BUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPP!!

Excuse Me!

withdrawn

2007-08-03T08:44:00.000-06:00

I spoke to my afore blogged rooster last night.
I am afraid that i threw his proverbial hat into the ring without contacting him first.
he has indicated that the stresses of public office and the paparazzi trailing him and his harem of hens would distract him from his duties as head rooster at historic and scenic Snagley Acres.

I apologise for my rant.
I am, however frustrated by the state of our politicians in this country at present.

Maybe a rooster as president is not the best solution.

In the mean time I think i will jsut plant some turnip greens and call it a day.

I will be going out of town again next week.

Snagley out.

rusty butt for presdent

2007-08-02T16:12:00.000-06:00

This is a chicken gentle readers.

The one in the center is a rooster. (male chicken for you city folk){it doesn't lay eggs}

that handsome svelte shadow happens to belong to me farmer snagley.

I have a family member in law working for me now.

Previously he was about as useful as boobages on a boar hog.

but he seems to be working out somewhat.

In other news. I have decided to throw this roosters hat into the presidential ring.

He seems to have the qualities that voters look for. He breeds prolifically with 16 hens. and he makes no sense at any time.

Our current candidates Hillary and obama currently only have one thing on this rooster that may appeal more to voters.

My Rooster "Rusty Butt" has a name that does not exactly inspire confidence. I am considering changing his name to Clueless Power-Hungry McCrooked.

If anyone has any doubt that any current candidate including and excluding Hillary and obama are not crooked. When i say crooked i mean they don't care about the people of this country beyond getting elected. Both of the aforementioned candidates will tax our broke butts off and then redistribute it to their special interest groups causes. if you think otherwise then pull your head out of the sand.

IF all a candidate can say is i am not as big of a horses hind end as my esteemed opponent then find someone else to vote for. and good luck with that.

Anyone who has enough intelligent is too smart to run for office. anyone who has enough integrity to be president does not want to sully themselves by association.

and what amazes me is that people just flock to these idiots as if they have the answers.
Let me set all who can read straight. your choices this next election are diarrhea and hemorrhoids.
any choice you dont want and you can bet they will be a pain in the butt.

So lets save us all some trouble this year and vote for a oversexed rooster. I guarantee he wont raise taxes. he may make a mess of the oval office but if we cover the floor with straw everything will be ok.

Rusty Butt for President

songs a breif review

2007-07-30T11:10:00.000-06:00

I was recently asked to name some of my favorite songs.
I am not really a music fan. I can’t listen to it in the car it muddles my mind and I cant think. Or it makes me think of stuff I don’t want to think about.
But there are some songs that I like to hear.

Jimmy Buffett. He went to Paris.
I used to listen to this when I was in college and think this will never happen to me. I will actually save the world and, I will not get distracted by French wines and cheeses I will stick to my guns and make this a better place. I guess I blew that one. I have become distracted by the things that I never thought I would. I swore I would never work in an office. And here I sit with my butt grown to the chair. I always thought I would live in a far off country making life and eternity better for whatever tribe or people group I was around. Guess I blew that one too. (This might be a good time for that mid-life crisis)

Jimmy Buffett. A Pirate Looks at 40.
“Yes I am a pirate, born 200 years to late. The cannons don’t thunder there’s nothing to plunder I’m an over 40 victim of fate, arriving too late, arriving too late”.

Aaaarrrrrrr.

Johnny Cash. I Walk the Line
As sure as night is dark and day is light

I keep you on my mind both day and night

And happiness I've known proves that it's right

Because you're mine, I walk the line

Cool song.

4. Brick House, The Commodores
Do I have to explain?

5. Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy. Big and Rich
It just cracks me up. If I was 16 I doubt if I would listen to anything but this song. Luckily I am not 16.

I purposely left out Happy Birthday , whenever I mention this is my favorite song people start emailing me telling me how pitifully i am

Snagley out

Dad

2007-07-27T10:19:00.000-06:00

As some of you gentle readers know my parents live with us.
Dad is 86 and mom is 82.
They live in a garage apartment beside our home seem to like it.
If they did not live there they would be in assisted living somewhere.

I am writing this to put my words in front of me.

Dad is not in his right mind all the time. It is not horrible like dementia or anything.
Some times he is fine, like the man I grew up with.
Sometimes he is not in his right mind.
He will let small things get in his head and cannot let them go.
For instance I had a tree grow up in a drainage ditch in the pasture.
I cut it down and dug up the roots, I drug the stump and the tree to the back of the pasture and put it on the brush pile. For weeks after I did this he was convinced that he needed to hire someone to get the tree out of the drainage.
He called the county and had them come look at the ditch. They of course told him it was fine, this got him all riled up.
I put him in my truck and drove him to the ditch and showed him. I then drove him to the brush pile and showed him again.
It took two weeks of reminding him till he finally stopped trying to hire the job done.

I know that for an 86-year-old man this is ok. It is hard, however, to see this man, who has always been so strong and with it mentally go through this. I also know that it ain’t gonna get any better, ever.

I believe it is my responsibility to take care of my parents as they age. I also know at some point he will die and I will have to deal with this and then somehow support my mother through it all.

Mom is fine mentally. She goes swimming every morning and eats right. She gets out and runs the weed eater. And works in the garden some. But she gets worn down listening to Dad ramble about things some times.

I am not going to do anything about this. There is nothing to be done. I just listen to him and try to make him comfortable. I try to enjoy him as much as possible. I listen to his World War II stories and wish I could have known him back in those days. He was 46 when I was born.

Getting old sucks there is no doubt about it. But in most cases it beats the alternative.

Snagley out

Snagley update

2007-07-24T11:08:00.000-06:00

My wife just called.
She is canning tomatoes today. She has two buckets of tomatoes to can today.
She has put up 47 quarts of green beans and is just starting to can salsa.
She made some peach salsa, which is excellent.
I love her a lot, I would love her if she couldn’t do all that cool stuff,
The baby who is now 8 months old is pulling up on the furniture now.
She is teaching him sign language. He has learned how to say thank you, which is pretty good for an 8 month old.

My oldest boy is into pushups and sit-ups now. He does 110 push-ups and 110 sit-ups each evening. I am teaching him how to do them where you put your feet on something like a bench and do them with your legs elevated. He likes a challenge. I was unloading some Chicken feed the other day and had to stop to tend to something else and he carried a 50pound bag 70 yards to my workshop before I could get back. He doesn’t need to be carrying stuff like that but I was impressed. He is 9 years old and weighs about 75 pounds.

My middle boy is saving aluminum cans. His grand father collects them for his church. He is paying my boy a penny apiece for each can. My son gives the money to an orphanage. He saw a video about the orphans and how they need some money so he is doing this now. Several communities are not saving cans for him to sell to his grandfather, people get motivated by the selfless act of a 7 year old child.. Now I know he could get more for them if he sold them to the recycle center but this way several people are blessed. My middle son came up with this on his own neither I or his mother prompted him.

My daughter is learning to read now. She is doing really well. She is involved in the summer reading program at the library. If I read to her or if she reads something on her own she gets to log the pages and gets a prize of a free book or some kind of toy. She is having a good time.

The chickens are well. I get about 6 eggs a day, which is not too bad considering the heat and the drought. The rooster is driving the hens crazy. He is breeding with them to distraction.

Our garden is doing well; it has provided everything for the salsa including the basil and other herbs. She only had to by salt and sugar this time. We are thinking of installing more raised beds for next year they have worked out excellently. I think if I add two more then we can plant all of our beans and onions and maybe peas in the raised beds then have more garden space for things like corn, and tomatoes.

In other news; I am thinking of trying to buy an older car or truck and let the boys clean it up and have it painted ect and then sell it. I want to get the boys started in their own businesses as early as possible so that they can start making some real money. There is nothing quite as rewarding as having a 7 and 9 year old making some serious coin selling cars with their dad.
Got to go

Please leave me a comment if you have time. It gets lonely out here.

Snagley out.

I am back

2007-07-20T09:47:00.000-06:00

for now the sale is saved.

but i am now also busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

speaking of which in a butt kicking contest i think that if Chuck will provide the butt i will provide the foot.

more latter

Snagley out

going out of town

2007-07-11T14:26:00.001-06:00

i will be out of town next week maybe the week after that too.
the largest sale of my companys life is trying to fall apart.
SO. i am going to try to hold it together.

In the mean time i will throw out a conversation starter please everyone comment on it for me, I will read it when i am out of town and may be able to post.

1. Paris Hilton's mama never spanked her. (pure speculation on my part)

for those of you who by personality leanings are forbidden from speaking of Paris Hilton.

2. I shot a three shot group the other day at 100 yards with my .308 that i can cover with a quarter.

and lastly

3. Burlap toilet paper

Snagley out

Happy Birthday Bo Snagley

2007-07-09T07:17:00.000-06:00

Today is my birthday.
The big 40
Wish me well
Snagley out

Happy 231 from Cousin Buck

2007-07-06T13:27:00.000-06:00

I have a cousin, Buck, that is as equally dumb as he is worthless.
He is 36 years old and lives in his mother’s basement. He still has Van-Halen posters on his wall and has his high school football trophies on a shelf above his bed. He works for a construction company framing houses and stays fired more that he works. He will work for a while then show up drunk and cuss out the boss, get fired then sober up and come back begging for his job. He is a piece of work.

Aside from all the obvious he is not a bad sort, he loves my kids, and he loves fireworks. Every year he borrows against his car title and buys enough fireworks to stage a reenactment of the writing of the star spangled banner. He comes over to my house to set them off, so he can hear my kids laugh and scream.
This year is no different. He showed up with a pick up truckload of fireworks.
He had everything from snap-pops that you throw at the ground to anti aircraft batteries large as sewer pipes, and a cooler of beer that he sneaks in every year thinking we don’t know he has it.

He has that unbridled enthusiasm that only comes with 20 years of being 16 years old.
Annually the family gathers at my house for a day of fun and frivolity, which culminates mightily with Cousin Buck firing off his display. He sets up a table in the pasture and sneaks his Milwaukee’s Best all afternoon.

Well he set up yesterday and was having a grand old time prepping his fireworks. Most of my family will have nothing to do with alcohol of any type. So he kept to his self in the pasture under the guise of setting up the evening’s displays. He had this one that he carried around with him all afternoon. It was called hells bells. It was a giant tube. It looked like a basketball could have fit down into it without touching the edges. He said it was the finale. He said it cost him 92 dollars. He also said he planed to plant tomatoes in it after he fires it. I suspect that he plans to plant something in it but I doubt its tomatoes.

After everyone is fed and dusk begins to fall on quiet, historic Snagley Acres, Buck gets wild. He starts firing off small fire cracks by the hundreds. All we can see is smoke and flashing lights as they pop in the night. Occasionally we can see a glowing lighting stick. Buck is now firing off huge skyrockets they are lighting up the sky. He is about half lit himself at this point.

It was about that time that I noticed that the span between explosions started to grow. I then noticed that the light stick was shaking more that it should. So I walked down to see what was happening. Buck was not half lit as I had supposed he was completely lit. He could not keep the lighting stick still enough to light the fuse on the fireworks. He would stab the glowing stick at the fuse and by process of time and fate eventually light the fuse. I asked him if he would like some help and he said no, and then ran me off as a 36 year drunk teenager would be prone to do.

He fumbled through the rest till it came to hells bells. He stood on the table and announced its greatly anticipated arrival. The elder members of the delegation watching the display did not realize that Buck was drunk and cheered along with him. Buck then fell off the table, got up and pulled out his Zippo lighter. He lit the fuse to hells bells staggered backwards knocked the enormous firework over and promptly passed out cold.

This normally would not be a problem but hells bells was pointed directly at the Snagley delegation which could not see this new twist in the events of our fair country’s birthday.

Hells bells went off with the first of its warheads.
Dad latter exclaimed that it was much like being shelled by the Germans. We saw the flash then a quick red arch toward us. Then, well I can only describe it as being inside of a bomb. Fire streaked in all directions in a multitude of colors, then there came a deafening boom that caused my jaw teeth to rattle this was followed by deafness and blindness. There was a smell of burning rubber, I latter found out this smell was from the rubber pads being burned off of the bottom of 4 different walkers as they streaked for safety. Unfortunately there were 19 more warheads to follow.

When the smoke cleared and I found a flashlight, I also found
1. Buck drunk oblivious to the entire fiasco
2. 3 kids hiding under my bed.
3. 4 badly damaged walkers and 7 angry senior citizens

As I look back on number 231, all in all I would say it was a pretty good 4th of July.

tom mr mac and the bull

2007-06-28T10:20:00.000-06:00

True story

My brother married into a family that had a dairy farm.
On the farm they milked about 300 cows daily. They got up around 4:00 am and milked until 10:00am then did it again about 4:00pm till 10:00 pm from 10:00 to 4:00 they fed the cow planted crops did maintenance on tractors etc…. But during calving season they did put in some long days.

There was a man who worked for Mr. McIntosh named Tom. Tom was a drunk. They gave his paycheck directly to his wife rather than to him as he would drink it up and they would not have any groceries. Mr. Mac would give him 10 dollars cash to keep him out of the grocery money and Tom would buy as much cheep wine, as his 10 would buy him. This was back in the 70s and evidently you could by a great deal of wine for 10 dollars.

This is not a story about him drinking it is a story of the night that the bull busted out of the fence.

Well Mr. Mac, rest his soul, was a man with a fiery temper. He would and did shoot people who crossed him. He was known as a hard man to cross, but he knew how to get things done.

They had several Holstein bulls whose job was to impregnate as many Holstein cows as possible. They enjoyed their job immensely, the only other job that a male Holstein is suited for on a dairy farm is hamburger, and given the choice most bulls will chose stud bull over hamburger any day.

They had this one bull named Bull. Bull was about the size of a Sherman tank and almost as smart. One cold November night Bull busted out of the fence and decided it would be a great idea to stand in the road and moo at the cars that passed. One of which ended up being the state trooper that lived down the street. It was 2:00 am. The temp was about 34 degrees. Mr. Macs prescribed mode of fence repair was to fix a pot of hot coffee pour it into a thermos and then drive his truck to Toms house and blow the horn till Tom came out then drive him to the fence and drink hot coffee while Tom herded Bull and then fixed the fence.

Tom was not happy. He was up 2 hours before he normally would have gotten up. He new he was going to have to stand in the freezing rain and fix the fence while Mr. Mac sat in the warm truck and shined his headlights at the hole Bull had created in the fence and drank coffee. So Tom started cussing Mr. Mac.

Mr. Mac told me he did not care what Tom said, he did not blame him for being mad and cussing him, but there was no way he was going to fix that fence in the rain, that is what he paid Tom for.

The longer Tom worked the braver he got and the louder he cussed Mr. Mac. He disputed his lineage, he insinuated that he was the product of unholy unions involving various farm animals, he even stated with certainty that Mr. Mac regularly ate the leavings of the bull that destroyed the fence Bull. Mr. Mac sipped coffee in his truck and listened to the radio.

Then Mr. Mac looked up into the tree that loomed over Tom and saw two eyes glowing in the headlights of his pickup truck. He studied this, as it seemed more interesting that listing to Tom cuss his entire family tree. He soon discovered that it was a lynx. For those of you who do not know, a Lynx is like a wild cat on steroids. They were not uncommon in that area back then. Mr. Mac hated them, they killed the quail that he hunted, and as of 1970 conservation had not been invented in southwest rural Alabama. People dumped stuff in creeks and called it dumping stuff in creeks not polluting the watershed, but I digress.

Mr. Mack could tell that this Lynx was just about to pounce on Tom. Tom for his part had reached its apex. He was shouting at the top of his lungs about how Mr. Mac was responsible for all the ills of society from the nuclear arms race to people dumping stuff in creeks. How that he hated his guts, and for a nickel or a used jaw breaker would whup the ever loving Bull poop out of Mr. Mac, and might do it anyway jaw breaker or no.
Mr. Mac reached behind the seat of his truck and got his browning shotgun opened the door a crack and shot the lynx graveyard dead.

Tom and the lynx hit the ground at exactly the same time. Tom was crying “Please Mr. Mac don’t shoot me. I didn’t mean what I said. You are a good man. I’ll fix this fence don’t shoot me. I’m sorry I am sorry. Tom laughs about this episode now 37 years latter but not much.

Mr. Mac fell out of the truck laughing and accidentally shot the door of his truck. He never got it fixed because it gave him an opportunity to tell this story.

If you could hear Mr. Mac tell this story you would now be rolling in the floor laughing. It is one of the rare times I ever heard Mr. Mac laugh.

Snagley out.

Fuzzy Britches

2007-06-26T08:50:00.000-06:00

Fuzzy Britches is dying.

She can hardly stand.
Son #2 is beyond distraught.

I got the call at work that when he went up to do his daily chores and his pet chicken could not get up.

For those who do not know Fuzzy Britches is my sons blind hen. She was born not quite right. She never matured correctly and was picked on by the other hens. so i built her her own pen. Her beak overgrows so i have to trim it periodical so that she can eat her chicken feed, no it does not hurt. Her feathers did not grow correctly like the others making her look as if she were wearing fuzzy britches, or pants to you city folks. As my wife's grandfather says "that hen ain't right". She has lived there in her personal pen for two years. My son has carried her around the yard and played with her for this time. She has never laid an egg or done anything other than play with Son #2.

Now she is dying and he is very upset. My wife said that they have all been crying this morning. The kids have all been crying for Daddy to come home and love on them. I am good at that.

I don't expect her to be alive this evening. I do expect a tearful funeral full of youthful eulogizing.

I know she was just a chicken and not a member of the family. On a normal farm she would have been chicken salad about a year and a half ago. but we do not have a normal farm. We are not in the business of raising chickens but raising kids. It is a wonderful thing to have kids grow up with animals to see them born and to see them live their life. It is a shame and not a shame that most pets have shorter lives that humans, but it does build character.

I just don't know how much more character i can stand.

Snagley out.

Paris Hilton

2007-06-20T15:14:00.000-06:00

this is to be my only Paris Hilton post.

Is it me or does she look like someone punched her in the bottom lip.

I usually dont speak ill of a womans looks but this woman is an odd looking woman.

Snagley out

Jury Duty

2007-06-19T11:14:00.000-06:00

Jury duty.
If you have never seen the jury system at work, as I had not. Then are thrust into it one of two things will happen.

1. You will marvel at the American jurist system. It can be the great equalizer putting a stop to nincompoop lawyers.
I had a lawyer cry during jury selection. It was staged. He was a rip-off lawyer hoping for a huge punitive damages settlement. This old lady had a 15000.00 house and I found out latter that they were suing for millions of dollars. He burst into tears while interviewing the prospective jury. I found out latter he did this so that the other lawyers in the room could judge our responses to a grown man crying, so that they could better pick a jury that would be sympathetic to the old lady. All of the jurors saw through it.

2. You would run screaming from the courtroom. Most of the jurors don’t want to be there. The ones I spoke to did however take this very seriously. There was a capital murder trial going on that week and we did not want to be on that jury. We all did however wish to take our civic duty seriously and we did all wish to be fair and honest. I did see someone spell city hall (City Haul) and this person was chosen for a jury.

I was not chosen for a jury. I spoke with one of the lawyers after I was dismissed. He was sneaking a smoke behind the building between the dumpsters; he said that juries don’t like smoking lawyers. I asked him why I was dismissed; he said that I was deemed too contrary to choose, that and I was reading a John Grisham book, and that is a big red flag to lawyers. He also told me that he and his associate would put their suits out in the sun to fade so they would not look as if they were rich lawyers, they never came to court with their hair neatly combed, and never tied their ties correctly so as to appear as common as everyone else. I could go on but I got nauseous and threw up on his scuffed un-shined loafers.

I felt that I was a little cheated by not getting called to serve on a jury. But I did show up. Out of 350 citizens called only 58 showed up. The other 292 were sent fines in the mail. They can server 5 days in jail and pay a 5000.00 fine. I asked a judge if they collected a lot of these and she said no. But it goes on their record and if they are ticketed or ever have a legal problem it will pop up and they will be dealt with then.
The murder trial was settled out of court. They looked at the remaining jurors that would have heard the trial and it was composed of people like me (contrary) who were the left over and the defendant did not like his chances.
Still with all the crap and nincompoop lawyers I would rather take my chances with them than with the governments of China, Cuba, any Middle Eastern government, etc,etc…..

Snagley out

i'm back

2007-06-15T10:53:00.000-06:00

I am back
the trip went well, but while i was there my bronchitis turned into pneumonia.
i lived.
then i took a weeks vacation and went to cub scout camp with my two boys.
then i got called to jury duty.
Sorry about the no posting but i dont have internet at home.

what did i miss.

sick as a goat

2007-05-25T12:44:00.000-06:00

i am sick
I have bronchitis
i will be out of town next week
i may or may not be able to post.
I have this sale pending that may enable me to pay off the historic and senic snagley family acres.
wish me luck

Snagley out.

Letter to me from Wife

2007-05-22T14:20:00.000-06:00

This is the letter that my wife wrote me the day after mothers day.
I took my older kids names out of the post as i always do.

I love you and thank you for working for all of us. I just went a bought a wonderful new stroller and got to see my little girl look beautiful up on the stage practicing. The boys have got to rest and have fun today. Baby James is sound asleep and cool and at peace in our sweet little home. Abbie just served her brothers ice cream (on her own) and offered to serve me. James will wake up and I will get to love on him. Tonight I will swing on my swing and tomorrow I will clean my house and work in my garden. I will teach the boys something new and listen to Son #2 read. Daughter#1 will my ear off and do pretend gymnastics on the swingset. The boys will ride their bikes. And all because of you. You are the one that makes all this happen. WE ALL LOVE YOU and when I think of what I wanted my life to be, this is it. I would be so lonely without you and it all would be so boring. I love our time together after the kids sleep when we can just laugh and be together. Love, Jo Snagley

I lost my pocket knife

2007-05-14T17:01:00.000-06:00

I lost my dang pocketknife. It was in the old truck when i wrecked it.
I went into the Snagley archives and found an old scout knife but it is not a viable alternative to a boker congress 4 blade pocket knife.

In other news.
I have planted 29 tomato plants 4 rows of string beans, some okra, squash, peas, lettuce, spinach, onions, cabbage, and 12 assorted pepper plants.

In yet other news.
I have developed a problem with belly button lint. It seems that I have been accumulating it in my navel. For me, this is a relatively new phenomenon.
The ravages of age.

I bought my wife a swing for mothers day she likes it.
i got a mushy letter from her today and almost posted it. I may yet. it was good.

Snagley out

clogged arteries, owl barf and strings

2007-05-07T12:26:00.000-06:00

I have been debating what if anything to post.

My wife just found out she has some blockages in the arteries in her heart.
She has been having chest pains for some time.
That is not particularly funny.

In other news.
As some of you know we home school our children. If you don’t like home schooling please go tell Ronald McDonald, I sure don’t want to hear it.
I got to go with them to the university of Alabama arboretum on a field trip. It was pretty cool. We got to pick through owl barf. My 5-year-old daughter found a rodent skull in her batch of owl vomit. That was also cool.

Ok there are these three strings that are walking down the street and decide to have a cool beer.
{Now I know most of you don’t think that strings can walk but please suspend your disbelief for my sake.}

They go into a bar and sit down. The bar tender never comes over to ask what they want. He even seems to be ignoring them.

The first string {I think his name is Lance} gets up and walks over to the bar tender and said I need three Guinness’s dark please in three clean glasses.

The Bartender turns around and says, “ We don’t serve strings here”

Well the first string is so shocked by this that he goes back and tells his other friends who are shocked and appalled.

Well the second string gets all bent up. He is bowed if you will. This bowed string goes up to the bartender and says. Hey bud we need some beers down here.

The bartender does not even look up he says, “We don’t server strings here” he spits into a glass and starts cleaning it with his shirttail.

Well the second string is so shocked by this he wets his string and rushes back to the table.

The third string gets really mad. He jumps up and ties a big knot in his self. He then unravels the top of his thread so that he looks even wilder. He rushes over to the bartender and says I want three beers and I want them now.

The bartender looks and says “aren’t you another of those strings”
The third string says, “No I am a frayed knot”

down and out

2007-04-30T08:05:00.000-06:00

I have recently found myself posting about annual toothpaste usage in the united states.

I think i am loosing it.

I am unsure of how to proceed from this point.

I enjoy blogging but i also despise putting out toothpaste usage trivia.

I used to enjoy posting a story that i considered funny. but they aren't funny anymore.
suggestions welcome
Snagley out.

The below is for Cake Lady

How i hurt my head
Part Two

How i got my name

Toothpaste useage in the US

2007-04-26T10:25:00.000-06:00

This assumes that everyone brushes their teeth 4 times a day (with toothpaste) this includes bums on the street, people with no teeth, and my good buddy and college roomate Chuck.

Current Us population estimate July 2006
298,444,215.00

Toothpaste Weight in Ounces
0.01

ounces per use
2,984,442.15

Times brushed daily
4.00

Ounces daily
11,937,768.60

Pounds Daily
746,110.54

Tons Daily
373.06

Tons Weekly
2,611.39

Tons Annually
135,792.12

Pounds annually
271,584,235.65

Ounces Annually
4,345,347,770.40

chickens, drawers, baseball and too tight pants.

2007-04-25T06:57:00.000-06:00

I got up really early this morning to feed chickens and survey my domain. I did so in my underwear and rubber boots as is my practice. This particular morning, I was greeted by the neighbor lady wanting to buy some eggs. She commented that she liked my boxer briefs. She bought 18 eggs and was on her way. What is this world coming to when you cant feed the chickens in your drawers? I may need to think about moving further out into the country.

In other news, The company I work for took us all to a minor league baseball game last week. Part of the deal was that some representative from the company had to throw out the first pitch. As you would guess, Bo Snagley drew the short straw, and threw that sucker out.

I had to go to the souvenir stand and they took me to the underside of the park. There I met the other 6 people who would throw out first pitches. There was some kid having his 10th birthday, me, some girl who was wearing pants that were way too tight, giving us all a glimpse into a world that would be better left unknown, a 6 year old cancer survivor and three other boys who played baseball for Dixie youth.

The major danger of throwing out the first pitch for an adult is not making it to the catcher. The 10 year old did just fine. I managed a fine wind up and threw a soft strike. The girl in the too tight pants threw it high and tight. The cancer survivor made it about 4 feet but the stands went wild, as they should. The other three kids tried to break the fingers of the catcher.

I did not take much out of this experience other than the cancer survivor should have been up there by her self. The 10 year old should have been in the stands with a new hat and cake on his face. The girl in the too tight pants should put on some underpants quickly, Ladies please if you wear pants that are too low and too tight, I personally don’t want to see either panties or butt crack or any other creases or crevices, try out for the pussycat dolls instead. The other three kids should have been in the bullpen. And lastly, Bo Snagley should have had a cool beer and a side of nachos.

Snagley out